A Zillion Fun Things To Do Near The DNC

Journos! Gays! Teachers! Cocktails! Make a new friend or lover!

Photo by Pedro Lastra on Unsplash

So you’re going to be in Chicago for the big democracy mating dance, and you simply don’t know what to do. Fear not! You can avoid the convention floor entirely and still do plenty of fun stuff that technically counts as “political activism” or whatever you tell your mail lady or proctologist when she asks if you did your civic duty this month.

The following rundown of activities should also provide a charming armchair travel experience for those of you sensible enough to stay far, far away from large crowds. I stuck to events happening on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, because it honestly got too overwhelming and this huge list of events has even more to offer!

Saturday, 8/17

What: DNC Media Welcome Party

Where: Navy Pier

Hosted by: 2024 Chicago Host Committee & DNC Committee

Time frame: Who the hell knows? Just show up and yell “STOP THE PRESSES!” until somebody pours whiskey down your throat or Bobby Redford encourages you to get a sleek ‘90s bob and asks you on a date.

Why you should go: Are you The Media? Do you have Media Credentials? Do you long to stare at Steve Kornacki’s khakis in person, perhaps on a Ferris wheel? Do you want to meet a tired scribe employed by one of our nation’s few remaining local newspapers? Do you like people who drink because their job is so fucking stressful? Hanging out with your fellow journos will surely be a time!

What: The Paper Machete

Where: The historic Green Mill Cocktail Lounge at 4802 North Broadway Avenue

Hosted by: Christopher Piatt

Time frame: Doors at 1 p.m.; show runs from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m.

Why you should go: It’s FREE and fabulous, a “live magazine” with great drinks on offer at a cash-only bar (there’s also an iconic waitress, Amy, who shall tell a joke as per weekly tradition). This former haunt of Al Capone is always packed with a warm local crowd ready to laugh at stand-up, marvel at interpretive dance, groove to live music, and hopefully chortle their asses off at ridiculous character pieces like the one I’m doing this very weekend! It is very political and very silly and I hope you come by early and grab a seat. I will probably be wearing a stupid hat thing. (Sufjan Stevens will almost certainly not be there.)

What: Back to School Summer Jam

Where: Chicago Teachers Union Center at 1901 West Carroll Avenue

Hosted by: Chicago Teachers Union

Time frame: 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.

Why you should go: School is still, in fact, out for the summer. Chicago Public Schools will start a week later than usual due to the presence of the DNC. If you’re in town and you dig education, why not show up and randomly give teachers gift cards or flowers or conflict-free diamonds or whatever? Plus, they’re giving away 40,000 free books to kids, and providing health immunizations, haircuts, and much more.

What: DNC Convention LGBTQIA+ Welcoming Event

Where: Sidetrack at 3349 North Halsted Street

Hosted by: Chicago City Council LGBTQIA+ Caucus

Time frame: 6:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. and then you should go over to the Kit Kat Lounge because it’s fabulous and the drag show is a delight and the food is good.

Why you should go: Because the Alphabet Gang make everything better in general, obviously. Also, Chicago is the gayest place I’ve ever lived, and I’ve lived in NYC and Los Angeles. It is gay gay gay gay gay gay gay. But also full of straight allies (like Charli XCX, seen above, who will absolutely not be at this particular queer fiesta) and many kinds of beautiful underpants! What a treat.

Sunday, August 18

What: Wonkette Beer and Bacon and Hummus and Such

Where: Kaiser Tiger

Hosted by: Wonkette!

Time Frame: 5-7:30 p.m.

Why you should go: You are a Wonker! You are reading this! Rebecca is buying!

What: DNC Black Caucus Worship Service

Where: Apostolic Faith Church at 3823 South Indiana

Hosted by: DNC Black Caucus

Time frame: 6 p.m.

Why you should go: If you want to see an array of fantastic preachers and get a huge dose of inspiration while supporting Black Democratic candidates, this may be just the place for you. (Please note: Kirk Franklin is not slated to attend, but I decided this post needed some praise music, and this was my favorite Tiny Desk Home Concert during the height of the panny, so there you go.)

What: Brunch at Tweet, which turns into the lesbian bar Big Chicks at night

Where: Tweet in Edgewater/Uptown

Hosted by: Nobody specifically political, I just think you should go (bring cash, or use their ATMs)

Time frame: Tweet is open on Sunday from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.; Big Chicks is open from 4 p.m. to 10:30 p.m.

Why you should go: There’s at least one Diane Arbus photograph as well as a bunch of other fancy art you wouldn’t expect to find in a good ol’ fashioned Sapphic diner, but this is a beloved Chicago institution for a reason. It is tasty as fuck! You can walk over to the lakefront afterwards and take in the majesty of Lake Michigan, refreshingly far from the center of convention action. Also, you get a free piece of cake as an appetizer, and they’ll give you a gluten-free or dairy-free option if you want.

Monday, August 19

What: “War Game” movie screening

Where: Gene Siskel Film Center at 164 North State Street

Hosted by: Gene Siskel Film Center — order your tickets ASAP and get there early!

Time frame: 1 p.m. to 3 p.m.

Why you should go: “In the thrilling, hybrid documentary WAR GAME, a bipartisan group of United States defense, intelligence, and elected policymakers participate in an unscripted role-play exercise in which they consider the sobering possibility of a political coup backed by rogue members of the US military in the wake of a contested 2024 presidential election…Gripping, sobering, and perfectly timed…WAR GAME serves as an urgent warning and one of the scariest films you’ll see this year. Film Center exclusive.” There will be a post-screening dialogue featuring retired United States Army lieutenant colonel and former director for European Affairs for the United States National Security Council Alexander Vindman, former US Senator Heidi Heitkamp (D-ND), former US Senator Doug Jones (D-AL), and former Governor of Montana Steve Bullock.

What: Raise Our Culture, Raise the Wage

Where: Joe’s Bar on Weed Street at 940 West Weed Street

Hosted by: One Fair Wage — buy your tickets ASAP!

Time frame: Doors at 7 p.m., show at 8 p.m.

Why you should go: Join One Fair Wage Action and Black Voters Matter for a progressive mixer with performances from Estelle, Grapple, Raheem Devaughn, Futuristic, Michael Minelli, Oswin Benjamin, and more.

Remember, if you’re here and don’t want to do any of the aforementioned things, you can always wander the streets and yell at random passersby, “How ‘bout them Cubbies?” At some point, a person will respond with informed commentary, and you may or may not make a friend. Have fun and be careful! Drink enough water and wear your SPF! Try to get some sleep! Okay! See you soon!