Young Barry Obama Totally Tried To Mack On His Best Friend's Main Squeeze, For Real

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Time has someEXCLUSIVE prom photos of a young and suavay B. Barry Bamz, so we will let you go on over there for your fapping, because EXCLUSIVE should mean something, dammit!


But we will pick up this photo, because PLAYER BARRY totally hitting on his best friend's girlfriend, WHUT? He is all you are so foxy let us totally bone while Greg is away, I will take you for a meal of the most erotic delights, basically. Let us read it, together, and imagine Young Beezy taking us away from our own dumb idiot boyfriends, who are dumb idiots!

Kelli,

It has been so nice getting to know you this year. You are extremely sweet and foxy1, I don't know why Greg would want to spend any time with me at all2! You really deserve better than clowns like us; you even laugh at my jokes3!

I hope we can keep in touch with each other this summer, even though Greg will be gone. Call me and I'll buy you lunch sometimes4.

Anyway, good luck in everything you do, and stay happy.

Your friend,

Love [heart]

Barry Obama

1 "Foxy" is a good word for letting a girl know you would be amenable to a bone. Like, when you are talking to California's Attorney General and you are all "hey foxy, what is up," and then she is like "LET'S FUCK!!!1!"

2 Just guessing, but "Greg" probably wants to spend time with you because he is your Pakistani gay-married husband.

3 This is not good feminism. Maybe you should laugh at her jokes, Barry! Did you ever think of that?

4 We don't really need to explain this one, right? You only buy a meal for a girl you are trying to bone.

Sorry Greg, but if that's your girlfriend she wasn't last night.

[Time]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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