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ziggywiggy's avatar

Hey Crip Dyke, YES! Can't even reply till a couple minutes later .

Tessie's avatar

Oh, cram it with walnuts, Little Boy Blue.

You want a "tradwife", go get one.

Go to worship services at any fundamentalist Christian church, pick out your prey, go over to her parents, introduce yourself like a proper gentleman, and ask their permission to date their property.

Take her to PG-rated movies and leave her on the doorstep with a firm and friendly handshake in advance of her 10 PM curfew.

After six months, announce your engagement at Christmas dinner with her entire family present.

Marry her at her family's church, settle down in suburbia in a red state, and start cranking out kids.

And don't you EVER say a goddamn fucking WORD about how your wife is dumb, or how your wife is unworldly, or how your wife is boring, or how your wife is sexually naive/prudish, or how having six kids in five years "ruined" your wife's body, or how your six kids keep you from constantly being the center of your wife's attention as is your rightful due, or how you have to work yourself to death to support a stay at home wife, six kids, and a suburban house that's mortgaged up the ass, or... well, anything really.

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