437 Comments
author

“Queen for a Day” was a weirdly popular game show from the 1950’s. It’s also your hed gif source. Learn about all that here: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/would-you-like-to-be-queen-for-a?r=angu9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

It was ghoulish. I think of it as an early version of folks in dire straits needing to raise money for medical care on go fund me. It seems that lack of any sort of a safety net is a long standing tradition in the good ol’ USA.

Expand full comment

I've gotta get me one of them Wonkette-branded refrigerators!

Expand full comment

I think a reboot would by wildly successful. And worse.

Expand full comment

I really hated that show as a kid. Still do.

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

The program lasted long enough that George Carlin was still poking fun at it in the late 1960's.

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

Under the pernicious influence of that show I once, at the age of four, called my mother "Witch for a Day". Laughter ensued and saved me from a spanking...

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

Watching old kinescopes or videos of shows like "Queen for a Day" reminds me how many of these game and daytime "human interest" shows of this period are voyeuristically cruel. "Truth or Consequences" or "Candid Camera" are basically "Punk'd" for the Eisenhower generation.

Expand full comment

Long ago I read a thing by the "Candid Camera" guy, who had a lot to say about how he worked to avoid punking people. It was supposed to be an uplifting experience for the target and show human nature in a good light. He had to get waivers from everybody in front of the camera and people basically never refused to participate.

It was _fun_, basically. Do we still know what that is?

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador, Stephen Robinson

I am mesmerized by the Queen for a Day's face and reactions...

I bet there's a good play that could be written about a QFAD? Pretty dark but with some humor? I feel like this lady's half my age but has probably had a thousand experiences beyond what I will ever see. I feel like she's likely bewildered by the show and probably the last week she spent (in the big city)--not necessarily stupid or anything, but this is all way bigger and faster than what she's used to.

I'm not a play-typer guy, but I can totally see this play and I want to star in it.

Expand full comment

As long as James O'Keefe doesn't play Candidate #2, I'm all in.

Expand full comment
author

What say you, @SER1897? A new rabbit hole to explore?

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

It was nice to see a lady with 16 kids get a new washing machine, but it was also awful to watch as two other ladies with rotten situations got something like a few TV dinners. When you're already in a losing situation at life, there's nothing like going on TV and coming in second to someone who is better at describing her misery. I think this show died because people began to doubt the stories.

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

These shows were all about voyeuristic enjoyment of the underclass's low expectations. And nonstop product placement. The Price Is Right was another one.

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

Groomers!

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

Wow, that’s a creepy and grim one. The look on her face, and the fridge, opened by those two super-happy Tinkerbells, stacked with packaged foods. Surreal. I love all the esoterica in the TABS gifs; thank you!

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

The woman looks like she's choking back tears and bile at the same time.

Expand full comment

How is QFAD different from that mystery boss show?

Expand full comment
author
Sep 19, 2023·edited Sep 19, 2023Author

Different premise. But I’m no expert on game shows.

Expand full comment

IIRC women vied to be Queen by telling their sob story. The sobbiest got a Wonkette 'fridge or something. My mother did not approve of the premise so we didn't watch. And it /is/ a creepy premise. But would be right at home in today's "reality" TV world.

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

Even as a child, I hated that show. Loathed it. And despised the host, one Jack Bailey who, I was not surprised to learn, had previously been a tent show barker.

Bob and Ray mocked it mercilessly and hilariously.

Expand full comment

Now Bob and Ray, them I loved.

Expand full comment

Wow, Bob and Ray! Does anyone have a link to that? If not, here's a classic: "Slow Talkers of America"

Expand full comment

We still love that and the paperclip factory visit.

2 people I worked with were slow talkers. Listening to them have a conversation was murder.

Expand full comment

I'll try to dig up something more specific but I remember them doing sketches in which Bob (Elliot) would be the host and Ray (Goulding) would be the pathetic, no-luck guy.

Ray would deliver a heart-rending account of his woes and Bob would award him some utterly useless prize which would cost him money to haul away. His general line would be along the lines of, "Well, gee, I don't see how that helps me."

And Ray's deadpan response would be, "No, no need to thank us.."

Of course, the hard luck stories would vary, as would the worthless prizes, so although you knew the eventual pay-off, the different sketches remained fresh for decades.

Expand full comment

They used an applause meter to determine the winner.

