Late Wednesday, the internet got lit on FAAAAAAAHR, Y'ALL, because "Kellyanne and George Conway" was trending on Twitter. Were they getting divorced? Did George murder Kellyanne with a thousand tweets? Did the Bowling Green Massacre happen in their house?

No! It was just that the Washington Post gave us the inside scoop piece on the Conway marriage that none of us even knew we were craving! IT. IS. DELICIOUS.

The most important thing you need to know is that in this article, we witness Kellyanne Conway quite literally talking shit about her husband ON BACKGROUND, and attempting to convince the WaPo journalist that she had made ground rules that any shit-talking she did about her husband was to be ON BACKGROUND. "A source close to the couple" says George is a piece of shit. "A friend familiar with their marriage" says George dutch ovens Kellyanne every night.

Look at this craven asshole:

Here's a conversation from a few days after our walk:

Me: You told me you found [George's tweets] disrespectful.

Kellyanne: It is disrespectful, it's a violation of basic decency, certainly, if not marital vows . . . as "a person familiar with their relationship."

Me: No, we're on the record here. You can't say after the fact "as someone familiar."

Kellyanne: I told you everything about his tweets was off the record.

Me: No, that's not true. That never happened.

Kellyanne: Well, people do see it this way. People do see it that way, I don't say I do, but people see it that way.

Me: But I'm saying we never discussed everything about his tweets being off the record. There are certain things you said that I put off the record.

Kellyanne: Fine. I've never actually said what I think about it and I won't say what I think about it, which tells you what I think about it.

That's it. No Kellyanne Conway quote can ever top that exchange ever, according to a person familiar with Wonkette's opinions about Kellyanne Conway quotes.

The rest of the article is wonderful too. It of course focuses on how Kellyanne Conway is a terrible dickhead with no soul who works for the Trump administration, whereas George Conway is still a piece of shit human -- just look at his professional history -- but has joined the ranks of people who fucking haaaaaaaaate Donald Trump, because he has a functioning human brain.

The WaPo journalist, Ben Terris, notes that if people are wondering how Kellyanne 'n' George live together without killing each other's faces all the time, they must consider where they live. There's a picture of it on Zillow, which says it clocks in at either 11,478 or 15,000 square feet, depending on which part of the listing you're reading. They bought it for a cool $7.785 million last year, which is a bargain considering it had been listed at $12 million back in 2011. (More house porn if you hit that link.) It's across Rock Creek Park from Kalorama, where Jared 'n' Ivanka live like fucking paupers in a house that's only 6,870 square feet. Wonkette scoffs at Jared 'n' Ivanka's cottage, according to a person close to Wonkette.

George Conway used to love Trump, but he became disillusioned after seeing what a shithole president Trump is. Kellyanne has a paycheck to earn. That is the depth of the complexity here. Upon showing Terris a picture of Conway on election night, this exchange ensued:

"That photo was from before you cried," Kellyanne says.

"Now I cry for other reasons," George mutters.

Kellyanne pretends to ignore that comment, something she's been doing a lot of lately.

"You gotta see this picture," George, 54, says. "You should like this, it's your boss."

"He's not just my boss," Kellyanne, 51, says. "He's our president."

"Yeah," George says, walking out of the room. "We'll see how long that lasts."


Terris and Kellyanne Conway go on a very long walk together, during which she says it's ironic like rain on your wedding day that feminists hate her, because after all isn't she living the life they want? According to a source close to feminists who write words at Wonkette, that is some fucking bullshit because nowhere in feminist literature does it say "the ultimate goal is to tell lies for puss-grabbing alleged billionaires with obvious skin conditions in exchange for money." Maybe K-Con is just behind on her Audre Lorde.

She also says she didn't like it when Trump forced a crisis at the border and then started ripping families apart, but it wasn't his fault, because for the purposes of Kellyanne's bank account, nothing is Trump's fault.

Kellyanne Conway talked some of her shit about George on the record:

"I feel there's a part of him that thinks I chose Donald Trump over him," Kellyanne says as we walk. "Which is ridiculous. One is my work and one is my marriage." [...]

"Nobody knows who I am because of my husband," she says. "People know of my husband because of me."

And what does George think about all this?

"If there's an issue," George said, "it's because she's in that job, for that man."

It's called divorce, George Conway. You need one.

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[Washington Post]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Nancy Pelosi is making news again today after her weekly press conference, mostly because she said this about yesterday's nutbag performance from President Stable Genius:

[T]his time, another temper tantrum — again — I pray for the President Of The United States. I wish him and his family, his administration and staff would have an intervention for the good of the country.

She prays for him. And she's just kind of suggesting that maybe the president is unwell, in his brain. She's being very subtle!

When Glenn Thrush asked afterward what kind of "intervention" she might be talking about, she suggested that Article 25 would be just fine.

But many folks out there right now are saying "BUT WHAT ABOUT INPEACH! They are not going to do an intervention, because the intervention is called INPEACH!" (They are taking her words very literally, it would seem.) Every other damn day lately, there is news about how "NANCY SAID INPEACH IS BAD" or "NANCY SAID TRUMP'S ACTIONS IS SELF-INPEACH-ATORY, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, NANCY!" and whatever else, we don't know, because we have muted all of Twitter until further notice. (Here is some news about the House Democrats' weekly meeting yesterday, most of which was about Democrats yelling INPEACH! while Nancy Pelosi gave them cold showers.)

Here's the thing:

In today's presser, Pelosi was clearer than ever about her feelings on impeachment -- she doesn't like it, and she'd really hate for the nation to get to a place where that's inevitable, she is just saying it would be truly terrible for them to have to do that -- but they might just be FORCED to go there. And wouldn't that be just terrible? Nancy Pelosi is praying about that just like she is praying for Trump, under a big oak tree that casts all the shade she threw at Donald Trump for her entire fucking presser.

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Happy Throwback Thursday! Remember Paul Manafort? He's still in jail, don't worry. But it looks like he might be getting some company soon from his old pal Stephen Calk, who just got indicted today by the Southern District of New York.

Calk was a simple CEO and COB at the Federal Savings Bank of Chicago, but he had big dreams. He'd been an army pilot and a money guy, so he figured he was competent to be either Secretary of Treasury or Secretary of Army. He'd take Commerce or HUD, or even a cool ambassadorship to France, or the UK, or the UN -- he wasn't picky. Just any old position befitting a guy who is 100 percent going to be played by Michael McKean in the movie version of this nightmare.

Luckily Calk knew a guy on the inside. Sure that guy had recently been You're Fired from the Trump campaign for ratfucking the Ukrainian election, but Paul Manafort was still waving his bits all over Trumpland in the summer and fall of 2016, so Paul Manafort had the hookup that Calk needed. Luckily, Calk had what Manafort needed, which was MONEY. Manafort's fountain of untaxed cash had dried up since the Ukrainians gave his guy Viktor Yanukovych the boot, and he was in danger of losing multiple investment properties to foreclosure. So naturally Calk stepped up to the plate with $15 million in loans to keep the wolves at bay, because what are friends with more political ambition than scruple for, right?

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