You Know What The Bundy Gang Really Needed? A Stolen .50 Cal Machine Gun.
For self defense only, of course
In addition to all those cool AR-15 and AK-47 semiautomatic rifles the Bunditarian Funtimes Freedumb Militia were toting around the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge, it turns out that one patriot among them attempted to bring in something a little heavier: A fully automatic military-grade .50 caliber machine gun. Michael R. Emry, an Idaho militia loon who called himself an "embedded journalist" during the armed occupation of the wildlife refuge, did his best to try to bring in the illegal military weapon, but was unable to, thanks to the all the law enforcement keeping an eye on the area, according to Assistant U.S. Attorney Nathan Lichvarcik.
Emry was arrested in John Day [Oregon] in early May after FBI agents found the machine gun -- identified by agents as an M2 Browning -- in a travel trailer serving as his home. The 54-year-old acknowledged that he stole it from a Boise dealer and ground off the serial numbers, Lichvarcik said. He said Emry was trying to sell the gun.
This is not your carry-around-slung-over-your-shoulder bangstick. This is the sort of thing you mount on a tripod or, if you're building a Somali "technical," on a mount in the back of a pickup:
Lichvarcik said the belt-fed gun is "capable of killing a person from over a mile away, taking out the engine block of a vehicle, shooting through a brick wall." Under federal law, civilians can only own one of these bona fide military weapons after an extensive licensing process, including approval from the ATF, getting a signature from local law enforcement, passing a background check including submitting a photograph and fingerprints to the ATF, registering the weapon, and getting ATF permission before moving it across state lines.
Or you could take Mr. Emry's approach: Steal one from a firearms dealer and then make it even more illegal by filing off all the identifying numbers. It really cuts down on the red tape. Emry had been staying with the Bunditos in the early days of the occupation, doing online reports with his very own patriotic news site he called "The Voice of Idaho." Emry was arrested after an informant told authorities about his plans to bring in the machine gun; if he'd been successful, it would have been the most powerful weapon at Fort Dipshit. For self-defense purposes only, mind you, like if jackbooted federal thugs tried to retake the federal property. But since federal officers aren't really cops and the federal government isn't able to own property, blowing them away with a machine gun would have been fine, according to deranged self-taught legal experts.
Scott Willingham, one of the other
domestic terrorists patriots arrested after the end of the Bundy Liberty Camporee, told the Oregonian (after making very clear that he was NOT the informant who snitched on Emry) that Emry's "citizen journalist" work was only one of his many talents: he was also a valuable informal weapons consultant for the Prat Patrol:
Early in the occupation, he noted, Emry was set up in one of the small houses reserved for refuge employees when most occupiers shared sleeping quarters in a bunkhouse. He also said that he knows of one occupier who obtained an AK-47 semiautomatic rifle from Emry.
Back in 2004, Emry testified as a cooperating witness in a Tennessee trial that he had fabricated 66 illegal machine guns as well as a large bomb; he was never charged in that case because at the time he was doing the "being cooperative" thing. He also humbly described himself as the "Picasso of machine guns," which suggests his homebuilt weapons were inoperable cubist abstractions or he has very little knowledge of art history.
Lichvarcik testified at a May 23 hearing in Eugene that when Emry was arrested, FBI agents also found a blasting cap in his trailer, which Lichvarcik described as "a detonator for a bomb." The informant had also told authorities Emry claimed to have access to grenades and a large arsenal of other weapons.
He also talked of "shooting police officers and how a .50 cal would penetrate the side of a police car and a Kevlar vest," according to Lichvarcik.
The prosecutor said Emry was overheard on a phone call saying he knew the informant's identity and made what appeared to be a threatening remark.
"The confidential witness believes that Emry's conduct since being arrested is putting his or her life in danger," Lichvarcik said.
Sounds like a patriot to us, all right! Emry's attorney, Mark Spence, said the confidential informant had been unreliable in previous cases and shouldn't be believed. Yr Wonket is not a lawyer and is generally not crazy about the use of criminal informants as witnesses, but we'd also note that whatever character flaws this one may have had, that heavy machine gun is a fairly solid piece of evidence. Several defense witnesses said Emry was a very nice man who never caused any trouble and all, and hoped he'd be released before trial so he could help his dear wife prepare for having to be all alone when he goes off to do time as a political prisoner.
Why is jail so much like jail?
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.