Expand full comment

"Joan wins! Sorry Betty, you're just not unhappy enough. Thanks for coming in. Here's a boquet".

Expand full comment
author
Sep 19, 2023·edited Sep 19, 2023Author

I wrote about that very thing on my page at the link, the reality tv connection. And the exploitative nature of the show. It was just… a lot.

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023·edited Sep 19, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

So ... I should have read the link. #LessonLearned 😉

Expand full comment
author

😉

Expand full comment

Why does that woman look so unhappy? Is she trying not to cry or does she hate the attention?

I vaguely remember watching that show with my insane aunt Becky when I was very smol I was, too!).

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

I think that rather than women applying to tell their sob stories, family and/or friends did so on their behalf (kind of like This Is Your Life). So to me it looks like she got railroaded into this against her will and not only is exhausted from whatever got the audience on her side, but feels humiliated at having her dirty laundry aired. Basically she looks exactly like I would if someone sprang that shit on me.

Also, the prize seems a little like getting a vacuum cleaner for your anniversary.

Expand full comment

For years and years around my family home the Christmas decorations were stored from one year to the next in a big "Hoover" vacuum carton. It never dawned on me until long after Mom and Dad had passed that back before my recollection that Dad must have bought Mom a vacuum for Christmas one year. That sentimental old guy.

Expand full comment

Here's the original show (linked to her winning so you don't have to watch the whole misery circus), and in context I guess she was mostly happy. Still uncomfortable to watch though.

https://youtu.be/4YJ30r_dMJs?list=PLTKmp3L0wn-W_ggbSrAQZGe9MvW9UKh0c&t=1310

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

think python did a sketch (mighta been someone else) about that show and how this woman lost her house and her husband needed surgery and her kids were in jail, and got a brand new toaster when she won the contest

And aren't you grateful! The announcer claimed with a big grin

Expand full comment

You made a Wonkete brand freezer :)

Expand full comment
author

I like futzing around with the little details. Wonkers have sharp eyes! I’ve yet to get one past you guys.

Expand full comment

I was just impressed to see that detail!

Expand full comment

Wonkette is chill.

Expand full comment
author

ISWYDT 😁

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023·edited Sep 19, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

I find ''The Masked Singer'' weirdly and inexplicably popular too, but maybe that's just me.

Expand full comment

It's not just you.

Who is The Masked Singer? I don't care. Oh, it's Sarah Palin? I still don't care. And, anyway, that's singing?

Expand full comment

That is a show I've gotten too much of just from the 15-second commercials promoting it.

#nocontestshowsformethanks

Expand full comment

It just shows that a large portion of the populace has self-lobotomized.

Expand full comment

"OW! My Balls!"

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

I'm still trying to figure out the appeal of dancing with the stars

Oh these guys practiced this one dance all week! With pros!

uhm. ok then.

Expand full comment

''Stars''?

Expand full comment

The has beens and wanna be. I loathe the show but nothing was better that watching Kate Gosselin stomping across the stage dressed as some Spanish Flamenco dancer to some unknown beat in her head, all whilst looking constipated. Followed by Sean Spicer doing a shoulder shimmy. Both showing that their dancing style closely mimicked their personality as dreadful all around.

Expand full comment

oh well, usedtobes need work too. Used to have hollywood squares for that. Re-launched a few careers also if I remember correct

Was a bit weird when they started using Pols as "stars" though, but I figured that was just Fox being fox

Expand full comment

Charlie Weaver, Wally Cox, Alice Cooper ...

Expand full comment

Nothing cracked me up more than finding out that Wally Cox and Marlon Brando had been roomies and were best bud who would go riding their motorcycles together.

Expand full comment

I still occasionally watch "Match Game" with Gene Rayburn on Game Show Network. I try to date the show based in who's on the panel:

McLean Stevenson - must have been after he quit "MASH" too soon,

Loni Anderson - had to be after "WKRP" was canceled, Brett Somers - never knew her to do anything else.

Expand full comment
author

I’ve never seen it.

Expand full comment

Sarah Palin was one of the mystery singers. Need one say more?

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

Consider yourself very lucky. It's moronic.

Expand full comment

Little better than "Dancing with the Stars".

Expand full comment

at least the dancing folks got some exercise.

Expand full comment

The whole concept of the Senate depending on Unanimous Consent to get most of its daily business done is outrageous and open to numerous abuses. There either too many people needing Senate approval to do their job or "consent" needs to be say, 60% yea instead of 100%.

