Everybody Knows Loser Trump Surrendered To Iran Like Loser. Even His Own White House.

Too bad Obama is busy opening his presidential library today. He could negotiate a new Iran deal, easy.

Did you hear the one about how French President Emmanuel Macron convinced Trump to surrender to Iran at Versailles? That’s a pretty funny one, especially so because he’s too stupid to understand why educated people are laughing so hard right now.

We know that we’re supposed to believe Trump is doing a victory poopy in his underwear over how he did a better Iran deal than Barack Obama (grand opening of the man’s presidential library with actual celebrities happening as we speak).

But everybody knows Trump is surrendering in the war he started for no reason besides his own insecurities that the Black man is better than him, plus the fact that he’s the only American president stupid enough to take orders from Benjamin Netanyahu on bombing Iran. That’s why he and everybody else are blaming it on JD Vance, a man with no future. (Trump actually admitted this at the G7 by the way. “If it works out, I’m going to take the credit. If it doesn’t work out, I’m blaming JD.” Spoiler: It’s not working out.)

Know who else knows it? Trump’s own White House. Off the record, of course, because the alternate choice in Dear Leader’s regime would be “Off with their heads!”

But they’re talking to reporters, nonetheless. Isn’t that humiliating? Especially when you compound that with the fact that Trump has been waddling around the G7 confused all week, totally embarrassing himself and the United States?

---

Prefer a non-Substack subscription? The button below will take any amount of your choosing at Paypal — let me know if you want the newsletter subscription too! they’re separate! — or we have a Patreon too.

---

Asawin Suebsaeng got all the quotes for Zeteo, but he leads with this summary, a paraphrase from what he says he’s been hearing the past week and a half from “numerous Trump advisers and administration officials”:

We cannot afford to keep this war going much longer. We are weeks away from it plunging the global economy off a massive cliff. And not only is it shredding the Republican Party’s chances ahead of the 2026 midterm elections, but it’s been tearing apart this administration and could very well bring it down. We do not have the leverage that the Trump White House keeps publicly pretending that we have.

That’s quite a summary!

And then there’s this direct quote from a Trump official:

“They’ve got him by the balls,” this official — who, like others, is remaining anonymous because they don’t want to be fired or jailed by Team Trump — noted. “We want out, and [the Iranians] know we don’t have all the cards.”

Know how Trump is always trying to big dick people like Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy by telling them they don’t have any cards? It’s because Trump is the one who literally, at all times, has zero cards, therefore he projects his own weak and sad failings on to others as a coping mechanism.

Speaking of Zelenskyy, have you seen the videos of him drone-bombing the shit out of Moscow today? Whew! That man has CARDS!

But this post is about a loser, not a winner, so back to Trump!

Here, via Democratic strategist Jon Cooper, is a handy side-by-side of Trump’s Art of the Iran Deal vs. Barack Obama’s. You might want to print out a copy to rub your MAGA uncle’s nose in like it’s a pile of dogshit.

And here is Trump yesterday saying that he guesses it’s fine for Iran to have ballistic missiles after all. It’s not like he has any tools to stop them from doing so, after all.

And here is outgoing Republican Senator Bill Cassidy, whom Trump fucked in his primary, speaking more freely now about Trump’s big failure:

“Reagan is rolling over in his grave,” Cassidy said. “Iran’s nuclear ambitions were not curbed, and they have learned that threatening the Strait of Hormuz works and will undoubtedly leverage it in the future. Now, Iran gets to build brand-new infrastructure under this deal.

“Before the war, the strait was open, Iran was being crushed by sanctions, and 13 service members were still alive. Now, 13 Americans are dead, families have paid billions at the pump, sanctions will be lifted, and the bombing has stopped.

“This is the worst foreign policy blunder in decades.”

In summary and in conclusion, it’s too bad Barack Obama is busy having his big party celebrating his library opening on the South Side of Chicago, with Bruce Springsteen and Christina Aguilera and Common and Stevie Wonder and The Roots and John Legend and Eddie Vedder and a whole bunch of people who wouldn’t piss on any member of the Trump family if they were on fire.

We bet Obama could negotiate a new Iran deal this week, easy.

You know, if he wasn’t busy being a winner.

[Zeteo]

Want to read more Evan than just what’s at Wonkette? Visit The Moral High Ground and subscribe to it!

Follow me on Instagram!

And on BlueSky!

And on Facebook!

Here, a LinkTree!

---

---