Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 is Life's A Beach!
Good morning! Good morning! It is Saturday! I woke up early because I was too tired to do top 10 yesterday! Here are some stories!
10. Arizona GOP Knows The Real Antifa Is ... Cindy McCain???? Everybody knows that.
9. Tasered Balls And No Fly Lists: A Quick, Buzzkilling Reality Check. Robyn with the buzzkilling!
8. Aryan Dumpster Fire Madison Cawthorn Only Told The Rubes To Threaten Congress *Lightly*, Y'all. Rolf from Sound of Music says what?
7. Shame Terrorists Attacked The Capitol Because Sarah Huckabee Sanders Never Got Her Chicken Dinner. They didn't even charge her for her cheese board.
6. Cheryl Ladd's Wife Is The Most Gorgeous Woman! Tabs, Fri., Jan. 15, 2021. Man I must really have tricked you with this hed. It is not my fault, that was a true headline in the wild! They all are, except I think SER makes his up on Tuesday am's.
5. Arnold Schwarzenegger Has Some Things To Say About Nazis, Swords, Donald Trump. Don't be a Nazi, says Arnold Schwarzenegger. That is really really good advice.
4. Cruz And Hawley Disappointed In Biden For Tearing Country Apart, Noting Their Role In Attempted Coup. Heal! Unite! Lower the temperature! Don't say we did a coup!
3. LET'S IMPEACH THE MOTHERF*CKER! AGAIN! RIGHT HERE IN THIS LIVEBLOG! It was a liveblog!
2. White Trump Supporters Shocked To Learn That 'Law And Order' Might Apply To Them. I too am shocked. What is the country coming to???
1. Marco Rubio Wants Joe Biden To Send You $2000, And You BETTER NOT NEED ANYTHING ELSE. It is pretty weird you guys chose this one and not, say, "Ivanka and the Terlet," but you did. I love you.
And there you have it, some stories from this week!
Now it is time to solemnly remember all the hours of its best young life that Wonkette sacrificed to watching these monsters, and particularly Monster No. One, to keep you informed, and to remember that when a president's impeached, or Marco Rubio has a shitmouth about stimulus checks apparently, this is the only place you want to be! So please keep us going if you are able!
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