Florida Gov Ron DeSantis Best Top Cool Guy Just Like Tom Cruise In That Movie!
Florida Gov Ron DeSantis Best Top Cool Guy Just Like Tom Cruise In That Movie!
He’s not actually cool. He’s a big dumb dork.
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis debased himself for Donald Trump’s approval in a 2018 campaign ad. Now DeSantis is a potential rival for the 2024 Republican presidential nomination, so he humiliates himself as his own sorry excuse for a man. His reelection campaign dropped this pathetic campaign ad where DeSantis cosplays as Tom Cruise.
The ad, which I’m sure you can find somewhere on the Internet, opens at “Freedom Headquarters,” which is what DeSantis dares calls Florida after he’s spent the past four years snatching freedom from anyone who lives or thinks differently than he does.
THIS GUY! Hi, I'm Ron DeSantis, Passing Terrible Laws And Kidney Stones In Equal Measure
DeSantis dubs himself the “Top Gov” and trains his supporters on “fighting the corporate media.” He lists his fascist “rules of engagement,” which include “don’t fire unless fired upon.” That presumably means whenever a reporter asks DeSantis a question he doesn’t like, he can bully and berate them like a tiny tyrant.
DESANTIS: When they fire, you fire back with overwhelming force.
Then there’s some selectively edited clips of DeSantis “shooting down” the free press, whom he’s cast as just one of his many enemies.
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DeSantis boasts that he “never [backs] down from a fight,” and the example this wannabe despot gives is a woman reporter politely asking if she could complete her question and DeSantis smugly responding, “Are you gonna give a speech or ask a question?”
His third “rule of engagement” is “don’t accept their narrative.” Reality is whatever King Ron says it is. He shouts at a reporter, “Fake narrative! I just disabused you of the narrative and you don’t care about the facts!” and lectures another, “This is why people don’t trust people like you because you peddle false narratives.”
We get it. DeSantis is a belligerent asshole who berates the press — whose primary purpose in a free society is to hold the powerful accountable. He’s the literal governor who sleeps in a taxpayer-funded mansion while the average Florida reporter probably goes home to a nice bowl of Ramen noodles. He’s hardly the underdog in this “fight.”
There’s nothing in the ad about DeSantis’s actual performance as governor, which ranges from abysmal to despotic. Maybe later ads will brag about how DeSantis let COVID-19 run wild and how he retaliated against private businesses that offended him.
Folks have compared DeSantis's “Top Gov” stunt to Mike Dukakis running over his own presidential campaign in a tank. (In the alternate reality where Dukakis doesn’t get in that damn tank, George H.W. Bush doesn’t win and Clarence Thomas is never on the Supreme Court. Excuse me while I weep.)
“A brief history of candidates looking like total dorks. Dukakis in a tank. DeSantis in a plane.”
— Jason Selvig (@Jason Selvig) 1661226242
In fairness to the guy who somehow won the 1988 Democratic primary, Dukakis had given a speech at an M1 Abrams tank manufacturing plant in Sterling Heights, Michigan, when, as his son John Dukakis later explained, “somebody had the not great idea of putting my dad in a tank.” The rest is a quite tragic history.
DeSantis was never in the Air Force. During his second year at Harvard Law School, he was commissioned as an officer in the US Navy and assigned to the Navy Judge Advocate General's Corps. “JAG" was a CBS legal procedural, not a blockbuster action movie. If you want to know how little "action movie" JAG is, consider that Lindsey Graham is one too.
So DeSantis is a little confused. However, as someone in another Tom Cruise film said, “I like all you Navy boys. Every time we got to go someplace to fight, you fellows always give us a ride.”
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Compounding the many offenses in this ad is that Cruise was a stickler for COVID-19 protocols on the set of the latest Mission: Impossible. DeSantis can’t even wear a mask properly.
Seriously, fuck this guy.
[ Los Angeles Times / Washington Post ]
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