361 Comments

the rubes will eat all this performative shit up

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Trump Calls Biden “Pathetic” for Needing Hunter’s Help to Get Impeached

By Andy Borowitz

September 12, 2023

Borowitz Report)—As House Republicans took steps to open an impeachment inquiry targeting the President, Donald J. Trump called Joe Biden “pathetic” for needing his son Hunter’s help to get impeached.

“What kind of a man relies on his son to get impeached?” Trump said. “Joe Biden is a disgrace.”

Having one’s children help secure an impeachment “should never be allowed to happen in our country,” he said.

“Imagine if I had depended on Don, Jr., to get me impeached,” he said. “And Eric? Give me a break. That boy can barely dress himself.”

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The only reason ONLY REASON they are doing this is to avenge their lord and dumbfuck PAB. They’re obviously still pissed real bad that he was impeached twice. I say that Biden stonewall on any bank statements, ignore all subpoenas to attend their sham investigation and fart in their general direction just like they did. With a healthy dose of nuh uh. You did just that. Fart once more for punctuation.

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They believe impeachment is just another way to play performative politics, "High crimes and misdemeanors" means whatever they want it to mean, and they still refuse to believe the evidence that was produced during the Mad King's two impeachments. They KNOW that the king can do no wrong, so it was all just Democrats being spiteful.

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And we knew all along that the emperor has no clothes.

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eww! pass the brain bleach

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Sep 12, 2023·edited Sep 12, 2023

the pocket constitutions — like their bibles and every other performative right wing book they own — have completely uncracked spines. it isn't so much about reading them and understanding the content but displaying them to signal to the other non-readers that they are part of the same dipshit book (-displaying) club.

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They just look at the pictures.

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have YOU ever seen an illustrated copy of the Constitution? Maybe that is the problem, from Toddler Donnie on down, that there are, to the best of my knowledge, no US Constitution coloring books.

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When can we expect an reenactment of "The Night of the Long Knives" in Congress with Repubs using real knives on each other? They've emulated every other behavior of their bygone idol Der Korporal

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I much prefer calling her "Marjorie Taylor Greene" instead of "MTG" because having three names makes her sound like our most popular serial killers.

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I call her Empty G because it's fewer letters to write.

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makes her sound like a rap star

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shorter Raskin: these weirdos can't find their own dicks let alone Hunter's.

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who could have ever predicted that a bunch of preening pageant-clowns would turn on each other eventually?

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forsooth, none of us here had that foresight (often or repeatedly)

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Ken Buck is out of fucks, and I am here for it. Also completely unashamed.

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Yeah, but it's only because it's Empty G, and he's doing what he's told about her. If Lauren Boebert started the same impeachment talk, Ken would praise her to the heavens, because she's still a member in good standing of the Freedom Caucus.

tl;dr Fuck Buck.

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McCarthyism

First as tragedy, then as farce

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Well, since they're going to do the impeachment inquiry, and Qevin will lead them, I am not worried. They don't own Congress. Jamie Raskin and Dan Goldman will be allowed to speak and then let the laughter ensue. If only I could watch Katie Porter interview Gym Jordan with her whiteboard. That would be good TV.

Put your best faces forward, GOP. MTG, Boobs Boebert, Paul Gosar and let them be the mean faces attacking Uncle Joe. Then watch his poll numbers soar. I look forward to the GOP faceplant.

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The Repubs could be wasting House time doing worse things. It's like when people send money to trump--at least it's going into his pocket instead of actual elections.

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Margarine Trailer Queen said whut?

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every time I try to write a comment, discass cancels it.

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founding

well, THERE'S your problem; we are no longer on Dicksus

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The fascists are trying to find someone to run against Buck in the primary for his heresy.

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Of course they are. He committed the unpardonable crime of speaking the truth. Odd for a Freedom Caucus member, but there it is.

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founding

odd you say- un-fucking precedented!

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BREAKING!!!!! House Republicans will open impeachment inquiry into Joe Biden, Kevin McCarthy announces

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2023/09/12/biden-impeachment-2023-kevin-mccarthy/70830897007/?csp=chromepush

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Now watch Ken Buck dutifully vote for the inquiry, because he wants to keep his lousy job.

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He's a profile in...mendacity.

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McCarthy has delusions of adequacy.

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Weasel.

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I keep hearing that there are moderate Republicans in the House.

I don't believe it. Buck's just semi-lucid, at best.

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Buck's following orders. Empty G sided with McCarthy against the Freedom Caucus, so now she's got to be taken down.

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The meaning of "moderate Republican" has changed a lot over the decades.

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