America's single greatest achievement, John Boehner, was interviewed on last night's 60 Minutes , and, thanks to his stage mom standing off camera, yelling at him to cry on cue, he didn't disappoint. "I've never been in a tanning salon in my life, I've never used a tanning product in my life," he said, his tears taking on an orange hue as they flowed down his face. "Burnt Sienna," not "Peach," is the natural skin color of white people, you see, despite what seven-year-olds coloring with a box of crayons will tell you. Other things John Boehner that will make this man cry: walking into a school -- something he will never do again because of the tears, so our education crisis is now solved -- and Barack Obama saying he is a mean hostage man.
Polls have shown tanning to be too metrosexual for the Republican base. Sunburn on the back of the neck is, however, expected.
Every time John Boehner cries, I feel nauseated.
I am giggling while trying to keep my Egg McMuffin down.
Boehner is an atheist in the eyes of the almighty Irony God.
“I’ve never been in a tanning salon in my life, I’ve never used a tanning product in my life,”
I knew it. He’s just a big nicotine stain.
Disorganized speech is a symptom of schizophrenia. Just thought I'd point that out.
Hm. There's an echo in here.
You mean "needy" in the impoverished sense, right? Not the emotionally demanding sense.