I'm not as surprised by Jann Wenner's racism and misogyny given how much the Rock and Roll world was an all white boys world. Our local cable company has a selection of music channels, that I listen to a lot od their "Golden Oldies" which covers popular music of the 50s and 60s. which was the music of my youth. It's amazing how many groups were black, or featured women singers. Back then you heard music on the radio so race or sex were not big things. Sadly rock brought quite a divorce between the two. As the publisher of the leading rock magazine Wenner probably helped form that divide. And it certainly showed up in his book today.

Expand full comment
author

I hate taking a MTA bus. That is all.

Expand full comment

trouble in LDS land. it's a whole clusterfuck between "Sound of Freedom" Tim Ballard, Deseret News, Vice News, and the LDS church.

it's a whole big mess that I can't wait for to REALLY hit the news cycle.

Expand full comment

I don’t know why, but I looked at the comments made on Xitter regarding the unfortunate news about Representative Wexton. Three categories: 1. Heartfelt expressions of sympathy. 2. Covid-19 conspiracies (the vaxx caused it). 3. Expressions of joy and “it’s gods judgement “. I presume that if i went deeper, I would have run across someone blaming Hillary.

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023·edited Sep 19, 2023

Forced-birth extremist Tommy Tuberville fellates Vladimir Putin's cockles by putting America's soldiers, sailors, airmen, marines, coast guards, space guardians, public health service MDs, and NOAA commissioned officer corps* members at risk.

As coach at Auburn, ignorant bigot Tuberville led his team to a 14-13 loss against the hapless Vanderbilt Commodores, whose gridiron sportsball losers stand accused of reading books ON PURPOSE. That would be grounds for automatic five-game suspension and 20 wind sprints at any other Southeastern conference football program.

*The 321 NOAA Corps members are climate scientists who fly aircraft into hurricanes and sail icebreakers into Antarctic waters to harvest science nerd data needed to keep you alive. They have advanced degrees in engineering, earth sciences, oceanography, meteorology, fisheries science, and other related disciplines, but no NCAA sportsball teams, obvs.

Expand full comment

Considering the Senate just hot off a weeks long break in August I see no reason why Schumer allowed the Senate to recess. That weeks long break could have cleared out some military promotions and shown the Republicans in the Senate were liars if they tried to stretch approvals out with lengthy debates. Putting them on public record as obstructing military readiness instead of hiding behind Tubby, saying "gee, we want to get these people promoted but rules are rules." As if rules mean anything yo Republicans unless they only apply to Democrats. Of course the GOP would whine, along with a few Democrats because they had to work instead of soliciting legalized bribes in the form of campaign donations but it might have pressured Tubby to change his mind since he could not relax in his mansion in Florida while claiming to represent Alabama.

Expand full comment

Wenner =/= winner. bean brained anal sphincter.

Expand full comment

Woah, watch it. That's sphincter libelz.

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023Liked by Stephen Robinson

My neighbor’s husband passed from PSP 6 weeks ago. It was heartbreaking to see a once vibrant man slowly fade away.

Interesting that “Queen For A Day” gave women new implements to make it easier to be a domestic goddess when what they’d really like is to be treated like a queen and have someone wait in them, hand and foot while they get to relax. Oh the good old ‘50’s traditional wife. What a bunch of hooey.

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023Liked by Stephen Robinson

Dang I would have had that London Vogue job if it wasn’t for affirmative action!

Expand full comment

Yeah, but would you really want the daily commute?

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023Liked by Stephen Robinson

Jann Wenner is about six months older than I and we both dropped out of college about the same time. When I did so the Selective Service was on my ass immediately; remember that there was a little kerfuffle going on over in S.E. Asia in 1967. I enlisted in the Air Force to minimize my chances of being shot at, he founded a magazine. Did he have bone spurs or some other life threatening ailment?

Expand full comment

A few years later it was still raging when my turn came around. I also tried to enlist in the Air Force. I had a 4F, which I should have let stand, but I saw the USAF as my ticket out of poverty, give me a trade, etc. After more than a year spent jumping through hoops, they told me my juvenile record was more than they were willing to overlook, so they denied me. There I was with a draft number of 73 in a year they took folks all the way up to close to 300. Somehow, I didn't get the greetings. I still wonder how my life might've been different had they accepted me.

