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*HE ONLY GOT THIS BECAUSE HIS WIFE MESSED AROUND: * In a last-minute change, Chris "Tweety" Matthews has been enlisted to replace patriot Tony Snow as emcee at tonight's Washington Press Club Foundation Dinner. Is it too late to ask for some Wonkette tickets? Hopefully Matthews' Chinese Bus won't be get in an accident on the way over when Southern-speaking   Obama Boners clog up I-395. [ Shenanigans ]