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Remember when we made our own fake Kickstarter, because the real Kickstarter did not think that going around the country throwing parties was "performance art"? (WHATEVER.) Well, we promised you many gifties, which we have yet to deliver, so let us tell you News about them, and announce who won the chance to decide where the bonus Drinky Thing would be!


Those of you who kicked in your Benjies: We are printing up your totes right now, from the saddest cheapest slave laboriest Internet purveyor we could find!

Those of you who gave twentieses, one of you got to choose a party place, and that person is Wonkette reader CHOW YUN FLAT, who CHOSE CHICAGO! Is January a good time to come to Chicago do you think? It is, right, we will love it? Hooray! (Haha, we are not coming to Chicago in January; maybe May?) We will also send all of you stickers, because how fair is it that people who gave a dollar got stickers and you did not?

Everybody, we will send you your shwag in September, like with the Big Rollers.

IN THE MEANTIME! We have a site for our Atlanta Drinky Thing; it will be at Manuel's Tavern (sorry, TTommy) on Sat., Sept. 1. We will get there early, like at six, to buy you your beers and fried things.

And to remind you, our Tampa party will presumably go off (if we are not still stuck in the Charlotte airport) on Tues., Aug. 27, at MacDinton's.

Stay tuned for updates on Charlotte, DC, Philly and New Yawk City. We will find some places and stuff, eventually. Mama's got shit to do. In the meantime, by all means, feel free to send more muneez. You guys aren't the cheap dates we assumed you'd be!

Rebecca Schoenkopf,

Editrix

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Fellow Wonkers, this last week of horror has been wearing on us all, because here we are in a world where the "president" of the United States has ordered that migrant children be taken away from their parents at the border, and is simultaneously proud of it (for his base) and cravenly blaming it on Democrats because even he knows it's morally reprehensible. But what the hell can we do about it, we are all keening, beyond calling our senators and representatives and posting sadness on Twitter, the latter of which is of dubious utility to anyone, and mostly depressing?

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There are perks to being the only Harvard professor willing to shill for the Bush League Mussolini. Everyone else has to haul ass to the Fox studio and sit for hair and makeup. Not Alan Dershowitz! He just parks his laptop in Pee Wee's playhouse and Skypes in that rant. Is he even wearing pants? We hope never to find out!

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