We might be changing our minds about another presidential campaign by His Royalness Mittens Holstein Benghazi Dishwasher Romnibus XVIII, because it means at least 18 more months of stories like this. Are we really prepared for a year and a half or more of Mitt, his wife Egg, his advisers, and some combination of his sons Trick, Trunk, Glob, Shank, and Smudge claiming over and over that had we voted for the Borin’ Mormon in 2012, Islamic terrorists and Vladimir Putin would be spending their days dressing up like court jesters and dancing for His Majesty’s amusement in the White House East Room while Americans enjoy full employment and gas so cheap that oil companies pay them to fill up their cars?
NEW Dual-core Pentium Panderizers! See vote productivity skyrocket, as one core can be devoted full-time to generating convincing Anti-Poverty phrases, while the other focuses on realistic forehead creases, concern-frowns, and empathy-generating knowing nods!
so Mitts people have figured out that running for office is a great way to write off his travel expenses! And no more pesky 1099s for those 'speaking fees'! That's a donation to my MittPAC, sirrah, no need to tax that, or send it to my sheltered account in the Caymans! Another gift from Justice (worse than Taney) Roberts and Citizen's United, perpetual motion politicial grifting machines. Yea, that's American exceptionalism for you! All the jerb creators everywhere can run for office, all the time, forever! It's good for the bottom line AND our share price!
<blockquote>the former Massachusetts governor could now win a head-to-head matchup with President Obama</blockquote>
Cool! This is one extra dimension more than 12-dimensional chess stuff!
Look, he&#039;s totally going to win the not-being-President race because HE ALREADY WON, TWICE!!
Now that he&#039;s got Obama handicapped by that whole termed-out thing, Obama will be forced to Not-Be-President, anymore! Mitt&#039;s already run and done that one, SO SORRY NOT SORRY, See you at the Finish Line, Obama, where Mitt&#039;s been for ALL THIS TIME! (Simulated Laugh Out Loud Victory Sound!)
Plus, if Obama uses his time-travel powers to try to win this race to not-be-President, that means Mitt will have been President this whole time, maybe even TWICE!!
18 more months of Egg sneering &quot;you people&quot; and Mittbot&#039;s horrible laugh? Jesus, there isn&#039;t enough vodka in the world to make that bearable.
The GOP: party of fresh, new ideas.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
And magic underpants gnomes to boot!
NEW Dual-core Pentium Panderizers! See vote productivity skyrocket, as one core can be devoted full-time to generating convincing Anti-Poverty phrases, while the other focuses on realistic forehead creases, concern-frowns, and empathy-generating knowing nods!
so Mitts people have figured out that running for office is a great way to write off his travel expenses! And no more pesky 1099s for those &#039;speaking fees&#039;! That&#039;s a donation to my MittPAC, sirrah, no need to tax that, or send it to my sheltered account in the Caymans! Another gift from Justice (worse than Taney) Roberts and Citizen&#039;s United, perpetual motion politicial grifting machines. Yea, that&#039;s American exceptionalism for you! All the jerb creators everywhere can run for office, all the time, forever! It&#039;s good for the bottom line AND our share price!
/OFFS
<blockquote>the former Massachusetts governor could now win a head-to-head matchup with President Obama</blockquote>
Cool! This is one extra dimension more than 12-dimensional chess stuff!
Look, he&#039;s totally going to win the not-being-President race because HE ALREADY WON, TWICE!!
Now that he&#039;s got Obama handicapped by that whole termed-out thing, Obama will be forced to Not-Be-President, anymore! Mitt&#039;s already run and done that one, SO SORRY NOT SORRY, See you at the Finish Line, Obama, where Mitt&#039;s been for ALL THIS TIME! (Simulated Laugh Out Loud Victory Sound!)
Plus, if Obama uses his time-travel powers to try to win this race to not-be-President, that means Mitt will have been President this whole time, maybe even TWICE!!
IN_YOUR_FACE.EXE!!
If you like your jerb as a failed presidential candidate, you can keep your jerb as a failed presidential candidate.
You&#039;re welcome.
this pretty much sums up all of 2012.
jesus. i forgot that one.
Mitt is to Presidency as Charlie Brown is to football.
Yeah...
&quot;Hey Cowboys,
Questionable officiating in the waning moments of the game ended your playoff bid? Gee, that really sucks!
Signed,
The Detroit Lions&quot;
But make sure that you get the money up front. Cash only, no credit cards.
Mitt&#039;s anti-poverty plan is simple; inherit lots of money. Now quit being poor slackers.
Why, yes, Mitt, I do believe this country is going to hell in a handbasket. Because of people like you.
This is clearly an abusive relationship. Please don&#039;t make us Wonketeers abuse this stupid turdmuffin any more. Kthnxbai.
18 more months of Egg sneering &quot;you people&quot; and Mittbot&#039;s horrible laugh? Jesus, there isn&#039;t enough vodka in the world to make that bearable.
No shit! He needs to STFU AND GTFO!