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Your Valentine's Nice Time, In Which We Are Nice To Really Really Grody Folks For Really No Reason At All

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We know you Wonkers are a persnickety lot, and man are you good at hate! But let's take a moment to give a Malbec-soaked shout-out to some people we hate while remembering their common humanity.


Wait! Where'd you go???

First up, Mittens Romney and his wife, the Lady Egg, became grandparents again for the 20th time. Mazel tov, Mittens and Egg, and may all your grandchildren move to kibbutzes!

Second up, notably sane and not all bigoted Victoria Jackson shares a video of her lover -- CLICK! -- and though we could only watch one and a half minutes of it, her husband, Paul the Cop, is cute! And nervous! And EVERYONE deserves love, except for that fucking Baltimore Raven -- you know the one -- who jumped on Jeff Rich Gannon* feet-first after he was already down and ruined the Raiders FOR EVER.

No, but really, everyone DOES deserve love (except for that Raven, who should die old and alone), and ... oh fuck, yay we guess. Moar wine. Anyway, fucking BE NICE. (If you can.) Because we at Wonket are the sweetest, gentlest, most giving and generous people in the whole wide world. Everyone knows that.

*Fucking Malbec. What the hell is Jeff Gannon up to these days, anyway? Anybody wanna drop a dime?

[VicJackShow]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Florida's hand-counting of ballots is underway, and for all the Republican whining about Democrats trying to "steal" the elections for US Senate and governor (and floating insane conspiracy theories while they're at it), the recounts appear on track to confirm the results initially reported on election night: Florida's new governor will probably be Republican Rick DeSantis, and current governor and Voldemort impersonator Rick Scott will probably replace Democrat Bill Nelson in the US Senate. That doesn't necessarily mean anything is really settled, of course, because it's fucking Florida.

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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's first days in Congress have been a doozie. She's been "mistaken" for an intern or a spouse on multiple occasions, everyone's making up pretend fights that she's getting in with people she's not actually getting into fights with, and she's still somehow not performing poverty well enough to convince Fox News and other conservatives that she is not a secret billionaire.

On Wednesday, Fox News published an exposé on AOC and her vast riches -- showing that even though she said that it was going to be tough to afford an apartment in DC for the three months before she'd receive a salary, she was actually a fifteen thousandaire.

If she converted that $15K into pennies, she could probably swim in them, just like her fellow rich person Scrooge McDuck.

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