Blast Furnaces! Rocky Steps! Oprah! Gaga! Kamala Harris Has ALL THE ENERGY!

With the race down to the wire, it’s all eyes and feet on Pennsylvania.

It’s the last day of campaigning, can you even believe it? And that means both candidates are all over Pennsylvania like mayo on a Wawa (or Sheetz) hoagie, trying to get those 19 Electoral College votes that could slide them into victory like Gritty. It is possible for either Kamala Harris or Donald Trump to win without Pennsylvania, but much tougher, and statistically less likely. Feeling fidgety and want to game it out? You can play with 270toWin for hours!

So Scranton! Allentown! Reading! Pittsburgh! Philadelphia! Madam Vice President is doing ALL the things.

Trump started his day in Raleigh, North Carolina, because North Carolina polling has been teeter-tottering on a single point, and the turnout of nearly 10 percent more early-voting ladies than men has surely sent the campaign into a cold sweat. Then he’s going to Reading, Pennsylvania, and Pittsburgh, and finally to Michigan, for a rally in Grand Rapids. Will he make it without letting a racial slur slip out, or trying to deepthroat a mic stand? We shall see!

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From Mics To Polls, Trump Sure SEEMS Like He's Going Down

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But let’s talk about Mamala Kamala Harris’s joyful warrior day of magical guests instead! She started out in Old Handsome Joe Biden’s hometown of Scranton for a canvassing kickoff event.

Next, to Allentown, where Billy Joel was living and they were closing all the factories down, and restlessness was getting handed down. She’ll speak at a “Get Out the Vote” rally at Muhlenberg College with Fat Joe!

Then at about 2:00 p.m. Trump is in Taylor Swift’s hometown of Reading for a rally, with a bunch of “Women for Trump” in pink jackets.

Then at 6:00 p.m. Harris will be in Reading to have dinner at a Puerto Rican restaurant with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, which sounds like much more fun. (Will there be a Taylor Swift cameo in there somewhere? Would be wild!)

Then Trump will do his Pittsburgh scowling at the PPG Paints Arena, and Harris will be arriving in Pittsburgh just about the time Trump is leaving, so he can scowl at her from the window. Harris is holding herself a rally at the Carrie Blast Furnaces national historic site (capacity 1,500) with musical performances from Katy Perry, Andra Day, DJ Arie, Cole, and D-Nice. Nice!

And amazing choice of venue! Carrie Blast Furnaces is site of the now-closed Steel Homestead Steel Works, once owned by Andrew Carnegie. Its workers formed a union, and in 1882 Carnegie and his chairman, Henry Frick, were determined to break it. There were Pinkerton agents brought in on barges, gunfights, fistfights, a battle between the Pinkertons and nearly the entire town ending with seven workers and three Pinkertons dead, the National Guard being called in at Frick’s request, and finally the steelworkers’ union collapsing. You know, the kind of thing Trump fantasizes about all of the time.

Finally, at around 11:00 p.m. Harris will be in Philadelphia, for a rally on the steps of the Museum of Art that starts at 10:20 and has many dazzling guests! Pennsylvania governor Josh Shapiro! Oprah! She sure owes everybody some favors after unleashing Marianne Williamson and Phil McGraw on us. Lady Gaga! Ricky Martin! DJ Cassidy, the guy from the Democratic National Convention roll call, remember him? Fat Joe (he’s everywhere!), Freeway, Just Blaze, DJ Jazzy Jeff (!), the Roots (!!), Jazmine Sullivan, and Adam Blackstone. 

And then Harris will probably still have the energy to run up the steps like Sylvester Stallone, because she has no biological children, works out every morning and drinks water every day instead of a case of Diet Cokes. 

Can Harris win the Keystone State? Joe Biden won there by 1.2 percent in 2020, and Marist has Harris up two points, but, well, we shall see how swell Elon’s ground game turned out to be. Thanks to Pennsylvania Republicans, the state can’t start to count its mail-in or provisional ballots until election day. And they’ve got 1,790,319 of them to count, so far, which is about 20 percent of Pennsylvania’s 8.89 million total registered voters. So we might not see final results in Pennsylvania for a while, if things are close. The state will post its mail-in ballot totals at midnight, including how many are left uncounted. 

The suspense, it’ll be killing us! But whatever may come, you can’t say Harris doesn’t know how to round up powerful supporters and put on a dazzling show!

We’ll make you a livestream so you can watch them all later on. Or at least the Harris ones. You don’t want to watch the Trump rallies.

[NYMag]