9 Types Of Glasses To Stock In Your Home Bar! Tabs, Mon., Jan. 8, 2024

Martha Stewart, that is ridiculous! Morning news roundup!

It’s the last day of CAT WEEK, which you won by getting to *so close* to 5000 paying subscribers that I had to give it to you! Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

So I feel like maybe Boeing shouldn’t get to ignore all safety regulations for the next two years, like it just requested before its plane came apart in the sky. Secretary Mayor Pete, I expect you will smile and tell them no. (Gift link Washington Post)

New York Times takes three reporters to write up Trump’s speech — I guess he gave a speech after Joe Biden’s humdinger in Valley Forge — and all they did, even though they said it was “brazen” and lies, was keep repeating all his lies. Amazing. Emptywheel catalogues the NYT’s and some other outlets’ shameful reactions. Jeff Tiedrich compares the two speeches; apparently Trump was rambling on about magnets and pants.

Oh, more than we already knew about January 6, Special Counsel Jack Smith? And “previously undisclosed details about former President Donald Trump's refusal to help stop the violent attack on the U.S. Capitol three years ago as he sat watching TV inside the White House” based on testimony from No. 1 Trump Licker Dan Scavino? Huh. (ABC News)

Supreme Court takes up Idaho’s abortion ban, and whether the feds can force ER’s to stabilize women — WHO ARE DYING — with an abortion. This is of course the same question that the Fifth Circuit just answered lol nahhhh. I say Amy Coney Barrett and possibly Kegs vote against killing women, but wtf do I know! (Talking Points Memo) They also take up the Trump-banning 14th Amendment. There’s a non-zero chance they rid themselves of that meddlesome president. (What, mama likes a longshot!) (CNN)

The Insurrectionist Clause? Who cares if it’s in “Constitution,” so’s the Emoluments Clause, and nobody did jack shit about that either. — Indignity

Learn a thing! A very extremely unpleasant thing, about the insurrectionists who stole South Carolina — and Black people’s freedom — after former abolitionist Rutherford B. Hayes traded away Reconstruction for the presidency. (SER’s substack)

Oh yeah no, you for sure tell the president if you are the Secretary of Defense and you’re in the ICU for three days after your mystery procedure goes wrong, and if you are the deputy filling in for the Secretary of Defense, you call the White House too. (Politico)

Jessica Valenti explains They Want Us Dead. This is the feeling I had on Election Night 2016 — how much they hated us, specifically — except it’s about they truly want us dead. In part:

There’s a reason that anti-choice groups have spent the last year and a half valorizing pregnant women who decline cancer treatment or other medical care. In part, they’re spreading these stories because they know maternal death rates are rising in the wake of Roe’s demise—they want to turn horror stories into martyrdom success stories. They need to make our deaths more palatable.

But this goes beyond political strategy: To them, women dying in pregnancy isn’t collateral damage—it’s just our job. If we were good mothers, we’d give up anything for our fetus, including our lives. Those who don’t fulfill that role deserve disdain and punishment. Think back to that 5th Circuit ruling, which said a law meant to protect a person’s life in an emergency situation “does not provide an unqualified right for the pregnant mother to abort her child.”

— Abortion Every Day

How on EARTH did it take Wayne LaPierre this long to resign from the NRA, only managing it now that he’s literally on trial for stealing all the dues from the country’s gunhumpers? (CNN) Wonkette LaPierre Grift Archives aqui! (Wonkette)

LOL the MI Republican Party voted 40-5 to you’re fired state chair lunaball Kristina Karamo 10 months before the election. Kristina Karamo does not accept! (Detroit Free Press) It goes on and on, it’s hilarious. This part just makes me happy: “Just before the 2018 election, the GOP controlled both chambers of the state Legislature plus the offices of governor, attorney general, and secretary of state. After the 2022 election, that full control was held by Michigan Democrats.” Yes of course I still take credit, for moving to Michigan!

Taylor Swift’s friends say she is all like WTF 5000-word New York Times op-ed wondering if she is the gay. (CNN) Reading it, it’s not nearly as invasive and gross as I’d assumed. But it reminds me only of this: The nutball culture warriors are absolutely right, Elsa is les as hell.

Those caves she’s walking through should have Georgia O’Keefe flowers on them. Or the giant ice dicks she knocks out of her way should. I love it so much.

Some of us who had rough upbringings are a little in love with the hardships we overcame and how it made us strong, and we sometimes bitch about soft kids. But what if “adversity isn’t worth the price of adversity”? I really like this piece from Noah Smith, starting with Keith Haring’s Unfinished Painting and going on from there. (NoahPinion)

NINE types of glasses? Is this like when that guy on Twitter said everybody should have 247 hand towels for guests? — Martha Stewart

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I just want to throw Wonkette some money!