Eric Swalwell: Some Pig.
You are GTFO out of the CA governor's race, let's GTF you O of the House now too.
After a full weekend dragging his heels, finally on Sunday night California Rep. Eric Swalwell suspended his campaign for governor of California.
So which is it, you made “mistakes in judgment” that you are sorry for, but only the serious allegations are fake? They are all serious, ya fucko.
At this point in life it’s rather hard for a powerful man’s sexual proclivities to shock yr Wonkette! But what do you know, Eric Swalwell, you did it, with your sheer stupid and utterly disgusting ballsiness.
Full well knowing that he was the Democrats’ great hope to lead California next after Governor Gavin Newsom’s term is up, this utter creep not only allegedly — TRIGGER WARNING RIGHT HERE — harassed three of his female employees who were in their 20s while he was in his late 30s and early 40s and married with three children, he even allegedly raped one of his staffers twice when she was too intoxicated to consent, leaving her bleeding and bruised. TRIGGER WARNING SOME MORE:
“My vagina was bleeding the next day after the sex, I had cuts and bruises on my body,” she said. When she looked in the mirror later, “I could see the bruises of where his hand had been on my rib cage and on my legs and near my thighs,” she remembered.
Did he drug any of them too? Hearing the pattern and course of events, one can’t rule it out, though also it does not take many cocktails to disable your average 20-something woman, either.
And like so many women before them abused by powerful figures, Swalwell’s (sure, “alleged”) victims say they were scared to speak out against him because of potential blowback, and not wanting to damage his political momentum: “I always felt like if I came forward, I was going to suffer the consequences because he was so powerful. I’ve lived in fear every single day.”
Swalwell could not even refrain from photographing his erect penis and sending along the evidence to two of them that we know of, one of them 24-year-old social media creator Ally Sammarco, like it was some kind of sunset. We will never understand why some men do this.
Swalwell also apparently did not realize that while messages may disappear on SnapChat, it is not complicated to take a photograph of a phone screen with another camera. Or maybe the risk of being caught was part of the turn-on for him. Or he thought they would stay quiet for the rest of their lives. To one of his victims he even texted “sorry.”
RAPE accusations, holy shit. Maybe this will be the first sexual assault Kash Patel actually investigates, Swalwell sure helped him out generating all that evidence.
Anyway then Swalwell made it all even worse, for the victims and himself.
CNN:
An attorney for Swalwell sent two of the women CNN spoke with cease-and-desist letters on Thursday, a day after CNN first reached out to his campaign to request comment, according to copies of the letters they provided CNN. The letters called the women’s accounts “false,” ordered them to retract their statements and warned of potential legal action if they continue speaking out.
The letters said the women’s claims were “undermined” by their “voluntary and cooperative relationship with Mr. Swalwell over the course of many years” following the alleged incidents, including the former staffer asking him for job references.
Oh FUCK YOU.
Then Friday afternoon, the San Francisco Chronicle published an initial version of their story, “Swalwell allies including both chairs of his campaign — Democratic Reps. Jimmy Gomez of Los Angeles and Adam Gray of Turlock (Stanislaus County) — began withdrawing their endorsements and calling on him to drop out of the gubernatorial race. Speaker Emerita Nancy Pelosi, one of Swalwell’s most powerful allies, also called on him to leave the race.”
But no. Instead he got on the internets to claim that while he was not a “saint” and made “mistakes” and wanted to apologize to his wife, the accusations were political and blahblah. Good lord, we’re flashing back to John Edwards, but with more rape.
And but then on Sunday, more than 50 former staffers of Swalwell’s sent a signed letter describing the allegations against him as “serious” and “credible,” and he read the writing on the stall wall.
We are mad, but more than anything so fucking disappointed. Swalwell was good at shoving his Republican colleagues in a locker.
Remember how in 2023 they smeared Swalwell with baseless accusations that he’d fucked a Chinese spy, that whole racist “Fang Fang bang bang” thing MAGA was carrying on about on X? He was cleared, but Kevin McCarthy kicked him and Schiff off the Intelligence Committee.
Mildly interesting in retrospect, because while there was no evidence that he banged any spy, the first alleged non-consensual sex with a staffer happened in 2019, when the staffer was 20. Did Kevin McCarthy do the right thing for the wrong reason? Sexually harassing — never mind assaulting — one’s young staffers is a real national security issue also, and Swalwell knowingly left himself open to blackmail for the entire past seven years or so.
Meanwhile, he’d all along been building up his bonafides for governor of California, knowing full well the entire time that his actions could take him down or compromise him at any point.
Worse, California has a jungle primary where the top two contenders go head to head. Guess the party of who has been polling at numbers two and three? Republican, yep. Though about one-fourth of voters are undecided, so between now and November, absolutely anything could happen.
Maybe George Clooney will step in, given how he thinks he knows it all.
In conclusion, fuck you, Eric Swalwell. Now resign from the House and take that disgusting Texas Rep. Tony Gonzales with you. Off into the sunset, off to go seek help with you both. May your wives leave you, and may you remain cancelled forever, Anthony Weiner-style.
And may Donald John Trump face the same fate. Sigh.
[CNN archive link / San Francisco Chronicle archive link]
Ug, I'm so disappointed. And yeah, roofies was the first thing I suspected reading these women's accounts.
"A few weeks ago, in a break from encouraging his deranged president to take over Greenland, White House adviser Stephen Miller found time to post a tweet on X that appears to be mocking the new Star Trek series for being too diverse. Elon Musk emerged from his fug of racial conspiracy theories and transphobia to agree. This is embarrassing, and not just because any half-literate nerd knows that Star Trek has been woke since 1966. Because even after turning the world into their personal thunder dome, the representatives of aggrieved white male power are still unsatisfied, still demanding we cater to their every petty whim. They will continue to do so until the rest of us, at last, refuse to tolerate their nonsense."
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/apr/13/gamergate-andrew-tate-manosphere-feminists