You Can’t Expect Lady Ivanka To Social Distance In Her DC Mansion Like Some Common Poor Person Who’s Poor

Trump

A shocking expose in Wednesday's New York Times revealed that Ivanka Trump is a useless hypocrite. We've all been struck down by the smallest feather. Trump, the senior White House daddy adviser, left Washington DC last week with her possessed Ken Doll husband, Jared Kushner, and their three children. DC has a stay-at-home order for residents unless they're performing “essential duties," but that doesn't include a family sojourn to the Trump National Golf Club Bedminster in New Jersey, where the Kushner clan celebrated the first night of Passover. Meanwhile, in-person seders were canceled across the nation, and families were waving at each other on Zoom after performing lengthy tech support for grandparents.

This is so on brand for Trump. When the president extended social distancing guidance through the end of April, Trump released a fake First Lady video telling us that “we're all in this together ... social distancing saves lives ... please do your part ... “ rah, rah, bullshit.

TRUMP: It goes without saying that this will be an enormous challenge for all of us, individually and collectively. But those lucky enough to be in a position to stay at home, please, please do so. Each and every one of us plays a role in slowing the spread.

But not you, lady! You've got places to go.


Is This Trip Really Necessary? www.youtube.com

Trump is reportedly working remotely from Bedminster while Kushner has returned to the White House to help bungle America's grand economic “reopening." We assume she has about eight nannies for every kid, so she can focus on her candid Instagram videos. Trump claims that because her daddy's golf club is shut down, it's more effective for social distancing than her ... ahem ... fucking mansion in DC's Kalorama neighborhood. When she said we all should do our part to slow the spread, she assumed we were all social distancing in empty golf clubs or the Overlook Hotel.

Maybe you're lucky enough to “be in a position to stay home," but Trump was stuck in a 6,870-square-foot prison cell. The walls of the six bedrooms and seven baths were closing in on her! Seriously, it's a lovely home. We don't begrudge people nice things paid for in part with slumlord and sweatshop money, but Princess Ivanka could at least try to set an example and endure the five wood-burning fireplaces and sun room that opens onto a patio. It's not forever, just until the shutdown ends or once Joe Biden wins the presidency and Trump's family is permanently banned from the nation's capital.

The White House issued an absurd statement defending Trump's travel.

Ivanka, with her immediate family – celebrated Passover at a closed down facility considered to be a family home.

Bwah-ha-ha! It's a private club. Members were told in March that the facility was closed until further notice as a result of New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy's social distancing measures. (Trump and Kushner's unholy union was formalized on the premises.)

The club is home to one of the Trump family's many tax dodges. The Trump organization had the Bedminster course and one on Colt Neck classified as “farmland." They grow some hay and raise eight goats, but that's good enough to reduce their tax bill for the properties to about $1,000.

Her travel was no different than had she been traveling to/from work and the location was less populated than the surrounding area near her home in DC

Gee, maybe everyone in New York should camp out at the Trump “family estate." Poor people exist and most are stuck in homes a fraction of the size of the DC mansion Trump considers just “cozy." Also, the whole fucking point of stay-at-home orders is that those who can work from home should stay at home. Trump isn't treating COVID patients or delivering groceries. She can be useless remotely. And her normal, non-pandemic commute was from the White House to the Kalorama mansion. It's a three and a half hour drive from DC to the golf club. That's not a “work" commute. GTFOH.

While at Bedminster she has been practicing social distancing and working remotely.

Given the size of this place, she'd have to work hard to not be six feet away from anyone else. She's hardly a candidate for the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Trump's move to her ancestral home also forced her Secret Service detail to travel with her over the holiday. She is the absolute worst.

Trump National Golf Club Bedminster www.youtube.com


[New York Times]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).

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