618 Comments
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Doktor Zoom's avatar

Whoops, forgot to change the category for the apres-noon news roundup newletter from "Wonkette" to "Wonkette news one-a-day" so it was briefly up on the main site. The error has been rectified, and those responsible for sacking those who were sacked, have been sacked.

Edith Prickly's avatar

Fired yourself again, huh?

Craig Nixon's avatar

Onan Employment Services™ - our clients sack themselves.

Ganjaneer's avatar

You said sack. In Buttheads voice. Uh huh huh... Stop it Beavis.

Sojourner Truth's avatar

Evan Hurst may have the week off, but his dog Lula is still judging you.

tehbaddr's avatar

New doggo Little Ruby, and she can judge too!

tehbaddr's avatar

Like one big Sackathon. Much sacking, a sacking time was had by all, so much sacking you wouldn't believe it...

Craig Nixon's avatar

One Big Beautiful Sack.

Sojourner Truth's avatar

I think he fuked Sakui.

Craig Nixon's avatar

Unpossible. Fukui could survive nuclear winter.

Just like...ah, prob shouldn't go there...

WTAXF- NonSense Spouter TY!'s avatar

Provided there are no more escalators 🔥😅🤗💗💗💗😎

tehbaddr's avatar

Although responsible for innumerable transgressions against sanity, I don't think he was involved.

WTAXF- NonSense Spouter TY!'s avatar

Sanity overrated especially these days lols bonfire absurdities!

UVB-76's avatar

Just imagine how that would go. Timid, introverted Fukui would be crushed.

gallbladder's avatar

It would destroy the lad.

Skye Marthaler's avatar

You are now on double secret probation!

UVB-76's avatar

Heh-heh heh-heh.

Martin Shobe's avatar

I've heard that before. Sounds like the ones who sacked those responsible for sacking those who were sacked need to be sacked.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

I thought the doings at CERN were causing glitches in the universe again.

Bobathonic, Dingus Crusher's avatar

That could be happening also too.

Shocktreatment's avatar

I got a sack guy, if you need more sacks...

Bobathonic, Dingus Crusher's avatar

It doesn't show up on the app. Which is sad, since my stupid phone won't let me do anything but read Wonkette on the browser (when I tap the comments thing, it goes to the app). So now I'm defaulting to the app, and going "WHAR OPEN THREAD?" while tapping my foot.

Anyway, it's all clear now, whew.

Craig Nixon's avatar

Opioid pain med patients would like a word.

Bear: PROTECT THE AMERICUB's avatar

A møøse once got my sister addicted to søcial media...

vorpal 🚫♔'s avatar

døømscrølling møøse...

TerseNurse's avatar

No, really. My uncle ølaf was øn the cømputer for like three days straight and wouldn't even get up to use the tøilet...

vorpal 🚫♔'s avatar

but does Dok regret the error?

NO RAGRETS!

Paul Prothero's avatar

No ragerts, either

Cincinnatus's avatar

Ensackend.

paperlesstiger's avatar

Hybrid war requires hybrid propaganda.

𝘑𝘋 𝘝𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘮𝘴 𝘐𝘳𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘕𝘶𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘚𝘶𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘝𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘬.

https://xcancel.com/Megatron_ron/status/2037276954961883167#m

Lionel “8647” Hutz's avatar

The proven rapist Trump claimed that Iran gave him a huge present that had something to do with oil and gas.

Iran has announced they have set up a "toll booth" at the Strait of Hormuz.

I assume that Iran has offered him personally half the toll they will be charging, which would be the perfect Trumpian ending to this whole thing.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Hi wonkets. Here is your sort of evening Zelenskyy. There was a lot to choose from so I picked this one; there’s a lot more on the website of course https://www.president.gov.ua/en

tehbaddr's avatar

'A second phase of the trial, to begin in May, will determine whether Meta products constitute a “public nuisance”'

That should be easy, FaceBorg is a plague.

Larry Schmitt's avatar

Someone asked the asshole idiot about the hypocrisy of him voting by mail while bashing the entire idea of voting by mail. He said, "I don't appreciate the question. I'm the president."

Don't remind us.

tehbaddr's avatar

“The product is very good at connecting people with interests, and if your interest is little girls, it will be really good at connecting you with little girls,”

Tramp probably has a few accounts.

paul's avatar

Sometimes people can't pass things and require digital intervention.

The Estivating Hibernian's avatar

It's some early eighties fluff, and yet..

Cha Cha Loco. I think the ghost of Furry Caterwauling might agree.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTc_RQiG0Do

{reminds self to post Mambo Inn links}

Pope Scipio Newburyporticus's avatar

Ill say it. Social media is the target of a classic moral panic. Dime store novels, movies, pinball, comic books, rock and roll, Dungeons and Dragons... there's always something for moms to freak out over.

Georgiaburning's avatar

Trouble right here in River City!

Edith Prickly's avatar

OT - Ryan Coogler is rebooting The X-Files and the pilot script has been blessed by Gillian Anderson herself:

https://ca.news.yahoo.com/gillian-anderson-teases-x-files-120000439.html

G-7 in Space's avatar

She said, "fucking cool..." I love it when beautiful women curse...

nodak.   988 if you need help.'s avatar

god forbid they try a new IP instead of a 30 year old one.

eppe's avatar

They better get moving on it. The landmark city-owned "2400 Motel" that served as a location in so many past episodes is constantly being threatened with redevelopment.

Anarchy Pony's avatar

I have mixed feelings on this.

Euripides Pants's avatar

The loot is out there.

Parakeetist's avatar

I can't wait. I loved the first show.

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

Brilliant. Spend a ton of money rebooting a stale series premised on the idea that people Donald Trump would hire are succeeding in an elaborate conspiracy to conceal.

Edith Prickly's avatar

Go ahead, be a grouch. They discover that Riverdance was the result of not keeping the Irish-dancing vampire population under control.

G-7 in Space's avatar

No one on 'Interview with The Vampire' even discusses the OCD angle that 'X-Files' exposed...

Mr blob's avatar
17mEdited

80 billion is slightly more than the gdp of Venezuela. Zuckerberg changed the entire G-D name of his corporate entity to his now completely failed product. He suffered no actual consequences for such stupidity and in fact likely will remain CEO for life because his data collection machines remain profitable and capitalism is of course perfect, even though Facebook is responsible for at least one genocide in Myanmar.

Bankrupting these assholes is the least we can do.

Parakeetist's avatar

Ayep. Hear, hear. A true.

Kobayashi Marooned's avatar

OMG, I am sooooo stuffed! I ordered pressed duck (sorry, birb) from this Thai place I ordered from on one of my previous trips. Half a duck with steamed veggies, rice and choice of sauce on the side. I ordered the Thai basil sauce and it was so good. I scarfed down over half of it in one sitting.

Now I'm lounging on the bed sipping my iced Thai tea and putting off packing. 7AM flight tomorrow, so 4:00 wakeup is going to come awful early.

I'll die happy from overeating, I swear. May die unhappy from having to get up way too damn early tomorrow.

paul's avatar

A 3AM wakeup might be better since you might have to deal with ICE.

Parakeetist's avatar

Errybody gotta eat.