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Yes really she made this face.


UH OH, here comes Sen. Elizabeth Warren, smashing Donald Trump's nutz with a mallet and a gavel and an anvil and some rocks, the way she always does lately! She spoke to the Massachusetts Democratic Party State Convention, and YOU BET it was glorious. For real, YOU BET, because Warren says "You bet!" a million times in this speech.

Press play on the video so you can see Trump get YOU BETTED a million times by Warren. We guess that is her way of saying YA BURNT!

Did you watch the video? Ugh, do you ever? OK, here are some quick highlights, so you don't feel like A Idiot when you are discussing the latest Elizabeth Warren smackdown speeches with Fran at the watercooler at your office:

The Best Goddamn Quote In The Whole Thing:

When he gets called out by his own former students, or by his own employees ... what does Trump do at that point? Does he man up and take his licks? Does he offer people their money back? No! No, no. He whines about the press, he whimpers about the students, and he complains that the judge doesn't like him. Well Donald, it's time to stop sniveling and put on your big boy pants because this is what accountability feels like!

Bow down, all ye gathered at the feet of Queen Elizabeth of Massachusetts, BOW DOWN.

More Amazeballs Quotes, For Lazy-Asses Or People Who Aren't Allowed To Watch Elizabeth Warren Smash Trump Nutz At Work:

Did we mention you should watch this for yourself? You should. Really.

  • "Every day there is another story or another incident that completely disqualifies him from being president. Every day there is another piece of evidence that exposes this small, insecure money-grubber, who just doesn't care about anyone but himself."
  • "Rather than investing in high quality instructors and counselors [for the skeezy Trump University] Donald Trump put together an army of salespeople. It was like a used car dealership, except that's unfair to used car dealerships."
  • "Trump University failed, and that's no surprise. Think -- Trump Airlines; Trump Steaks; Trump Magazines; Trump Vodka; Trump Casinos; Trump Mortgage; Trump Games; Trump Travel; Trump Ice; Trump Network; Trump Radio Segment; and Trump New Media Company. Donald Trump is a proven businessman -- A PROVEN FAILURE."

Are you like jizzing in your bunk yet? Do we need to give you some privacy?

Here's a quote about how awesome the Democrats are, unlike that sad weenus loser boy Donald Trump:

I'm proud to be a Democrat in this election, proud of the debate that Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton have had. ... Proud that our party doesn't debate over who has the tiniest hands, or who can build the longest, tallest, STUPIDEST wall between here and Mexico. But let's be clear: This election isn't just about Trump's ugly racism, his disgusting sexism and his small ...

DID SHE SAY PENIS? No, she's not a fucking Republican. She said something different, but you have to watch the video to find out what it is, and all the other amazing things she said, also too.

Did She Make Fun Of Naked Former Senator Scott Brown For No Reason Too?

Yes, she did! If you'll remember, Liz Warren beat Scott Brown in Massachusetts, and then he tried to run for the Senate in New Hampshire and got his hard nipples handed to him there too, by a different Democrat. So Warren, before she launched into giving Trump the business, made fun of Brown for LOLs:

Neither Ed Markey nor I is up for re-election this year, and so far Scott Brown hasn't found another Senate race to lose ...

Aw, Lizzie, you warm our hearts!

For Real, Can She Be Hillary's Running Mate?

We dunno, ask Hillary! But that would be kinda cool! Or maybe Hillz will just create a new cabinet position for her, where all she has to do is smash Republican nutz!

OW OW OW, ALL THIS TALK OF NUTZ-SMASHING IS MAKING US HURT IN THE DOWN-THERES, STOP IT!

For real, we were just noticing that it was doing that to us too!

POST OVER.

[Elizabeth Warren Facebook via The New Civil Rights Movement]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Corey Stewart, the Minnesota transplant to Virginia who's made protecting "Confederate Heritage" a top issue in his campaign for the US Senate, accused a nosy New York Times reporter of breaking into the apartment of one of his aides. It's a terrific accusation, because while there's no evidence at all and the story makes no damn sense, that doesn't matter at all to people who'd vote for Corey Stewart. They already hate the evil media and know those nasty reporters are capable of all the depravity in the world.

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Hey, remember that hilarious time when Paul Ryan and Kevin McCarthy got caught on tape joking that LOL, Donald Trump and Congressman Dana Rohrabacher were totally on Putin's payroll? WaPo got the goods:

"There's two people I think Putin pays: Rohrabacher and Trump," McCarthy (R-Calif.) said, according to a recording of the June 15, 2016 exchange, which was listened to and verified by The Washington Post.

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher is a Californian Republican known in Congress as a fervent defender of Putin and Russia.House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) immediately interjected, stopping the conversation from further exploring McCarthy's assertion, and swore the Republicans present to secrecy.

It's funny 'cause it's true! ALLEGEDLY. Earlier this month, Congressman Lubyanka Rohrabacher told Fox reporter Elex Michaelson that DNC hack was obviously an inside job.

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