Your Gentle Monthly Reminder To PONY THE FUCK UP TO YR WONKETTE, SONS
Hi! Me again! The Wonkette publisher and editrix and owner and YR MOM OF YOU. Remember like three months ago I said well, it is time to DQ all these ads and murder them with fire, because this is some fucked up nonsense these ads, they take over your browser, and they probably malware you, and they DEFINITELY track your shit all over the universe, that seems to be pretty much the whole purpose of ads today. And they're NOT EVEN PAYING ME MONEY TO DO SO.
Well, it is time to remind you that because we have no ads and are 100 percent reader-supported then FUCK YOU GIVE ME MONEY!
Where else can you learn about all of the Trump things and not even want to kill yourself after? NOWHERE, that is where! Wonkette is the only website in the WHOLE WORLD that ... no, that's it. Wonkette is the only website in the WHOLE WORLD.
We learned a fun new statistic about our site's readers this week, and that is that about one percent of you visit more than 30 times a month. You are considered "fanatics," and are responsible for fully a quarter of our site's visits. MATH, that means about 8,000 or 9,000 of you a month (out of a total readership of 800,000 or 900,000 a month, most of whom come once and are like HMMMM PERHAPS THIS IS NOT THE WEBSITE FOR ME!) are our SUPERFANS. AND YET. Only about three thousand of you a month are GIVING US MONEY. That is (math again!) only ONE OUT OF THREE.
Well, now is the time to fix that. Go get your wallet. We'll wait right here.
We got babies and Evan and Dok and (part-time) Robyn to feed, y'all. And servers and Wonkebagos and MANY SPENSES. And we're bringing you even MORE good new writers you already love, like Five Dollar Feminist and killermartinis, because we, like you, have SUCH EXCELLENT TASTE.
Now. You can throw us a buck or a hundred in that little clickie thing below, where it says "donate." But what we really need you to do is make a recurring donation, every month, right from your tap, or what happens when Trump forgets to suck one month and everyone forgets to send us their ragebucks?
To make a recurring donation, you go here. You can do it with Paypal, or with Amazon, or just with a credit card, and payments are safe and secure.
Our readers should be signing up at least as often as TPM's readers. Or the fans of those "dirtbag left" dudes with the podcast whose listeners are sending them almost DOUBLE WONKETTE'S MONEY to sit around and bitch about liberals once a damn week. Or ... I don't know, the only other people I can think of who are putting their money where other people's mouths are are the poor fleeced sheep financing the golden jets of those terrible "prosperity" gospeleers, and we don't want you to be fleeced OR a sheeple, fleecing sheeple (and golden jets) is not our bag, man.
We prefer to drive.
Thank you for reading Wonkette, you generous lover of goodness and light and yelling FUCK YOU TO POWER, or whoever needs a good FUCK YOU.
We love you real good.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.