Your Boyfriend Emmanuel Macron Just Got Up In Putin's Grill Like 'YEAH BRO, WHAT YOU GONNA DO?'

Right: Hot. Left: Not.

Uh oh! New hot president of France Emmanuel Macron came here to FIGHT! Macron hosted Russian/American president Vladimir Putin in France for some kind of nice "relationship reset" meeting, according to the Washington Post, because Putin is a totally bad boyfriend to all countries, and they have to have these meetings once in a while. Obama tried it, and then Hillary Clinton made Putin all mad by saying his elections were fake, so the reset didn't work and Putin hated Hillary forever and ever and used all the resources at his disposal to make sure she wasn't elected U.S. president in 2016.

And Macron probably will have to watch his back now, because instead of standing next to Putin in their joint press conference and saying, "Putin is the nicest man, now I see why Donald Trump finds his Down Theres so delicious," he laid right into Putin's face with sick burns about Putin's fake propaganda "news media," which said many lies about Macron during his presidential campaign:

I have always had an exemplary relationship with foreign journalists, provided that they are journalists. [...] When news outlets spread despicable lies, they are no longer journalists. They are organs of influence. Russia Today and Sputnik were organs of influence during this campaign which, on several occasions, told lies about my persona and my campaign. And therefore I considered, and I confirm it to you, that they did not belong in my campaign headquarters.

[...] [I]t was grave that foreign news outlets, under whatever influence ... interfered by spreading grave lies in a democratic campaign. And I will yield nothing on this. Nothing, madam.


So let's set things straight, but Russia Today and Sputnik did not act as news outlets and journalists, but they acted as organs of influence, of propaganda, and of deceptive propaganda. It's that simple.

WHOA SHOTS FIRED. Of course, Macron didn't say the English words above, because he is a foreign French, so he was talking shit about Putin to Putin's face IN THE LANGUAGE OF ROMANCE.

Remember that Putin was a big backer of Macron's opponent, the racist bigot bad lady Marine Le Pen, who lost to sexxxy Macron by approximately one billion percentage points. This is obviously disappointing to Putin, since he tried to pull some of the same dirty tricks in the French election that he did in America's election. And Emmanuel Macron is NOT. HAVING. IT.

But that wasn't all Macron pushed Putin on, right to his face. He told Putin that France isn't very happy about the campaign against LGBT people in Chechnya (by "campaign," we mean cold murdering them), and he held firm to the West's position on Syrian leader Bashar al-Assad using chemical weapons on his own people, and also the need to eradicate ISIS, two things Putin's not all that keen on.

The Daily Beast reports on Little Vladimir's reaction to all this:

Which is not to say that Macron was undiplomatic. At every turn — almost — he offered a way for Putin to save face by saying that where they differed there is nonetheless a continuing conversation. [...]

Putin clearly was chafing as he listened, and also when he spoke. [...]

Once reporters started asking questions, the scene heated up. “Meddling in elections?” Putin declared that he and Macron hadn’t spoken about that and Macron was not interested, “So as far as I am concerned the question doesn’t exist.” To which Macron made it clear that they had indeed spoken about that issue two weeks ago, and “moving ahead” does not mean he has forgotten for a moment what went on. [...]

But what Putin could not get around was the fact that he had in fact very publicly backed a loser [Le Pen], his cyber-agents of one description and another had hacked the winner, and he and his policies had failed spectacularly — at least in France.

How weak and sad, like a common Trump!

Speaking of Trump, this Macron-Putin meeting comes on the heels of Macron COMPLETELY winning a handshaking contest with Trump. The only problem with that was that, after becoming King Of Handshakes, Macron actually TALKED about winning Handshake Club, and we all know the first rule of Handshake Club is that you do not talk about winning Handshake Club. Like come on dude, we know you are brand new at being the second hottest world leader in the world, but would Justin Trudeau beat Donald Trump at handshakes and then brag about it? No he would not, because he already beat Trump at handshakes, and he did not brag about it.

But everything else about Macron is awesome, and that is why he is your new boyfriend now.

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[Washington Post / The Daily Beast]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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