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You guys know how this works: You either didn't have time to read Wonkette at work (though what is this "work" anyway?) or you inexplicably didn't spend every moment of the last week refreshing Yr Wonkette in yr browser, and somehow, you missed some of our fine industrial-grade snark. So of a Saturday, we bring you the ten most-shared articles from the Wonkette Facesbök. And then we try to shame you into social-media-ing your own favorite stories in the coming week, that we might be blessed with monetizations, HOORAY! Also, we love you. So as you recover from your Halloween candy coma, here are our top ten from the week past:


10: Lindsey Graham is hinting at a 2016 presidential run, and the white-men-only clubs couldn't be more excited.

9: Louie Gohmert knows why we shouldn't have no gays in the military, and that is because it may have been fine when the ancient Greeks got all massaged up by their boyfriends, but times have changed and we don't have time for all that Hoplite tomfoolery, tell you what.

8: Pope Francis restated the Catholic Church's longstanding position that there's no contradiction between faith and science, especially between the Book of Genesis and the theory of evolution, and a lot of people were more surprised than they should have been. But then Pat Robertson explained how Noah's flood was part of Bible-times climate change, and we all got dumber again.

7: A former Marine dad in Maryland promised to "bring down a shit-storm" on his daughter's high school if they kept insisting on including Islam in the girl's World History class. He apparently believed that learning about the existence of Muslims might make her one, even though she studied paramecia in Biology without turning into Louie Gohmert.

6: Chris Christie started a fight with nurse Kaci Hickox, a Doctors Without Borders volunteer who was returning home from treating Ebola patients in Sierra Leone. He didn't seem to have thought this one through very well.

5: Fox Business Channel is very worried about the specter of affordable gasoline: could it tank the economy? They're just asking.

4: By opposing an animal-cruelty law that would have banned canned "pigeon shoots," the National Rifle Association also protected Pennsylvanians' right to raise dogs and cats for food.

3: We're worried that the outbreak of Stupid in America may have reached pandemic levels with the latest mania for quarantining healthy people who have treated Ebola patients.

2: We're sorry to say that our second-most-shared story of the week was wrong, wrong, wrong: there was indeed a good guy who stepped in to stop a homophobic assault at the Dallas Airport, but it was not the celebrity we thought it was. Still, better to wrongly call someone a hero than a jerk, right? Maybe?

1: Our most-shared story this week looked at the bizarre rightwing attempt to paint nurse Kaci Hickox as a terrible conspirator who tried to hide her "links to the CDC," which is now apparently a dangerous terrorist organization or something. Whole lotta stupid goin' on.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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FINALLY. Of course, we say "finally," because we haven't been behind the scenes in the House Judiciary and Intelligence committees to witness the negotiating and wrangling firsthand, so we don't know what it's taken to make this happen, but clear your calendars for July 17, because Bobby Mueller is goin' to Congress!

Committee chairs Adam Schiff and Jerry Nadler sent the letter late yesterday, accompanied by a subpoena, for Mueller to testify at 9 a.m. Eastern on July 17, which is a Wednesday, so you will presumably not be busy with brunch. The hearings for each committee will be back to back, after which members of Mueller's staff will meet with committee staff behind closed doors.

Schiff told Rachel Maddow last night that it should not be viewed as a friendly subpoena, because as we all know, Mueller has been very reluctant to become the star of the political circus this will surely create. However, he's gonna have to suck it up, because as we all saw after what happened when Mueller addressed the nation for 10 whole minutes, there is great value in actually having Mueller breathe life into his own work, for an American audience that hasn't read his 448-page report. (And we don't blame them/you! We probably wouldn't have read it all if it wasn't our job. It would probably be on our "list," like "someday I am going to watch 'The Sopranos' start to finish finally. And then I will read the Mueller Report!")

Point is, it needs to happen on live TV, where people can gather around at work and on the train and in the Fantastic Sams while they gets their hair did, and let this highly respected public servant tell the story of how America's most hostile enemy attacked the 2016 election in order to help Donald Trump, how the Trump campaign was positively orgasmic over that reacharound, and how Trump criminally obstructed the investigation into that hostile foreign attack at every turn.

And because Robert Mueller is a patriotic American who respects the rule of law and our institutions, he will be complying with the subpoena, because of fucking course he will.

Right off the bat, we have a couple of questions:

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Beds at the 'temporary' shelter in Homestead, Florida. US HHS photo.

The House of Representatives passed a $4.5 billion emergency bill to fund detention of undocumented immigrants and asylum seekers yesterday, but the bill's demands that government meet minimal standards of humane treatment led Donald Trump to threaten a veto, because no one puts cruelty in a corner. The bill passed largely along party lines, 230-195, with four progressive Democratic first-term representatives opposing it because they believed the machinery of the New Cruelty shouldn't get a single dollar more. Trump prefers a bill already passed by the Senate, which would provide a similar level of funding $4.6 billion), but lacks the House bill's crazy radical requirements that migrants be held in less horrifying conditions than have been reported in the last week.

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