Tucker Carlson FURIOUS You Canceled Dr. Immanuel Before She Could Explain: Does Demon Jizz Cause COVID-19?

Science

Screengrab from a Stella Immanuel video that is at least partly about snake penises

We are pleased/filled with sorrow to tell you that there is more news in the scientific field of demonspermology, the foremost expert on which is Dr. Stella Immanuel of Houston. She also is just pretty sure hydroxychloroquine is a miracle drug to cure coronavirus — it is not — but does not mention whether hydroxychloroquine is effective against demon sperm, or whether or not demon sperm causes COVID-19. (If your weenus loses its sense of smell and taste, you might have a problem. A DEMON PROBLEM. We are just saying.)

Immanuel is really not one of those doctors who gives you all the information, is what we are saying.

After Immanuel and a cast of doctors almost as bugfuck as her gave their press conference on quack cures for coronavirus this week, their video went viral on Facebook, and if you know people who post memes about how Noah was also too a conspiracy theorist until it started raining, you saw it there. At least until Facebook started deleting the shit out of the video and any reference to it.

Maybe you saw when Donald Trump retweeted it, because he's that stupid, before Twitter deleted it.

All of this censorship has made Dr. Immanuel very mad. She calmly and medically explained this week that if Facebook does not put her videos back up, Jesus Christ himself will break into Facebook and take the whole site down.


However, just like Christ is still keeping his faithful waiting for the Rapture, he still has not deleted all of Facebook. Laaaaaaaaazy, lazy savior.

There is one thing Dr. Immanuel is not mad about, and it is the opposite of censorship. You see, because all these lib commie rags like the Daily Beast are reporting on her expertise in identifying and destroying the demons who fuck us in our dreams and make us wake up with demon cooties in our Down Theres, she is getting free advertising for these medical facts!

Immanuel was on Twitter last night, thanking the Beast's Will Sommer for all his help:

And she thanked the Beast for reporting accurately about what happens when you are sleeping and all of a sudden the Devil starts whispering sweet nothings into your no-no crotch and all of a sudden you wake up with a new set of medical issues:

Trump, the president of America, promoted this woman on Twitter, because she likes his Hydroxybonercure 3000 snake oil treatment for the novel coronavirus, a disease 150,000 Americans have died of largely because of his malevolent incompetence. In case you forgot why we are talking about this.

Immanuel, who is ALSO just pretty sure human medicines are manufactured with alien DNA — wait, is HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE made with it? — also thanked CNN and MSNBC for the free ads:

In case we did not know Immanuel was being serious about this, she stated this morning that yes, some of us do need deliverance from our demon sperm problems, just like the Duggars' Bible friends warned us so many moons ago:

Cool.

You'd think Trump people would be backing away slowly, but you'd be wrong about how stupid they are.

Say hello again to Trump Campaign and World's Most Biggest Idiot Lawyer Jenna Ellis, who once sent CNN a hilarious nastygram threatening them over a poll that showed (like all the others) that Joe Biden is beating Trump handily. She had a zinger prepared for people who would make fun of Dr. Immanuel's knowledge of what the demons do with their babymakers:

It's funny because Ellis has zero idea how much she just closed escrow on herself right there. Just save that tweet, whenever you need to be reminded exactly who we're up against.

Speaking of Trump idiots, Tucker Carlson also defended Immanuel. And you know why? Because YOU are the real racist, because you are making fun of Immanuel and SUGGESTING she believes in weird shit, what a racist YOU are.

Tucker Carlson defends doctor who believes in demon sex (July 28, 2020) www.youtube.com


CARLSON: Google's countless toadies online did the cleanup work, the ugly stuff. [He means they censored Immanuel.] The Daily Beast attacked Dr. Immanuel for getting her medical degree in Africa and then suggested she believed in witchcraft—because you know Africans do that, right?

The fact that she confirms she believes in this weird shit is, we guess, irrelevant.

Tucker's entire show was hilarious batfucking crazy. He whined about how Trump is down by double digits because Democrats are keeping everybody scared, and then revealed the real reason everybody is censoring Dr. Demon Jizz. Want to hear what YOU did? You cancel cultured poor Dr. Demon Jizz, just because you were threatened by all her actual scientific information about hydroxychloroquine (and demon jizz), and you were worried that if people learned THE TRUTH about hydroxychloroquine (and demon jizz) Trump would lose:

CARLSON: Yesterday the news site Breitbart posted a video of a group of physicians giving a press conference about medical advances in the fight against COVID. Some of the news that doctors delivered was hopeful because there is hopeful news to report. 17 million people saw that video, the president retweeted it. This enraged Democrats. Any scientific advancement that reduces the suffering of Americans in an election year is a threat to Joe Biden's campaign.

So, they decided to pull that video off the internet. [...]

While the rest of us were sleeping, or in the case of so many of our senators, taking payoffs from Google, a tiny number of left-wing corporations took virtually complete control of all news and information in this country.

Now, if Democrats want to erase a politically inconvenient news story fewer than 100 days before an election, they can do that — and they did do it. Big tech censored science. They pulled the video of doctors in lab coats talking about coronavirus research and they hid that video from the public.

That's right, Tucker. Why won't Google and Facebook and Twitter stop deleting all this REAL SCIENCE that's threatening the Democrats, about hydroxybonermagic 3000 and demon jizz?

Truly that is the question. And the answer is obviously that Dr. Demon Jizz was going to cure COVID-19 all by herself, with her hydroxys and maybe some homemade demon sperm bug spray, and then everybody would stop being scared and immediately go vote for Donald Trump, our sainted Dear Leader.

And now nobody is going to do that, because Google was mean to Dr. Demon Jizz.

:(

[Media Matters]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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