Your Daily Vegetables: Vox Is Here To Explainer At You 'What Is Marijuana?'
Some time ago, wunderkind Ezra Klein (a "wunderkind" is from the German for "wonder" and "kind," and means "a wonderfully kind person") announced his wunderkind explainer website, Vox, and how it would explain and explain and explain and explain and explain. For some reason, this was considered more worthy of many millions of clams ("clams," a slang term for "money," is also known as "bread," "loot," "moolah," "filthy lucre," "whore diamonds" and "shekels," if you are a racist) than was the "explanatory journalism" provided by our own DDM and Snipy, probably because DDM and Snipy just lie all the time. Klein explainered that, in newsrooms, important stories are often referred to as"the vegetables," meaning "a thing you do not want," which was a surprise to everyone who has ever worked in a newsroom, both because most newsrooms are not staffed by four-year-olds (in 1938, communist socialist Kenyan impostor Franklin Delano Roosevelt signed the "Fair Labor Act of 1938," banning four-year-olds from performing dangerous work like "bantering with Rosalind Russell"), and because that is bullshit. Also, we would make a Terri Schiavo joke here, but we hate it when we get boycotted. (A "boycott" is a thing that is against the "law" when gay people do it, but is not against the "law," as set forth in "the Constitution," when non-gay people do it to your Wonket.)
What are Ezra Klein and Vox explainering for us today? How about a little thing called "What is marijuana for $200, Alex?"
What is marijuana?
Marijuana — also known as pot, weed, or cannabis — is the most commonly used illegal drug in the United States. Marijuana is a psychoactive drug, meaning it's a chemical substance that affects behavior and mood.
The major psychoactive ingredient in marijuana is THC (that's short for tetrahydrocannabinol). Although effects vary from person to person, marijuana consumption is typically associated with euphoria, giddiness, relaxation, heightened sensations, and increased appetite. That likely explains why marijuana users often report increased enjoyment from food and music.
Marijuana remains illegal in most of the United States. The Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) classifies marijuana as a Schedule 1 drug, the strictest possible classification in the agency's system. The classification means the DEA perceives marijuana as more dangerous than Schedule 2 drugs like cocaine and meth, and therefore enforces stricter regulations on marijuana than Schedule 2, 3, 4, and 5 drugs.
There, now you will not have to go to a cocktail party with your fellow grownups and ask them "what is marijuana?" when they offer you some marijuana, because of how you are a space alien from outer space who does not know what marijuana is.
We do identify a possible problem in this "explanatory journalism vegetable medley" though, and that is if someone does not know what marijuana is, are we sure they understand the words "drug," "chemical," "substance," "behavior," "mood," and "legal"?
Maybe we should let Richard Thornburgh explainer about that.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.