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If You Or A GOP Candidate You Love Thinks Kids Becoming Furries, Using Litterboxes At School, Seek Help
Neither of these candidates is likely to win, but that shouldn't make you feel any better.
We feel like it was mere months ago when if you wanted to hear a true story about children identifying as cats at school and demanding to use litterboxes at the front of the classroom, you had to find a Christian pastor who knew a Christian pastor who knew an elementary school furry, or maybe a teacher who is a furry who litterboxes in front of the students. Or at least a state-level lawmaker. It's real big on the local level, the stories about the children who are furries, who also demand that the tables in the cafeterias be lowered so they can eat at them like cats.
Or you had to ask Lauren Boebert. She knew about it.
Now we have Republican candidates for governors — of entire states! — telling the furry litterbox stories, and we just really don't know what this says for our continued #BeBest as a nation, but it can't be good.
Scott Jensen is the Republican nominee for governor of Minnesota, and, well, he's just heard things. Disturbing things. And so he asked his supporters about the things.
“But what about education?” Jensen said. “What are we doing to our kids? Why are we telling elementary kids that they get to choose their gender this week? Why do we have litter boxes in some of the school districts so kids can pee in them, because they identify as a furry? We’ve lost our minds. We’ve lost our minds.”
What about education, indeed.
Why do they make the kids choose a new gender every week?
Why are there all these litterboxes for the children to pee in at school, because the children are furries?
And why are none of the adults in the Republican Party able to distinguish obvious internet hoaxes from reality?
Why can none of them google "What is a furry?" and find out that it's A) it's not a kid thing and B) it's not something people "identify" as?
Why are school board members and school administrators having to answer questions about this?
Why do fact-checkers have to fact-check it?
Oh well, guess we'll never know why a political party full of people stupid enough to think Donald Trump won the last election is also full of people stupid enough to think children are using litterboxes at school as part of some kind of woke agenda.
Here's the lady running to be the GOP governor of Colorado, Heidi Ganahl. she is S-M-R-T.
“🧵: When I spoke with @heidiganahl this week, she doubled down on her comments that kids were identifying as cats in schools. On @KDVR, she said it was happening in Jefferson County. When I asked if she had any specific examples, Ganahl said, "many, many." #copolitics @KRDONC13”
— Spencer Soicher KRDO (@Spencer Soicher KRDO) 1664656374
Jefferson County is suburban Denver. This is what Ganahl says is happening there and throughout Colorado:
GANAHL: There is this REALLY WEIRD phenomenon that's happening in middle schools and high schools! It's actually been going on for a couple years! It's called FURRIES.
And kids, you know, kids are, they've gone through a really tough time, and they're struggling, so I have a lot of compassion for kids that are having, you know, difficulty right now, but schools tolerating kids dressing up as cats is not appropriate .
The interviewer asked if she had examples. "Many many!" she said. She said "ALL THE PARENTS" in the Denver metro are sending emails about the child furries.
This woman is on the University of Colorado Board of Regents.
Previously on the radio she said that “Not many people know that we have furries in Colorado schools."
“Have you heard about this story?” Ganahl asked [radio host Jimmy] Sengenberger. “Yeah, kids identifying as cats. It sounds absolutely ridiculous, but it’s happening all over Colorado and schools are tolerating it. It’s insane. What on earth are we doing? Knock it off, schools. Put your foot down. Like, stop it. Let’s get back to teaching basics and not allow this woke ideology, ideological stuff, infiltrate our schools. And it is happening here in Colorado. It’s why I moved from Boulder Valley to Douglas County, because it was happening in my kids schools four years ago.”
Not many people know about this, except everybody in the Denver metro knows about it, because they're emailing Heidi Ganahl, and Heidi Ganahl had to move from Boulder Valley to Douglas County four years ago because of all the furries in the schools.
So clearly the woman is a fucking idiot.
We wish we had some sort of advice for people with loved ones who truly believe schools are currently being invaded by child furries using litterboxes, but we doubt it's something either prayer or medical science can fix.
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