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You Will Never Guess CNN’s Double-Secret Source About Romney’s Taxes

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It's good to be Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid. Sure, all the establishment whiners are like, OH, HOW RUDE, Harry Reid is positing terrible things about poor Mittens Romney, who has no possible way to clear himself of Harry Reid's terrible charges! Worse, Reid refuses to say who his source is, and we ALL KNOW you are always supposed to give up your source, immediately, because that is how sources work! Jon Stewart especially, in his role as Defender of Civility and the Faith, is most dismayed by the Ethics of it all. But, hrrrm, now CNN's Dana Bash is doubling down in defense of Harry of the Mighty Balls, with her own source, who also knows the source, and who says if we knew the source we would all be like DAYUMM, yeah, that source WOULD be in a position to know that Mitt Romney, despite his heated avowals that he has paid taxes and a lot of them every year forever, could actually have been telling the truth and lying at the same time, because he never said "income" tax. Haha, gotcha stupid media. Where were we? Yes, Dana Bash says that her source says that the first source is like a super famous person or something that we would all know, and who would know. Here, since the HuffPo video player is being rather cunty, is a transcript:


Bash: But I did speak, I just have to tell you, that I did speak to one source who’s very close to Senator Reid who claims to also know who this Bain investor is that Reid spoke with, and insists that this is a credible person and this person if we knew the name we would understand that they would have the authority and the ability to know about Romney’s tax returns. Whether we’ll find it out ever, who knows. But they’re doing this on purpose so that this is the discussion.

Which can mean only one thing:

the source is Ann Romney. You guys, it was staring you in the face THE WHOLE TIME. (And by "it," we mean "Ann Romney's nipple.")

[Fuck you, HuffPo, guess we have to link to PoliticsUSA]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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If there is one thing that decrepit "rocker" Ted Nugent hates, it is gun-free zones. Over the years, he has insisted that they are very dangerous and pretty much the number one cause of mass shootings. They caused Columbine and mean "more body bags" and "more crime" and even "workplace violence"! They are "killing fields"! THEY ARE ALL THE BAD THINGS!

You see where we're going with this right?

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Oh hey, Maria Butina the Russian spy lady, you are still in jail!

Butina, who was arrested Sunday for being a Russian spy who infiltrated the NRA in order to infiltrate the GOP for her motherland, is supposed to appear in court this afternoon, and in advance of that, prosecutors have filed a really fun motion listing all the reasons Butina should be required to STAY IN JAIL until her trial, at which point she will be found guilty as a common Paul Manafort and have to go to so much more jail. In short, it is because she is a major flight risk, but the document is a much better read than that, and it has boning. Shall we give it a look?

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