Everybody Needs A Hobby! Tabs, Wed., Jan. 15, 2025

Morning news roundup and things to read!

Why you make me cry, Martini Glambassador??? BAT.

Did you guys miss me because I don’t work Sundays anymore spending five stupid hours just to put together Monday’s tabs? No you didn’t because Marcie was great! And now I get a day off EVERY WEEK (most weeks) and we are HAPPY. NB: We’re pulling into our quadrennial shitstorm, and any of us who can work a little less should! I mean it you guys. We’re going to need our health! And part of health is only working six days a week!

Jack Smith. “Incitement to insurrection.” What an absolutely crazy thing to consider charging a president with, just because he incited an insurrection! (Talking Points Memo) Yes the White House is in talks with the House January 6 Select Committee about maybe pardoning them, for the crime of “thought Donald Trump sucked ass when he tried to murder them.” (Punchbowl News)

Deep sigh. I’m so old I remember when “way back in the dark ages, when a state experienced a natural disaster, pretty much everyone in the federal government pitched in to help, no questions asked.” I know you don’t believe it, but it’s true! (Jeff Tiedrich)

Found a Republican who says climate change exists: This new Republican Miami-Dade tax assessor who says the property taxes he oversees should go down because climate change will hurt their property values in the future (when they don’t have homes). That seems like a no-brainer when you’re going to need infinitely more infrastructure and also rescuing all the time. Can’t possibly need taxes for all that. (Miami Herald)

Ohio’s Republican (obviously) House speaker wants to cut $650 million from K-12 education. Is that a lot? (Alternet) I am not at all clear about how “school choice” (sending tax dollars to private schools and homeschoolers) fits into this. That story was complicated!

North Carolina Republicans doing more evil again, using nonexistent “voter fraud” to throw out 60,000 ballots here, 225,000 ballots there. We’ve written lots about it but Snipy’s got so many details. (Lisa Needham at Public Notice)

New York Gov. Kathy Hochul wants to stop the hedge funds from buying up all the houses. But what do the hedge funds think about that? (AP)

SER seems pretty pissed at Joe Biden — like, I’m definitely annoyed with Old Joe, but SER is MAD — for acting like Kamala Harris fucked it up when no sir you are the up-fucker! He’s got some good points. (The Play Typer Guy)

I just got the second email in a couple of days insisting that if we didn’t write about Mark Zuckerberg (and every other bad sucky person, but this was in response to a Zuck post), he would *shrivel up and die*. Guys. I know it’s annoying to read about them all the time, but “ignore them and they’ll go away” actually means “ignore them and they will say all their shit unresponded-to and that’s the only side anyone will hear.” That’s foolish as fuck! Anyway, here’s another story about Mark Zuckerberg, to punish that lady for being wrong in my inbox. Garrett Bucks would not approve of my reason for linking to him, because of his “decency” and “empathy” and “communitarian kindness.” Well hey Bucks, GO FUCKS! (The White Pages)

This lady had a party and nobody came but then TikTok came and they did Vision Boards and she is happy, and I am NOT TRYING TO BE MEAN to this lady, I didn’t even watch her dumb video, but the People magazine writer quotes her and she calls her viewers “besties” and says “girlie” a lot and … I am glad she is happy now. VISION BOARDS. It’s cool. We should all have some hobbies. It’s healthy and whatnot! (People)

How a climate activist got a gas utility to do good. That could be a hobby! Let’s all try! (Boston Globe)

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SALE! BIG SALE! My assistant Felicia wants these OUT OF HER FACTORY so they are ON SALE for what it costs to ship it to you!

IMPEACH hats! For $12.99 includes free shipping in the US!

HELL. NO. Anti-MAGA hats! Includes free shipping in the US! Buy both for $23.99, should come off automatically in your cart! We’ll just see won’t we!

And these dumb fucking 2016 Wonkette US America Game of Elections: The Game where we made Trump too powerful; you have to throw his card away before the game begins! It’s a good game, once you throw the trump card in the garbage! Includes free shipping in the US!

Buy one or more of those three things and we will send you a FREE PRESENT! Felicia expects to have a whole fuckload of orders to fill by Tuesday, Jan. 21, the day after our NAUG-FREE WONKETTE DAY. (We’ll actually be off for the real holiday, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, but I’ll leave you with some treats to watch and nonsense.)

Somebody make Donna Rose be four again.

Oh my god, what a SALE!!!!!!

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