Your Weekly Top Ten Has Also Been Fired From Fox News For Showing Everybody Don Trump Jr.'s Dick
Oh hello, glorious Wonkers. Very sad news, as yr Wonkette showed everybody at Fox News Donald Trump Jr.'s "dick," and now we, like Kimberly Guilfoyle, no longer have a highly rated TV show on that network. SAD! ALLEGEDLY!
Just fooling, that is fake news. You can still see us on Fox News all the time. Over there, we are known as "Jeanine Pirro," which started as a ridiculous comedic impression of the most batshit wingnut we could think of, but then all the grannies and gramps who watch Fox News thought it was real and we are currently bathing in their money.
Dangit, that is still fake news.
Also that picture above is a current picture of Lula the Magic Dog. Please bow down to her authority.
Shall we count down the top ten stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé? Yes we shall:
4. What Kind Of Idiot (EVAN) Thought The Trump-Cohen Peener Payoff Tape Was BORING??? (IN MY FUCKING DEFENSE, I MUST NOTE THAT MY BACK HURT SO BAD THAT DAY THAT I DIDN'T FIND NONE O' Y'ALL SHIT INTERESTING, UP TO AND INCLUDING MICHAEL FUCKING COHEN. Anyway, good piece, FDF!)
So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!
OH HEY, one more thing. Know how Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you, like we mentioned above, and that's how we have salaries and servers and healthcare and liquor? If you want Wonkette to be here FOREVER, you gotta help us out, so won't you click here to do a $10 donation, or even better, a monthly subscription? WE LOVE YOU, YOU PAY OUR RENT.
Let's see ... anything else? Oh yeah, some toddler pics 4 U!
OK this post is over now, goodbye.
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