Kayleigh McEnany's Sister Has New Dating App For Horny MAGA Losers, How Hot Is That?

NO PRONOUNS ALLOWED.

ON ANOTHER SUBJECT ENTIRELY ...

If you are Kayleigh McEnany's sister Ryann with two N's — what, why is that funny? — you might think this week is the absolute PERFECT time to roll out your new dating app for conservatives who just wanna fuck but don't want to have to say their pronouns to do it. People who are sick and tired of most of humanity looking at them like they're morons and/or monsters just because the only real thrills they get up their legs are from Jesus and Donald Trump, but not in that order, and mostly just from Trump.

Well HERE IT IS. It is calledThe Last ResortThe Right Stuff, and that is a play on words, do you get it, hey do you get it, hey do you get it, hey do you get it?

“Big news! Kayleigh McEnany’s sister Ryann is out with a new dating app for young conservatives called, ‘The Right Stuff.’ “We’re sorry that you’ve had to endure years of bad dates and wasted time with people who don’t see the world our way - the right way.””

— Ron Filipkowski 🇺🇦 (@Ron Filipkowski 🇺🇦) 1660169389 

This app was reportedly developed by Trump moron Johnny "Hot Johnny" McEntee, who isn't actually called that, we just nicknamed him that here at Wonkette because he's the rare Trumper who is actually bangable, presumably as long as he doesn't start talking about his political "philosophies." He is the shitshow who did all the loyalty tests for Trump during his purges. It's also full of Peter Thiel's money, lest you think dude is some sort of investment genius despite his other faults.

Let's listen and find out if we can meet our soulmate or even just a Stephen Miller-type bonezone pal, for when you want to get laid but also lost your copy of Hitler's collected works and were hoping whoever you went home with tonight might have one on the back of the terlet.

RYANN MCENANY: Hey guys! I'm Ryann! I've GOTTA tell you about something I'm SO excited to announce. A dating app for all of us conservatives. It's called The Right Stuff, and it's launching this September. What I love most about is that it's invite-only, so not just anyone can join.

Now don't go calling it an "exclusive club" until you see who it's restricted to, but this is nonetheless on brand. Also, remember they're only making it this way because young Trump Nazi types have a long history of bitching and moaning because everybody refuses to fuck them when they find out who they really are and what they believe.

MCENANY: First of all, it's free to use, and for my ladies, you'll never have to pay, because we all get premium subscriptions, for simply inviting a couple friends.

Gentlemen, if you want access to premium, that's on you.

And by the way, those are the only two options: ladies and gentlemen.

Tired of dating apps where you don't get the opportunity to resent and/or discriminate against people different from you while you're swiping left or right? Feel like you're not even allowed to fight the Fox News culture war inside your underpants these days?

McEnany goes on to explain that in order to get going on The Right Stuff, you build your "perfect profile, NO PRONOUNS NECESSARY." That's right, you don't even HAVE pronouns on this here Bumble Grinder for Young Deplorable Unfuckables. Don't go calling a lady "her" or a gentleman "he," because the Woke Police will show up at your door and ask if somebody ordered a pizza! (It is a whole roleplaying thing for conservatives, we just made it up, maybe Hot Johnny and Kayleigh McEnany's sister want to integrate it for some of those unpaid premium subscribers.)

Anyway, the rest of the ad just shows McEnany teaching us how to make a profile, like we're morons. It ends thus:

MCENANY: We're sorry that you've had to endure years of bad dates and wasted time with people that don't see the world our way, theright way.

In other words, we're sorry all these liberals and other people with a moral compass refuse to fuck you, even though you are white and feel entitled. Don't worry, once all the normal people are pulled out of the dating pool and it's just rightwing Trumpers left, it'll still be sexy and not just a bunch of Charlie Kirk wannabes sitting around trading pictures of their peenerdongs.

You betcha.

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