Even Newsmax Thinks Pam Bondi Sh*t The Bed Yesterday
Uh oh, Pammy Jo!
The reviews are in, the judges have spoken, and it turns out it’s not just decent and normal Americans who were repulsed by Attorney General Screamy Jo Bondi and her “I’ve never met a child rapist I wouldn’t hide in my attic” act yesterday in Congress.
The vile, indecent Americans of MAGA hated it too, if their media mouthpieces are any indication.
Fox News didn’t air any of it live, perhaps because they had some kind of premonition how hard she was going to crash and burn. Fox likes to just ignore things that are happening, it’s better for keeping its viewers stupid, and they can just fill the time with 100 Riley Gaines “A transgender stole all my cookies” baking segments or whatever. If Fox anchors have feelings about it, we haven’t seen much from them yet.
But Newsmax? The thinking-even-less man’s Fox News?
Crazy Greg Kelly has lately been saying on TV that calling Commerce Secretary Howard Nutlick to account for his lies about visiting Epstein Island is a WITCH HUNT. His read on the Super Bowl halftime show has included statements like “Bad Bunny, bad guy. Why is he jumping up and down on a car? That's like a riot. That's code for rioting or something.” He has of course whined about how gay the Super Bowl’s colors were.
Now here are some of this thoughts about Pam Bondi:
“Pam — I like her, but she's in over her head and she's not doing the bidding of — and that's OK. The bidding of. Yes, you can do the bidding of the — we voted for the president.”
Pam, I like her but. Ouch. Not licking the presidential ass correctly.
And her specific performance yesterday?
“[S]he was not responsive, evasive. And I think she is not to be trusted and I hope she leaves soon.”
That escalated quickly. Very she looked at me funny and I hope she dies now.
Greg Kelly is weird.
He wasn’t even impressed with the dramatic elements of Bondi’s performance yesterday:
“She plays the indignation thing very well. […] I kind of thought she overdid it. I kind of think she likes cable news more than she likes the office on Pennsylvania Avenue and running the Department of Justice. I'm sorry. I'm not impressed.”
Yeah, it’s because she comes off like some kind of perverted pedo-protecting drunkass Nazi evil older stepsister of Parker Posey’s character on White Lotus.
We reckon that’s what Greg Kelly was trying to say anyway.
Kelly wasn’t the only one on Newsmax who thought Bondi shit the bed and brought it to Congress to show everybody. Carl Higbie, who is just as weird of a freak as Greg Kelly, but who wears even more masculine insecurity on his sleeve than Greg does, he hated Pam Bondi too:
“Pam Bondi did a real disservice to Donald Trump and this nation, honestly, today. […] [A]fter today, I don’t know how her political career survives.”
Welp. Newsmax has spoken.
So has Ben Shapiro, who said a lot of the same things Wonkette said about it, just way more like a fucking nerd:
“[P]erformative, performative, performative. I don't disagree with the stuff she's saying, but the performative nature of it does not make the American people feel as though there is a professional in charge of the Justice Department.”
It indeed does not feel that way.
“I do not think she's good at her job.”
Correct.
“This was the most awkward moment by far. So she was was asked about Epstein, and she promptly started doing a cable news spot about how no one should ever mention Epstein again, they should only talk about the stock market.”
This part, about THE DOW? THE DOW? I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU’RE LAUGHING, BECAUSE THE DOWWWWWWWWWW!
Yeah, Ben Shapiro thought that was dumb as hell too.
“I'm not sure the attorney general's job is to go out there and be like, why are you even covering this? It's — the Dow Jones is doing great. This was, not great here. Not great at all, Bob.”
Not great at all, Bob. So saith the head of the Daily Wire. Do they have many MAGA conservative fans?
Esteemed political thinker Kyle Rittenhouse reacted to Bondi’s testimony by saying, “Pam Bondi needs to resign. Harmeet Dhillon for AG!”
Then there’s Erick Erickson. He’s no Rittenhouse, but he has thoughts:
White supremacist Nazi virgin Nick Fuentes was already calling for Bondi’s head even before this. The Daily Beast reports that on February 9, on his Rumble show, he said, “Pam Bondi needs to be impeached. You lied about the existence of the files. You lied about unindicted collaborators and accomplices.”
Tim Pool, Mister Russian Ruble Bucks himself, said he wanted to be complimentary of Bondi after her hearing, “but I can’t. It’s just ... I can’t say it.”
So will Bondi get fired? Who knows. Mary Trump tweeted that “Pam Bondi won’t resign, and she won’t be fired. She’s doing exactly what her boss hired her to do.” On the other hand, though, Donald Trump was reportedly already not happy with her even before all this. He thinks she’s a weak and ineffective loser, and he’s upset that she can’t seem to stick the landing of literally any of her attempts to exact political retribution on his enemies. It’s been noted that in the most recent Cabinet meeting, she wasn’t even given a turn to publicly lick Dear Leader’s ass.
So if she does get quit-fired, it’ll be because she’s not protecting the child rapists effectively enough.
Oh well, guess we’ll find out. If this was Russia we reckon she would have already fallen out a window this morning, but the Trump regime doesn’t have its shit together to pull off shit like that, and probably never will.
Maybe if she loses her job she can spend more time stealing dogs from small children and making them cry. We hear that’s one of her things.
OPEN THREAD.
[Media Matters / Media Matters / Media Matters]
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I made mini brownie cupcakes with vanilla frosting and chocolate sprinkles today and they came out perfect.
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