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Bombastic semi-human dipshit Donald Trump has been telling his esteemed supporters lately all about how ISIS is going to "be in such trouble" when he's (LOL) president, and how he's the "most militaristic person in the room" -- all rooms, in fact. Even if he's in the room with the SEAL team that killed bin Laden, he's still the most militaristic motherfucker in the room, and everybody is like "Oh, Donald Trump, why do we feel like such pussies right now? All we did was killed the world's most wanted terrorist, but you made all those ugly hotels," and Trump says, "It's because you're weak," and then he gets on Twitter to do REAL WAR against an escaped Mexican drug lord and swears to "kick his ass!" Typical day for Trump.


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But guess what, and SURPRISE, Trump is a draft-dodging pussy. Here are some facts from a 2011 Smoking Gun investigation:

Selective Service records reveal that Trump, the fortunate son of a multimillionaire real estate baron, took repeated steps to avoid serving in Vietnam.

By the time his number (356) was drawn during the December 1, 1969 draft lottery, Trump had already received four student deferments and a medical deferment, according to military records on file with the National Archives and Records Administration. An extract of Trump’s Selective Classification record ... was provided in response to a TSG records request.

In fact, the December 1969 draft lottery occurred about 18 months after Trump graduated from the University of Pennsylvania, where he studied business at the Wharton School. So, while claiming that he would “never forget” being at Wharton watching the draft numbers being drawn, ... Trump seems to have misremembered, as candidates are fond of saying.

Trump's last get-out-of-draft-free card, in 1968, was different from the others, in that he was out of school, and also in that it was a 1-Y classification, which listed him as fit to be drafted “only in time of national emergency.” In other words, a medical deferment, according to a 1992 Trump biography. We don't know what medical issues he was having then, but maybe that's when that thing with his hair started.

Anyhow, we're still all excited to hear about Trump's extra secret, super tough guy plans to murder ISIS dead, since his "militaristic" experience hosting reality shows and doing Twitter wars surely makes him the only candidate "militaristic" enough for the job.

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On second thought, maybe Trump thinks "militaristic" is a synonym for "dumb pompous asshole whom everybody laughs at," in which case, he's correct. He is ALWAYS the most "militaristic" person in the room.

[Little Green Footballs / The Smoking Gun via AddictingInfo]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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If you want to take the pulse of the nation, with regards to feminism and how people feel about it, who do you go to? Well, if you are Brian Kilmeade of Fox News, you go to Tomi Lahren. Last night, these two geniuses discussed a recent poll conducted by Refinery29 and CBS News showing that only 46% of millennial women consider themselves feminists. Tomi Lahren knows why that is, and it's because feminists refuse to embrace Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Obviously.

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It's still Omarosa week! Aren't you glad it's still Omarosa week and that we still get to talk about Omarosa a lot more????

No?

OK, us neither. There are a couple things we need to point out though. One is that the Trump campaign's lawsuit against Omarosa for breaking the terms of an unenforceable nondisclosure agreement is HORSESHIT. We'll lawsplain that at you later today. Another is that it really is super fucked up, and entirely expected, that Trump called Omarosa a "dog." He probably wanted to call her a bitch and thinks he behaved himself by using the word "dog." Sarah Huckabee Sanders cannot guarantee we will never hear the president on tape using the N-word, because she absolutely knows it almost 100% certainly happened.

Those are some things about our current Week Of Omarosa.

But wait, here's another thing!

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