Wonkette went to the store in the middle of putting together this week's top 10 and then Wonkette's good stepson called in the middle of that shopping trip and oh right now it is 10 p.m. and you need a top 10 in the morning, and this week's stories were chosen by a court of the righteous.

10. Trump Gives Netanyahu Fake 'Key To White House' To Celebrate Fake Peace Deal. So That's On Brand! Yes, sure.

9. Bumbling Slapstick Duo 'Burkman And Wohl' Stage Fake FBI Raid, Get Caught Almost Immediately. I'm sure this was funny.

8. SEPTEMBER SURPRISE! Trump Still About As Popular As Cat Vomit. He is not popular.

7. A Significant Portion Of The American Public Has Gone Absolutely Bugf*ck. They have.

6. One Million Moms Are Very Mad About 'Fruit Bowls.' That Is Not A Euphemism. It never is.

5. Can Somebody Please Find Trump Idiot Michael Caputo's Pacifier? He freaked out this week.

4. Is 'Saying Their Name' Some Sort Of Witchy Voodoo Hoodoo? Wingnut Says Yes! They are crack'd.

3. Trump Dick-Punches Self Repeatedly While George Stephanopoulos Watches. It is a thing that happened.

2. Sheriff's Deputy Recommends Rightwing Militia Plant Knife On Anyone They Happen To Murder. This is bad.

1. Wonkette STICK TO SPORTS! To be fair, it's only number one because it was at the top of the page for like five day.

Please have some pictures (and a video) I already put in this post.

Shy got out the Halloween box. The dogs were DISPLEASED.

Previously in that kitten in a whip outfit:

VERY previously.

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