2023's Scammiest Psychic Swindlers
Don't give your money to people who claim to have magic powers!
If there is one topic I keep meaning to yell more about, it is psychics — especially since it seems that TikTok has led to an incredible increase in the number of psychic scammers out there. Now, look, I’m not trying to bother people who feel that they have some sort of psychic ability. I like to think of myself as a “Whatever gets you through the day, so long as you’re not hurting anyone” kind of atheist. Although it’s probably best if we talk about other things because there’s no way for me to respond to any claims of witnessed paranormal activity without lying myself or making it sound like I think the other person is lying, or just saying “Oh, that’s interesting” on repeat.
Where I take issue, however, is with scam artists and people who take advantage of those in vulnerable positions — the grieving, the lonely, or families of missing people. Obviously it’s bad to take advantage of anyone, but come on.
Janet Russon
While not the usual type of scam, psychic Janet Russon’s association with disgraced Operation Underground Railroad founder Tim Ballard was still sketchy as hell — especially the part about how she was supposedly contacting dead Mormon prophets for help finding missing children (which she denied).
Theresa Sher Evans, AKA Tanya (Not Making That Up)
Houston psychic Theresa Sher Evans, who goes by the name Tanya like she’s Patty Hearst or something, bilked one woman out of $47,000 over three years. The victim initially found “Tanya” over social media and agreed to pay her $300 for a reading because, she told police, she was "going through a very difficult time in her life with issues stemming from money and a prior relationship."
Tanya told her that she had inherited a “dark energy” from her ancestors and that if she did not pay Tanya to rid her of it, she’d "remain single and unsuccessful forever, and her children would face the same problem."
Tanya explained that in order to get rid of this curse, she would need some items her love interest gave her and also a ton of money, to be returned later. So the victim gave her a bra, underwear and $36,000. But then the dark energy was just too strong, and instead of returning the money as she said she would, Tanya said she needed more. So the victim bought her $300 Ralph Lauren sheets and gave her mother (also a psychic!) a Louis Vuitton wallet with $8,000 inside. Then Tanya had the victim open credit cards at Neiman Marcus and Saks Fifth Avenue, so that she could buy what she needed to get rid of this “dark energy.” This, naturally, included a pair of Christian Louboutin boots.
Patrice Runner
This Canadian man scammed US citizens out of almost $200 million from 1994-2014, by sending letters purportedly from famous psychics to elderly people, which promised they’d “achieve great wealth and happiness with the psychic’s assistance, in exchange for payment of a fee” and then, if they paid up, bombarded them with dozens of other letters from other psychics.
Runner was convicted in the United States this year on 14 charges, “including conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud, eight counts of mail fraud, four counts of wire fraud and conspiracy to commit money laundering” and now faces up to 20 years in prison and the very high probability of being the subject of an upcoming Netflix documentary. (Which I will watch.)
Javier Milei, President Of Brazil
Yes, the new far-right ancap President of Brazil thinks he is a pet psychic. He communicates with his dead dog, whom he has also had cloned five times.
Hard to even know what to say after that, honestly.
Miss Crystal
One New Jersey victim, in a report to the Better Business Bureau’s Scam Tracker, told how Miss Crystal, a psychic they encountered during a particularly low point of the pandemic for them, scammed them out of $25,000 over the course of two years.
Crystal preyed on my sadness and weakness claiming I had a dark spirit attached to me that has been with me since childhood. She even claimed that I was "lucky to be alive" and insinuating that this spirit should've killed me a long time ago it was that evil. She promised to reunite me with my "twin flame" who I had recently broken up with. She instilled a fear into me yet gave me a ton of hope that if I just did what she said I would be free and would live happily ever after with my partner. She initially asked for 9000 dollars, 9 red roses, 9 white roses, and a black pillow case. This would all be taken back to her "alter" [sic] where she would start to perform a ritual that would free me from this darkness. She claimed that this money would never be used by that money is "power" and is needed to strengthen the ritual. Soon after it became that she needed more and more money for rituals and spells.
I think, at this point, it is safe to say that anyone talking about a “twin flame” is definitely looking to scam you.
That being said, this whole “Your whole family is cursed and the only way to remove the ‘dark energy’ is to give me piles of money which I will promise to give back to you” thing seems to happen a lot and should also be considered a pretty big sign that you are being scammed.
Thomas John, Seatbelt Psychic
Thomas John is, supposedly, a “world renowned medium” who has had multiple television shows, including one on Lifetime that was called “Seatbelt Psychic,” in which he picks up rideshare customers in his car and then gives them messages from their dead relatives. I don’t know how that isn’t a thing I made up, but I feel that way about a lot of the Lifetime movies I watch so I guess this tracks.
Someone, however, wrote into the Better Business Bureau to report that they had given John $250 for a reading that they never got.
Thomas John is a medium who has a pretty big following and a tv show. I learned about his newsletter from a tiktok he posted offering a contest for a free reading so I signed up. His newsletter goes out multiple times a day that offering all his services all over the country for various prices, some extremely expensive so I’m sure there are others who have been scammed. I signed up to receive a discounted reading advertised through his newsletter and the payment process concluded with saying someone would reach out to schedule my session. It has been almost 2 weeks and no one has reached out and no responses to my emails. This is absolutely terrible and he is praying [sic] on people who want to reconnect with loved ones.
I mean … let’s be real. There’s not a lot of difference between paying $250 to get a reading from a psychic and not paying $250 to get a reading from a psychic, if one’s goal is to reconnect with dead loved ones. It’s not happening either way. But it’s still gross to take someone’s money and not give them the nonsense you promised them.
It’s also not the first time this guy has been accused of fraud — Susan Gerbic of Skeptical Inquirer investigated him and found that many of the “passengers” on his show were actors with IMDB profiles and everything.
But One Thing Did Almost Make Me A Believer …
In 2010, during one of the greatest television events of all time, psychic medium Allison DuBois (the one the show “Medium,” starring Patricia Arquette, was based on) told Kyle Richards of “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” that after her children were grown, she and her husband Mauricio would have nothing in common and separate, adding, “He will never emotionally fulfill you. Know that.”
This year … that actually kind of happened. Now Mauricio is off having weird towel skiing sexy times with singer Anitta and YouTuber Lele Pons and getting photographed with influencer Alexandria Wolfe who honestly looks a lot like a young Kyle, while Kyle has been having a whole-ass Heavenly-Creatures-without-the-murder-part thing with country singer Morgan Wade.
I am always willing to admit that I could be wrong about stuff, although the Mauricio cheating rumors were around for years anyway so it could have been an easy guess.
That being said, even if there is a small chance that someone out there does have magic powers of some kind, it’s unlikely enough that spending your hard-earned money on this crap is not a thing that’s going to work out very well.
I don't know that Wonkette is a scam, per se, but I have noticed that of late we seem to be getting many fewer dick jokes than originally promised. If things get much more desperate, I'm going to have to date Lauren Boebert and cause some sort of scene at her son's wife's high school graduation or something.
And no one wants that, least of all me.
Chris and Dana have a gift subscription for the first person who emails me at rebecca at wonkette dot com!