Donate

World's Worst Psychiatrist Keith Ablow Opens Yap To Explain Michelle Obama Is A Disgusting Fatty

News

Oh Lord, Keith Ablow is on the teevee making grunting sounds with his facehole, and those grunts have somehow formed stupid, stupid words, and now Keith Ablow looks like an asshole. In other news, it’s Tuesday.


Ablow was the designated penis for today’s edition of Fox’s Outnumbered when the conversation turned to nutrition for children. S.E. Cupp Kennedy was yapping about packing lunches for her kids, and she sounded dumb enough to start with:

I can’t pack things they’re not going to eat so we have to find a happy medium as parents. We don’t need the federal government applying, projecting these standards upon us, and Michelle Obama is so…like, the duchess when she…

Being childless, we were not aware that Michelle Obama personally inspects every lunch that every parent in America packs for their kids every day to make sure that all the little tykes are getting the kale and blueberries that Kennedy says she can’t give her kids, and if the lunches lack kale and blueberries, apparently the First Lady sniffs and orders her footmen to get Kennedy’s children some healthy food, goddammit, and also too off with her whiny little head.

Listen, Kennedy: guidelines are simply guidelines to help you understand nutrition. Michelle Obama is not “projecting” anything (though we think you might be). Your kids don’t want to eat kale and blueberries? Fine, pack them some goddamn Twinkies and roll them out the door to the bus stop.

Then America’s worst psychiatrist stepped in:

How well could she be eating? She needs to drop a few. [All the women gasp as if they didn’t already know Keith Ablow is terrible] We’re taking nutritional advice from who? Who are we taking nutritional advice from … Well let’s be honest, there’s no French fries happening? That’s all kale and carrots? I don’t buy it.

And we don’t buy that you are a trained psychiatrist and not a post-lobotomy Mr. Clean. Considering the quality of Ablow’s analysis and advice on everything else ever under the sun, we think we’ll skip listening to anything he has to say on the subject of nutrition and healthy eating and body type.

[Mediaite]

Follow Gary on Twitter. Anyone making "Malia and Sasha's mama is so fat..." jokes will be muted, blocked, and shot out of a cannon into the sun.

$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc