Alito Is Telllllling Us He's Not Recuuusing. Tabs, Thurs., May 30, 2024

Morning news roundup!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Alito is tellllling us he’s not recuuuuusing. (Tom Scocca at Indignity)

Professor Congressman Jamie Raskin says yuh huh, can too force Alito to recuse. You just have to … get the other justices to make him, LOL. (New York Times)

Hey remember (checks calendar) YESTERDAY when we learned about Aileen Cannon dragging her ass holding hearings on every jackshit motion from the Trump team? Well get a load of THESE!

PAPERLESS ORDER: In anticipation of the June 21, 2024, hearing on Defendant Trump's Motion to Dismiss the Indictment Based on the Unlawful Appointment and Funding of Special Counsel Jack Smith 326, the Special Counsel and Defendant Trump are directed as follows. On or before June 11, 2024, the parties shall separately file supplemental briefs, not to exceed 15 double-spaced pages (exclusive of title/certificates, etc.), on what impact, if any, the Supreme Court's decision in Consumer Financial Protection Bureau v. Community Financial Services Association of America, Ltd., 601 U.S. 416 (2024), has on Defendant Trump's Appropriations Clause challenge as raised in the Motion 326 . The parties' supplemental briefs also should clarify, in a separate section, what appears to be the position set forth in the parties' submissions--i.e., that no factual development is warranted or necessary to resolve either of the two challenges raised in the Motion, because the extent of the Special Counsel's authority and status is delimited and evaluated by the statutory and regulatory authorities cited in Appointment Order No. 5559-2022 (for purposes of the Appointments Clause challenge), and by that same Appointment Order and the cited Department of Justice Appropriations Act (for purposes of the Appropriations Clause challenge). The Court also authorizes (but does not require) the three already-approved amici 364 410 429 on the Motion--and only those amici--to file, by the June 11, 2024, deadline, supplemental briefs limited reasonably to the factual-development question raised above, not to exceed 10 double-spaced pages (exclusive of title/certificates, etc.). Signed by Judge Aileen M. Cannon on 5/29/2024. (jf01) (Entered: 05/29/2024)

Or if you’d prefer it in English: Remind me how Special Counsel Jack Smith’s appointment was “illegal,” people writing amicus briefs to Judge Aileen Cannon? Oh, some bullshit? K thx. (Law and Crime)

Elno wants to “advise” Trump on the border and shit, and Trump wants to let him. Two men so good at running stuff! The Great Man (no, the other Great Man) has also been dabbling in how to prevent voter fraud! Renaissance man! (Gift link Wall Street Journal)

Stephen Miller filed suit against a private company that had grant programs for Black people, women, veterans, the disabled, and everyone, for racially discriminating against a white truck driver. Federal judge thought not. (Houston Chronicle gift link) The company, Hello Alice, responded by opening a new grant program to tell Miller to get fucked. You could nominate Wonkette! Or anyone else! (Small business grant)

Anti-gay Texas Democrat state Rep. Shawn Thierry defeated two-to-one in the primary by pro-gay (and gay) Texas Democrat Lauren Simmons. Buh-bye. (Texas Tribune)

Pretty sure taking away five New College grads’ diplomas for booing billionaire Joe Ricketts at commencement does not “support and protect the right of free speech,” but I’m not a New College administrator or Ron DeSantis, so what the fuck do I know. (Herald Tribune)

PS: DeSantis is paying teachers $3000 to go to Christian Nationalist camp and calling it professional development in “civics.” (Friendly Atheist)

This is an enjoyable essay dunking on Vivek Ramaswamy trying to dunk on Buzzfeed. (Elizabeth Lopatto at The Verge)

Jenna Ellis says she was “wrong” to aid Stop the Steal as she loses her Colorado law license for three years. Has anybody seen any data on whether she actually believes it? (Mediaite)

Truly, TRULY, cannot believe we are still fighting about this in the year of our lord 2024, but yes, masks help protect you from airborne disease. (Study)

Also, we should be wearing masks during terrible Fire Times too. (Masks for Fires Canada)

Garrett Bucks may not have watched “Happy Days” as a child but I sure as fuck did. And I had no memory of this absolutely rousing clip where The Fonz solves racism. Yay the Fonz! (The White Pages) WHOOPS LINK FIXED!

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