Alina Habba Pretty Sure Client Going To Lose New York Trial, So That’s Some Lawyerin'

You get the legal representation you pay for, or promise to pay for.

Two avocados for 10 bucks (IYKYK)

This must be an example of the mad skills that led Donald Trump to pick Alina Habba out of the New Jersey Yellow Pages. Habba was on Newsmax last night with disturbing creeper man Greg Kelly, and she said:

“I don’t have hopes really that high at this moment that the New York courts will do the right thing, that the jury will do the right thing. We’re in a blue state, as you know, Greg. And I think everything’s by design. We’re in a case that was eight years old, over the statute of limitations, was denied by [former Manhattan District Attorney] Cy Vance, then brought only after President Trump decided he was going to run for office.”

She added, “It’s very troubling. We’re in the fight of our lives at the moment.”

Bless her heart. She doesn’t trust the jury, which must of course believe DA Alvin Bragg has proven his case in order to convict. They’re just in a blue state, after all, and we guess Habba skipped all the days of whatever traffic court clown college law school where they talked about Jury, How Does That Work? It is just rigged! Besides, Trump has these lawyers who are only faking smart, so we guess he can’t really count on any clever moves from them to save him.

We bet at least one of them (this one) will end up on “Dancing With The Stars” before this is all over, though!

Here’s that video:

So that’s appalling for a lawyer to say, even more appalling than the fact that Donald Trump’s shitty, pathetic lawyers seem to do nothing more than these right-wing TV hits, in order to soothe their big lonely dumbass client who’s back at home beached on his bed crying at the TV surrounded by stacks of printed out articles that say he’s innocent and lovable and not an object of global mockery and derision.

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Here’s a bonus clip for you, of host Greg Kelly having a real “Hands where we can see them, buddy” moment, telling Alina Habba how great she is, asking to see clips of her talking outside the courthouse, just generally slobbering out of all his visible orifices. “The whole package,” he calls her. “Even the fake news, they called it astoundingly confident!” (They did not, unless they meant they were astounded by how confident she is, since she’s so dumb.)

“There’s something kind of special happening in those moments,” said Kelly, with the lip-licking demeanor of a man who’s about to refill his tokens on Chaturbate. “I don’t know if you know what I’m talking about, I don’t know if it feels different, but it’s pretty damned impressive, and it seems to me like you’re moving the needle in who knows what kinds of ways!”

Greg Kelly really shouldn’t be talking about his “needle” while children are potentially in the room, that’s what we think. Also that we hope the Newsmax janitor who cleans the underside of his desk is paid well.

To end this post where it began, with Alina Habba being a normal and smart person you’d definitely want on your legal team, here is Habba apparently feuding with one of the MeidasTouch guys (?) by demonstrating that she is too much of a goddamned moron to cut an avocado.

“BREAKING for the Trollski’s,” she tweets, with emojis and an unnecessary apostrophe. “This is me eating avocado,” she says to Ron Filipkowski. “Happy Passover, everybody!” she says, somewhat angrily. “Ron, you little Trollski! Look, i’m not good at this either.”

Filipkowski had previously tweeted a video of her cutting celery poorly, which is by our count the third thing in this post she’s bad at.

At least nobody will accuse her of spending all this time prepping for trial.

[Mediaite / vids via Aaron Rupar]

Alina Habba Faking Smart Again

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Evan Hurst on Twitter right here. 

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