Border Patrol Here To Arrest California Governor Or A Guy Delivering Strawberries, Whichever
Fuck them, they don't get to intimidate anybody.
California Gov. Gavin Newsom spoke Thursday at the Japanese American National Museum in Los Angeles, announcing the kickoff of a special election campaign to allow redistricting in California before next year’s midterms, in response to the Texas gerrymander demanded by Donald Trump. Newsom said, “These guys are not playing by any set of rules.”
He was talking about the Texas Lege and Donald Trump’s electoral power grab ahead of the midterms, but he could just as well have been talking about a Border Patrol raid that took place just outside the museum at the same time as Newsom’s speech.
The raid in LA’s Little Tokyo, by scores of Border Patrol agents equipped like they were about to storm a fortified terrorist stronghold, was led by Border Patrol Sector Chief Gregory Bovino. Bovino even had a statement prepared for the occasion, telling a local TV reporter, “We’re here making Los Angeles a safer place since we won’t have politicians that’ll do that, we do that ourselves. We’re glad to be here, we’re not going anywhere.”
When another reporter asked Bovino if the timing and location of the raid was a coincidence, he offered a very spontaneous reply that didn’t sound rehearsed at all: “Breaking the law is not coincidental. Breaking the law is breaking the law. There's no coincidence in breaking the law. So when they break the law, you can expect that you're probably going to get arrested.” But don’t worry, Bovino also insisted the raid was part of perfectly routine “roving immigration enforcement patrols,” you bet.
Makes you wonder if the administration has been holding statement-writing workshops for The Troops our brave civilian law enforcement personnel, who all happen to sound exactly like “border czar” Tom Homan.
The lawless lawbreaker who was apparently the focus of the dozens of militarized border agents was a guy named Angel who was delivering strawberries. We haven’t been able to find any other details on what strawberry-tinged threat he posed to America, but Bovino did say the man was in the country illegally.
In his speech, Newsom called on the state Lege to approve a special election for November so voters can approve redrawing congressional districts outside the normal process. Normally, an independent commission draws California’s electoral districts, but Newsom acknowledged times are anything but normal.
“It's not complicated. We're doing this in reaction to a president of the United States that called a sitting governor of the state of Texas and said, ‘Find me five seats,’” Newsom said. “We're doing it in reaction to that act. We're doing it mindful of our higher angels and better angels. We're doing it mindful that we want to model better behavior, as we've been doing for 15 years in the state of California with our independent redistricting commission. But we cannot unilaterally disarm.”
Newsom emphasized that the exception to the usual good-government process would be temporary, and that he looks forward to the commission resuming its work after the 2030 Census, and that California will continue to back efforts in Congress that would require independent commissions to draw district maps in every state, making gerrymandering illegal nationwide — something Democrats voted for alongside zero of their Republican colleagues. But that has to wait until the current crisis of democracy is over.
He also called attention to the raid that was taking place outside the museum, saying,
“Where are we? We are at Democracy Center, and right outside at this exact moment? There are dozens and dozens of ICE agents … You think it's coincidental? Donald Trump and his minions, [border czar] Tom Homan, tough guy, clearly decided, coincidentally or not, that this was a location to advance ICE arrests.”
Later in the speech, he added, “Donald Trump, you have poked the bear. We will punch back.”
Wait, no. That’s Illinois.
There. That’s better.
Newsom’s press office was quick to release video of the Border Patrol raid, with a caption using the mocking all-caps style Newsom has been using lately to make fun of Trump:
Here’s the video, which catches a bit of Bovino saying the Border Patrol has to be there since “politicians” aren’t doing anything to keep LA safe from drivers of strawberry delivery trucks.
Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass said there was “no way” the timing of the raid was coincidental.
“This was widely publicized that the governor and many of our elected officials were having a press conference here to talk about redistricting. And they decided they were going to come and thumb their nose in front of the governor's face. […] It's unbelievably disrespectful. It's a provocative act. They're talking about disorder in Los Angeles and they are the source of the disorder in Los Angeles right now.”
DHS Propaganda Minister Tricia McLaughlin released a statement insisting that this was in no way a publicity stunt, it was simply a very routine operation that sent scores of routine Border Patrol guys in full battle gear, led by the regional CBP director, to do a routine sweep that targeted one (1) guy delivering strawberries.
“Our law enforcement operations are about enforcing the law — not about Gavin Newsom,” she said. McLaughlin added that U.S. Customs and Border Protection “patrols all areas of Los Angeles every day with over 40 teams on the ground to make LA safe.”
Trumpworld will now continue its usual comms strategy, insisting that the raid was a completely normal militarized operation that had nothing to do with Newsom, but also bragging about how the raid really put Newsom in his place.
And California and other blue states will continue fighting back against Donald Trump’s attempts to rig national elections.
[NBC News / LAT (archive link) / KABC TV / ABC News]
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Doktor Zoom wrote: “The lawless lawbreaker who was apparently the focus of the dozens of militarized border agents was a guy named Angel who was delivering strawberries.”
The threat of strawberry ice cream has been neutralized. Chocolate and vanilla are safe - for now.