And Verily Diddeth They Find Out. Tabs, Thurs., July 30, 2026
Morning news roundup! Things to read!
Good morning, it’s tabs time!
Let’s start with a Nice Times, as has been our habit now for two whole days in a row: Serpico’s 90 and still alive, and his mentee is NYC’s new sheriff in town! (Yes, New York City has a sheriff. And he’s ADORABLE.) (Gift link New York Times)
Elon Musk’s whole Turner Diaries-infused “hang the traitors” thing (he means race traitors, he means all of us) is grosser and scarier and ickier than you thought. The media should notice that more! (Gift link Jamelle Bouie New York Times)
Speaking of, why does Musk lie that no children were killed by his DOGE cuts to USAID? Because he wants us to understand that he’s lying but it doesn’t matter: No children were killed who matter to him. (The New Republic)
He should spend more time being mad about The Odyssey and less time killing children and threatening to hang us, except his Odyssey thing is ALSO about how we’re all race traitors, ugh. (Charlotte Clymer)
Wonkette needs you to keep us going, IF you are able!
The button below will take any amount of your choosing, one-time or monthly, at Paypal, or we have a Patreon too.
Also! A Venmo!
That was good of [J]eff [T]iedrich to watch Lindsey Graham’s funeral for us and also gif the moment when the dude behind Trump got a snootful of poop. ([T]iedrich)
Most Senate Democrats except for the usual good ones, in order to “honor Lindsey Graham” hahahahaha horck, just voted to give Trump vague tariff authority, supposedly for sanctions on Russia and Iran but in no way limited to that? Lol WTF. (The Hill)
Democrat and cutie (and nephew of Wonker Leslie) Sam Forstag might WIN for Congress in Montana? What a weird midterm cycle! (The New Republic Blue Book, scroll down)
Mona Charen’s THE DSA IS COMING bullshit is … oh I already said it’s bullshit? Right, that. (The Farce)
If you are an old in a nursing home, you have the right to vote! So Donald Trump rescinded a reminder to nursing home operators reminding them of that fact. Now why would he want to do that? (Brian Beutler)
Christian preachers proselytizing to the whole plane? OH NO THANK YOU. (Friendly Atheist)
From the comments, Meta and Newsmax joining up to create AI news is some real dystopian shit! (Newsmax)
Department of Justice fucked around, and verily diddeth it find out. (Our Liz at Public Notice)
Trump lawyers sued BBC and now whoops there is discovery. (Status Kuo)
But who will perform “Fairytale of New York” at Glen Hansard’s funeral?
WONKMEETS AHOY. CLEVELAND (Aug. 8), PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), SAN FRANCISCO IN HONOR OF FUKUI (Aug. 21), WINDSOR, MASS (camp near but not at Paul and Holly’s, Labor Day weekend)! Atlanta has been postponed. TIME TO PARTY!
We really do need you to send Wonkette to all your friends!
Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. Here’s our Bookshop affiliate link, when you buy books, Wonkette gets 10 percent. You can search any old book from that page and it will count. Buy all the books!
I will never stop using all the different colored texts, I LOVE THEM!
Your hed gif info: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/hunt-interrupted
And meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/9654cd55-7dc3-4799-a308-2250549079a3
I had no idea that Serpico was a real person and not just an Al Pacino character. I know, I know... but in the 70's I was still a not-very-politically-aware youth.