Discover more from Wonkette
Yes, Junior, Tell Us More About Which State Secrets Would Be SO COOL For Daddy To Steal!
The spawn are swimming about.
LEGAL BRAINTEASER: If Donald Trump Jr. decided to breathe heavy and act really needy for his father's love while he insisted that it would be SO AWESOME if his dad stole the nuclear codes and put them inside his armpits and took them to Mar-a-Lago, would that be a good defense of Daddy or a bad defense of Daddy?
TIME'S UP, he did it anyway:
“"If Donald Trump actually still had the nuclear codes, it'd probably be good." — Donald Trump Jr. with the latest Republican defense of Trump keeping classified documents at Mar-a-Lago”
— The Recount (@The Recount) 1661196986
The gist of what the sad, damaged boy was saying while campaigning for Matt Gaetz — yep — was that he thinks it would be GOOD if Daddy had the nuclear codes, because “Our enemies might actually be like, ‘okay, maybe let’s not mess with them,’ unlike when they look at Joe Biden and they say, ‘you know what, we should attack now.’" Uh huh, sure.
Of course, that's a strawman. The nuclear codes change all the time, and as this article explains, even the current president doesn't have the codes that actually make the weapons fire, but rather the codes that allow that order to be given. The ones that make the weapons fire are "kept on military bases and at the Pentagon." Trump definitely shoved his dumbest boy band of idiots in at the Pentagon after he lost the election, but we are skeptical those morons have the mental capacity to pull off that heist. We could be wrong!
Regardless, we think most people are a lot more curious/worried Trump might have stolen state nuclear secrets, with the intention of selling them to God knows whom. But we will make a note that if Junior is out there blabbing about "MY DADDY SHOULD HAVE THE NUCLEAR CODES!" it's always possible this is a fumbling attempt to move the goalposts yet again.
As JoeMyGod notes, the top of Drudge, at least as of this writing, is certainly interpreting it that way:
So that's neat.
Other Trump spawn and things that mate with Trump spawn have also been hitting the airwaves the last 24 hours. Here is Eric Trump saying the "whole country is revolting" over the raid on Mar-a-Lago.
“Eric on the motion filed today: “The raid is a farce. The whole country is revolting over it.””
— Ron Filipkowski 🇺🇦 (@Ron Filipkowski 🇺🇦) 1661221326
Tell us in the comments the stories about the revolts you are witnessing in your neighborhood, if you are not too busy personally revolting.
And because he's trying to sell his hilariously shitty book nobody wants to read, Jared Kushner is prairie-dogging out of whatever holes he's been hiding in. This morning on "Fox & Friends," he said he "wasn't familiar" with whatever state secrets his father-in-law stole (allegedly!), but this just reminds him of that time they met with the Russian ambassador during the 2016 transition for an "innocent meeting" and everybody went very crazy and "hyperventilated" for months and years, but then it turned out that whole Trump and Russia thing was a big nothing and they were totally innocent.
RIGHT? ISN'T THAT EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED? THE RUSSIA THING, WITH TRUMP AND RUSSIA, WAS A HOAX? (The Senate Intelligence Committee, then led by Republicans, did not seem to agree it was a big nothing or a hoax. )
“Steve Doocy: Why would the former president have that many classified things at Mar-a-Lago? Jared Kushner: So I'm not familiar with what exactly the contents were.”
— Aaron Rupar (@Aaron Rupar) 1661259048
Jared also told Mark Levin this weekend regarding the Mar-a-Lago raid that people are "manufacturing fabulous claims that get debunked shortly thereafter.” Plus the usual argle-bargle about how this is only happening because Trump "drives his enemies so crazy" blah blah blah. Is it still possible Jared or Ivanka are the mole? Of course it is!
It's probably to be expected that the spawn are everywhere right now, as last night was full of news dumps about what the government found at Mar-a-Lago. And every time more news drops about that, Donald Trump looks more and more terrible and criminal.
Wonkette has a full piece explaining all of it today, but the highlights are:
1) The New York Times reported that the government has so far retrieved more than 300 classified documents from Trump, between this month's search and its actions back in January. According to the Times 's sources, the stuff Trump turned over in January "included documents from the C.I.A., the National Security Agency and the F.B.I. spanning a variety of topics of national security interest." And it was some of those contents that freaked the feds out so much that a grand jury was convened and a criminal investigation commenced. Of the stuff the feds took away from Mar-a-Lago this month, 11 more sets were classified, and "[o]ne set had the highest level of classification, top secret/sensitive compartmented information."
So that's bad.
2) Late last night, because these morons can always be counted on to dickpunch themselves , Trump's favorite fake journalist John Solomon released a May 10 letter from National Archivist Debra Wall to Trump's lawyers. Solomon's intentions in releasing the letter were, um, unclear, but one thing catching people's attention is that it showed that in January, the National Archives recovered " more than 700 pages of classified documents , including 'special access program materials' — among the most highly classified secrets in government — in the 15 boxes recovered from Trump's Mar-a-Lago complex."
In other words, we are guessing Wonkette was right when we wrote just after the Mar-a-Lago search that it sure sounded like whatever Trump stole was very bad , based on his lawyers' hysteria trying to suggest that the FBI had planted it themselves.
So yes, Junior, please tell us more about how AWESOME it would be if Daddy stole X, Y and Z, and if you have any cool ideas about neat places your bestest daddy ever could hide-and-go-seek them for you and Eric to find at Mar-a-Lago, we are sure the feds would also like to hear those too!
[ New York Times ]
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here!
Have you heard that Wonkette DOES NOT EXIST without your donations? Please hear it now, and if you have ever enjoyed a Wonkette article, throw us some bucks, or better yet, SUBSCRIBE!