Michiganders Want To Vote On Abortion, But GOP Fascists Will Nip That Democracy In The Bud!

Here's a relatively stupid and cut-and-dried example of how Republicans in the United States are no longer an American political party, but rather an anti-American Christian extremist insurgency hellbent on destroying democracy any time it gets in the way of their unearned power. Always remember it's unearned. These white shithole people aren't the majority of anything, on earth or in heaven. And yet they want to impose their ignorance, their bigotry, their stupid religious beliefs on all the rest of us who don't want a fuckin' thing to do with it.

One might call these people "semi-fascists." And then others might say, "Oh Mister President, for heaven's sake, it's OK to call them a giant basket full of deplorable fuckin' fascists, Jesus Christ. That's like saying somebody is semi-pregnant!"

Which brings us to what has happened. Remember what happened in red state Kansas when voters got to vote on abortion? You heard what's been happening in every special congressional election since Samuel Alito declared himself the owner of the contents of the underpants of every person of child-bearing ability in America? Y'all hear Alaska is sending a damn Democrat to the Congress?

Well. Michigan voters wanted to vote on some abortion in November! You see, they have this bonkers undead 1931 abortion ban that was never repealed. It is not a thing Michiganders want. The law is currently blocked. The law needs to be pulverized to death with some kind of funny cartoon mallets like they have on "Looney Tunes" or something, or however it is you get rid of bad laws.

So a group called Reproductive Freedom For All collected signatures to get it on the ballot to amend the state constitution to ensure abortion remains legal. (That's one way to get rid of bad laws.) Indeed, they collected a record number of signatures. Michiganders really don't want this fucking abortion ban! And the elections bureau said yes, you have collected one gabillion (730,000) signatures, and this should be on the ballot.

At which point the Michigan Board of State Canvassers said fuck you, we are white Christian fascists and did we mention fuck you? Fuck you.

The vote on the four-member board was two to two, which sounds like a tie, except that the law says three out of four must agree to certify a ballot initiative. Two of the board members are Americans. The other two are members of the fascist insurgency. You already know who voted which way.

The spokesperson for the group that pushed the initiative sounds very "you had one job" about this, but is optimistic, because this is getting appealed to the state supreme court, which leans American.

Darci McConnell, a spokeswoman for Reproductive Freedom for All, the group backing the measure, said she remains confident.

“We had more than 730,000 people who read, signed and understood what they signed. The board was supposed to do one thing today and affirm that we had the signatures, their own bureau said we did. So we’re still optimistic that we’ll be on the ballot in November,” McConnell said.

There was another ballot initiative that got blocked, guess what it was, no you guess, no YOU guess! OK, spoiler alert, it was to expand voting access by allowing ballot dropboxes and a number of other things. Guess who on the canvassing board voted for that one and voted against it, no you guess, no YOU guess!

Anyway, that one's going to the state supreme court as well. Fingers crossed both of these initiatives will end up on November's ballot despite the fascists.

If "Michigan Board of State Canvassers" sounds familiar, that's because it played a certain role in stopping Donald Trump's Big Lie about the 2020 election he lost in its tracks. Of the two Republicans who were on the board in 2020, one voted to certify Joe Biden's election, one abstained from voting entirely. Both those Republicans are now gone. Democratic Governor Gretchen Whitmer tried her best to replace them with Republicans who weren't batshit, but apparently they're batshit enough to tell Michigan voters to get fucked if they decide they want to, you know, vote.

Such is the state of the modern Republican Party. This is what the fascism looks like. We have to pulverize it, like with some kind of funny cartoon mallets like they have on "Looney Tunes" or something, or however it is you get rid of the fascism.

(Votes, it is votes.)

For more on what's at stake for democratic integrity and basic American constitutional rights in Michigan in November's elections, here is an excellent thread.


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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