Wonkette Week In Review: Make Sure You Didn't Miss Our Top Stories!
You guys know how this works: You either didn't have time to read Wonkette at work (though what is this "work" anyway?) or you inexplicably didn't spend every moment of the last week refreshing Yr Wonkette in yr browser, and somehow, you missed some of our fine industrial-grade snark. So of a Saturday, we bring you the ten most-shared articles from the Wonkette Facesbök. And then we try to shame you into social-media-ing your own favorite stories in the coming week, that we might be blessed with monetizations, HOORAY! Also, we love you. So as you recover from your Halloween candy coma, here are our top ten from the week past:
10: Lindsey Graham is hinting at a 2016 presidential run, and the white-men-only clubs couldn't be more excited.
9: Louie Gohmert knows why we shouldn't have no gays in the military, and that is because it may have been fine when the ancient Greeks got all massaged up by their boyfriends, but times have changed and we don't have time for all that Hoplite tomfoolery, tell you what.
8: Pope Francis restated the Catholic Church's longstanding position that there's no contradiction between faith and science, especially between the Book of Genesis and the theory of evolution, and a lot of people were more surprised than they should have been. But then Pat Robertson explained how Noah's flood was part of Bible-times climate change, and we all got dumber again.
7: A former Marine dad in Maryland promised to "bring down a shit-storm" on his daughter's high school if they kept insisting on including Islam in the girl's World History class. He apparently believed that learning about the existence of Muslims might make her one, even though she studied paramecia in Biology without turning into Louie Gohmert.
6: Chris Christie started a fight with nurse Kaci Hickox, a Doctors Without Borders volunteer who was returning home from treating Ebola patients in Sierra Leone. He didn't seem to have thought this one through very well.
5: Fox Business Channel is very worried about the specter of affordable gasoline: could it tank the economy? They're just asking.
4: By opposing an animal-cruelty law that would have banned canned "pigeon shoots," the National Rifle Association also protected Pennsylvanians' right to raise dogs and cats for food.
3: We're worried that the outbreak of Stupid in America may have reached pandemic levels with the latest mania for quarantining healthy people who have treated Ebola patients.
2: We're sorry to say that our second-most-shared story of the week was wrong, wrong, wrong: there was indeed a good guy who stepped in to stop a homophobic assault at the Dallas Airport, but it was not the celebrity we thought it was. Still, better to wrongly call someone a hero than a jerk, right? Maybe?
1: Our most-shared story this week looked at the bizarre rightwing attempt to paint nurse Kaci Hickox as a terrible conspirator who tried to hide her "links to the CDC," which is now apparently a dangerous terrorist organization or something. Whole lotta stupid goin' on.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.