We want to underscore and underline some things for reporters from the New York Times and Politico and CNN and really honest to God whoever needs to hear it. Because we feel that here in the year of our Lord 2023, a lot of y’all still haven’t read a fucking book or taken the time to try to understand how to assess what is happening in American history right now, what Donald Trump’s goals for America are, should he seize power again, or what journalists’ role should be in reporting on that.
(Hint: It is not to hitch a ride on Chuck Todd’s remaining fart clouds, which rise high enough in the air that you can always see both sides.)
But listen, we do understand that it can be difficult for journalists to get the real 30,000-foot view, to recognize emerging patterns and trends. Covering the day-to-day horserace is hard! That’s why God put Wonkette on this earth, to connect the dots, to show the proverbial frog on its body where it is currently being boiled.
In that spirit, here are 12 or 25 stories from the last five goddamned minutes that really paint a picture when you put them all together:
BREAKING: Some new fucked-up shit from Axios.
This is scary. Axios reports on a behind-the-scenes effort by Trump’s wannabe Stasi to put together up to 54,000 people who could serve as loyal footsoldiers in a new administration, at all levels. We’ve heard about how he wants to fire all the civil servants. This is presumably who replaces them.
Former President Trump's allies are pre-screening the ideologies of thousands of potential foot soldiers, as part of an unprecedented operation to centralize and expand his power at every level of the U.S. government if he wins in 2024, officials involved in the effort tell Axios.
Why it matters: Hundreds of people are spending tens of millions of dollars to install a pre-vetted, pro-Trump army of up to 54,000 loyalists across government to rip off the restraints imposed on the previous 46 presidents.
We’ve been reading numerous articles lately how Trump wants to make sure he doesn’t get anybody in his Cabinet or in the Justice Department who’s loyal to America rather than to him. The Axios follows and builds upon the reporting that’s already come out.
He doesn’t want patriots. He wants pre-screened traitors. He feels that the great failing of his first term was that the government was so full of people unwilling to obey his illegal orders, unwilling to disregard the Constitution because his little weenus dick was upset that day.
He wants to use the Justice Department to attack his enemies, as retribution for those who are now holding him accountable for his decades-long crime spree and his attacks on the Republic. He wants to destroy all semblances of the United States as a functioning, free Western society and turn it into a fascist shithole state like his beloved Russia.
Reportedly, Oracle provided the AI that’s already helping to do some of the vetting. They’re mining people’s social media history. They’re making lists and checking them twice, trying to find out who’s … well, here are some Axios bullet points that explain:
Applicants are asked to “name one person, past or present, who has most influenced the development of your political philosophy” — and to do the same with a book.
Another query: “Name one living public policy figure whom you greatly admire and why.”
Does anybody who mentions Hitler get moved to the top of the pile?
Axios says Trump calls his plans for a second term “Agenda 47.” (And let’s be clear: a second Trump term would be the last presidential term in American history, at least as the way we’ve understood them up to this point.) The footsoldiers working on the outside are the Heritage Foundation’s “Project 2025,” which itself brings together a bunch of extremist organizations.
The reporting makes clear that if somebody else were to somehow get the Republican nomination, they’d be beneficiaries of all this vetting, but it’s really for Trump. Creepy ass Trump Nazi Stephen Miller has his paws all over it. Trump’s most loyal taint-smeller Johnny McEntee is a big adviser for Project 2025.
This is the grand plan.
Gee whiz, that New York Times about Trump wanting to deport tens of thousands of people or maybe just put them in concentration camps is scary too!
Did everybody read that Maggie Haberman special this weekend?
It says Trump wants to:
Bring back the Muslim ban!
Deport millions of people every year!
Without due process! (They have a plan for that!)
Build concentration camps!
Tell Congress to get fucked by stealing the money for stuff from the military budget!
Cancel visas for any students who participated in pro-Palestine protests!
Block people who disagree with Donald Trump from immigrating!
Fuck refugees!
End birthright citizenship!
Surprise, Stephen Miller’s dirty handprints are all over this too.
The Times notes that Trump has recently said that South American countries are emptying their “insane asylums” to send people across our borders. (In his diseased brain it’s like some transmogrified Batman world where the countryside is full of “insane asylums.”) He said illegal immigration is “poisoning the blood of our country.”
(But please, tell us more about you’re voting against Joe Biden because of how he’s responded to the very complex and difficult Israel-Hamas war!)
Gee whiz, wonder what Trump meant when he pledged to eradicate the ‘vermin’ from America this weekend!
You heard what he said in the Veterans Day speech. If you didn’t, it’s at that link!
Here’s the companion thing he wrote on Truth Social:
In honor of our great Veterans on Veteran's Day, we pledge to you that we will root out the Communists, Marxists, Fascists, and Radical Left Thugs that live like vermin within the confines of our Country, lie, steal, and cheat on Elections, and will do anything possible, whether legally or illegally, to destroy America, and the American Dream. The threat from outside forces is far less sinister, dangerous, and grave, than the threat from within. Despite the hatred and anger of the Radical Left Lunatics who want to destroy our Country, we will MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!
Golly, wonder what he means by all that.
Wonder what he means when he slurps on the nutsacks of Vladimir Putin, President Xi, Kim Jong-un and two-bit tyrants like Viktor Orban.
Wonder why he jizzes over his imaginary fantasyland version of Chinese history as he praises Mao for murdering all the drug dealers.
It’s a mystery wrapped in a conundrum, just kidding no it’s not.
Do your fucking jobs, journalists.
[Axios / New York Times]
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
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"Journalists" will be the first up against the wall. I wonder if they realize that.
Dear Mr President Trump,
I am writing to you with tears in my eyes to request a place in your administration. I have been embedded deeply undercover in the belly of the Librul Beast for decades and I know how these bastards think. Disregard all that librul dogma in my social media accounts, I was simply establishing my Leftist bona fides. We'd like to have you and the missus over for supper to discuss my appointment. Thank you for your consideration.
Yours in MAGA,
HarryButtle