Expand full comment

Maybe, or maybe he did/does have a real one. My dad was turned away when his number came up because he truly was a severe asthmatic & half blind without his glasses. How wealthy was the asshole's family in the '60s? Bone spurs are hard to buy when you're poor or lower middle class.

Expand full comment

My neighbor’s husband passed from PSP 6 weeks ago. It was heartbreaking to see a once vibrant man slowly fade away.

Interesting that “Queen For A Day” gave women new implements to make it easier to be a domestic goddess when what they’d really like is to be treated like a queen and have someone wait in them, hand and foot while they get to relax. Oh the good old ‘50’s traditional wife. What a bunch of hooey.

Expand full comment

I am rarely serious, both here and in life. It's just not worth it, trying to consider life more than something to laugh at. But if I may, I'm going to take a few seconds and be serious, if I can: Ketamine. Wow. No, not for me. The youngest has always been a very serious little human, concerned about the feelings of her sister, how everyone gets along, making sure there's no strife. With that seriousness came anxiety, and eventually depression. The last five years of so have been bad. Other than a trip back east to meet her online gaming teammates, and the day at the climbing gym where she picked up Covid to share with her sister, she's mostly stayed home, in her room, doing nothing beyond gaming. She has always hated going to movies, and it wasn't until she turned 18 that she was finally able to tell us that it's because she can't handle the crowds. Oh hey, I'm going on a bit here -- so, basically, she has severe anxiety and depression, and meds tended to not do much beyond make her eat more, sleep more, and think of death. Yesterday was her first treatment at the local ketamine clinic. She left it with a smile on her face, in a chatty, happy mood, and with the observation that she hasn't felt this light, this anxiety-free in over 10 years. We will see how it goes over the next few weeks, but for a day, at least, a decade or more of misery and sadness and stress was peeled back, allowing her to feel happy. Here is hoping that it lasts.

Expand full comment

Both of my kids are in roughly the same boat. It's really hard to see them suffer and self-harm and retract from their lives and loved ones. My family still hasn't found this one neat trick, but I'm happy to hear that yours may have. I wish your daughter the best of luck, happiness, and health.

Expand full comment

*hugs*

Expand full comment

I wish her healing and peace. Seeing your sweet child finally seem happy must bring you all (especially her) such comfort. I hope it continues.

Expand full comment

Hey, that sounds great. I hope this path yields a better mental environment for your daughter.

Expand full comment

As do I. It hasn't been awesome, watching her pull back from family and friends and life in general. Also, maybe this means she will pick her clothes up off the floor. (hey, we need our small wins!)

Expand full comment

Is she ADHD? My daughter is and she is in a slightly similar boat. People with ADHD tend to be at greater risk for depression and addiction later in life.

Expand full comment

Yep. She's got the perfect combination of ADHD, autism, and depression. Not sure if my wife should have looked into my family's history with autism, or if I should have looked into her family's history with depression before considering the whole having kids thing.

Expand full comment

It's a roll of the dice. Sounds like your other kid doesn't have the same problems, or at least not to the same level. Certainly my daughter shares none of my son's and their uncles' (one on either side) ADHD.

Expand full comment

The younger one was the good one for sooooo long. Until we learned it was just the anxiety keeping her grounded.

Expand full comment

It is not something you think about when you are with your partner and all you see in each other is the good stuff. No one is thinking about predilections for depression or diabetes or whatever.

Expand full comment

There are probably those who think Queen for a Day is about lipsynching Freddy Mercury.

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023Liked by Stephen Robinson

Jan Wenner's reputation would be improved if only more people read his superb book, "Elvis Presley: Inventor of Rock and Roll."

Expand full comment

I can't believe The King would try to steal credit from history's greatest musical Jew, George Anthony Kitara Ravache Devolder Zabrovsky Santos Goldberg, inventor of not only Rock and Roll, but also the harmonica, gravity, and rhythm (both the musical kind and the birth control kind).

Expand full comment
Sep 19, 2023Liked by Stephen Robinson

I'm guessing that Clarence Thomas is going to hold on until he croaks. Harlan go bye-bye if he retires. But if he does leave this mortal coil, I do hope that Schumer will do it like Mitch and stone any attempts to put that sack of shit James Ho in his place. "Too close to the election" and all that.

Expand full comment