So what happened? HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. I’m not gonna go back and find stories of all the wonderful seats we flipped, that’s all in Evan’s livebloog from last night. But we flipped allllll of it. I’m so tired! I feel so much better! So tired! So better!
KEISHA LANCE BOTTTTTTTOMSSS. HINOJOOOOOOOSA. All those Senate men and women. The House sure, but so many state legislatures unfucked! Oh my heart!
In the meantime, by the skin of our teeth we got to 100 new paid subscribers, so NO BAD PEOPLE’S PICTURES (new ones on the homepage anyway) for ONE WEEK.
Here is a way to give us any amount of your choosing, one-time, monthly, or annually, through Paypal, credit cards, or Venmo!
So since we just won big, here’s some people to yell at! WHAT THE FUCK, CHARLIE COOK? (The New Republic) WHAT THE FUCK, AXIOS? (Axios) How about the lesson is VOTERS WANT DEMOCRATS TO FIGHT AND NOT SUCK, HOW DOES THAT STRIKE EVERYONE. (Liberal Currents) Jesus Christ. Special bonus to NBC News for having Nikki Haley and Rahm Emanuel on to posit that the voters love centrism and hate Democrats, as well as one anchor asking, “Does this result show that red state Democrats want bipartisanship?” I DON’T FUCKING THINK SO!
Bless you, bless you, Pretti and Good. (The Bulwark)
Texas … texas funeral ;) (Texas Tribune)
Trollin’, trollin’, trollin’, keep those doggies trollin’!
Doesn’t seem like Alaskans are that happy about the FBI knocking their doors to demand to know who they supported for US Senate. (Don’t know what happened with that race yet, I am falling into my soup!) (AP)
Be a Mallory, not a Haley. Or at least be a Mallory donor, not a Haley one, ew. (Lever News)
“‘No,’ says the good doctor. ‘Not even a Vernor’s. We are a state of laws.’” (Garrett Bucks)
Chicago FBI guy’s suing the feds for scapegoating him for the laughable Kat Abu and Broadview Six indictments. (WBEZ)
I never understood what the narrative of this case — FBI people lied to Congress that they didn’t investigate Hunter Biden, but they did? — but a judge shitcanned it for bad lawyer thingie. (MSNOW)
The DOJ “antisemitism task force” a task force for doing all the antisemitism, OBVIOUSLY. But the Harvard Crimson did the reporting and some hella graphic design, so we should learn it more. (Harvard Crimson) Say goodbye to the Trump Harvard lawsuit that realllllly never made no sense in the first place! YA KIBOSHED. (Washington Post)
BREAKING DRUDGE SIREN ACHTUNG. Trump says Europe just gave us Greenland. I will be interested to see Europe LIE AND DENY IT!!!! (Facebook)
Taos prosecutor disbarred for charging murder defendant with “witch.” (Taos News)
Time to start on 2028! Here’s a profile of Nice Guy Andy Beshear! :D (Washington Sun) That’s cute, but I think we all wanna see some OSSOFF.
I’m sorry I didn’t do a better TABS job for you — exhausted! — but you can find all the happy stories and POST AMONGST YOURSELVES!
Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. Here’s our Bookshop affiliate link, when you buy books, Wonkette gets 10 percent. You can search any old book from that page and it will count. Buy all the books!
Have you subscribed to Wonkette today?
It would be really helpful if you sent Wonkette to some friends!
No writeup for today (I barely got the animation done in time), but you do indeed get your meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/be99a937-23f8-4c26-a14f-e025f0168dc5
And plus, I figure there's plenty of other exciting stuff in the news to read about today. :D
It is a great morning.
Ohio did it.
Governor Amy Acton and Senator Sherrod Brown.
Fuck yeah!