10 Summer Salads That Will Drive Him Wild In Bed! Tabs, Tues., June 25, 2024
And by 'wild' we mean 'bonkers,' because hey stop eating salad in bed, weirdo.
Good morning, how are you all today? Glad to hear it. Some news to read:
Oh weird, Donald Trump snuck on a secret trip to Mar-a-Lago like JUST RIGHT BEFORE the FBI raided the property to find all the classified documents he stole from the government? [ABC News]
Steve Bannon, who needs to go to prison, says the CNN debate between Biden and Trump is totally rigged. My goodness, they must be freaking out about how poorly Trump is going to do! [JoeMyGod]
Guess who’s going to live at the White House if Trump manages to steal the 2024 election? Not Melania. [Axios]
The lawsuits over the Ten Commandments law in Louisiana are beginning. [AP]
Sounds like wingnut GOP Rep. Troy Nehls should not be wearing the combat infantryman badge he proudly sports. [NOTUS]
Joe Biden is beating Donald Trump 61-38 among young voters. [CBS/YouGov]
Biden’s also ahead in 538’s polling averages now, so … panic, Nate Silver, panic! [Dan Pfeiffer]
Guess Julian Assange is getting a plea deal. [Washington Post]
How does Jordan Klepper keep MAGA garbage from kicking his ass when he interviews them and makes them look like idiots at Trump rallies? By being a tall, white man, and having security guards. [Daily Beast]
The seven best semiconductor ETFs to buy in 2024. What? You said you wanted our real tabs, the ones actually open in our browser. [US News & World Report]
The New York Times might not be much for journalism anymore, but whoa hey what about some SKILLET COOKIES? [New York Times]
Elon Musk’s breeding fetish just produced its 12th baby. [PageSix]
Speaking of breeding fetishes! Over at my little Friday newsletter spot, we discussed Chaya Raichik and Charlie Kirk’s promises/threats to “OUTBREED THE LEFT.” Regular newsletter here, audio version went up last night. [The Moral High Ground]
OK, that’s like 10 or 14 links, you must now read them all and write a one-page essay about what you’ve learned.
Goodbye!
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The unusual maned wolf in your hed gif today. Find our more about this unusual canine here: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/maned-wolf-is-not-really-a-wolf
So, my then-wife and I were going to an oneg shabbat potluck thing and wondering what we could contribute. I figured falafel was a good vegan option and I could make a bunch. My wife says that the rabbi loves falafel and she doesn't want to be embarrassed, so maybe don't make it if I can't do a really good job.
Sure, I say. And I go to work. I don't start out with raw fava beans, of course. Who does? But I use a fairly neutral mix, and add a little finely chopped parsley, some garlic, some ginger, a little coriander and a whack of paprika (it was pretty mild paprika, it needed a whack of it). Then I get out my 2nd best olive oil, since the best was only meant for eating raw, dipping bread into, that sort of thing, pour a shit ton into a 7" cast iron skillet and get to work frying.
Since I'm only cooking a few at a time to reduce the oil waste at the end, I'm at it for two and a half hours. But we get everything packaged up, go off to shabbat services, and have an absolutely lovely dinner. At one point we hear the rabbi -- then a couple tables away, but making the rounds -- asking who made the falafel, because it was amazing. I'm blushing quietly, but very happy, and squeeze my wife's hand. I didn't fuck up! Yay! Tonight I will very definitely not embarrass my wife!
Rabbi gets pointed our direction and she thanks us for the falafel, telling us it's so good it reminds her of the street falafel in Jerusalem and asks us what's our secret. My wife, generally the more talkative, says, "Oh, CD made it. It's just from a box."
And look, I'm not saying that I filed divorce papers that night, but if your arthritic spouse ever hovers over the kitchen stove for hours making ANYTHING for a potluck, you may wish to avoid the phrase, "It's just from a box."