Everyone Thinks Ron DeSantis Is A Loser Who Should Quit Like Losers Do After Losing
Time to make like a tree and get the hell out of here.
The New York Times asked back in September 2022, “Is Ron DeSantis the future of the Republican Party?” Matt Flegenheimer wrote this soft-focus copy:
[DeSantis] has for years merrily shunned the perspectives of moderating influences and gentle dissenters and found himself validated at every turn, his recent history a whir of nominally risky choices — expert-snubbing Covid policies, an uppercut at one of his state’s largest private employers, a long-shot bid for the office he holds — transmogrified to pure political upside as he seeks to position himself as his party’s rightful heir.
DeSantis was clearly the ideal presidential candidate — until he went and spoiled it all by doing something stupid like actually running. His campaign launch on the generic social media site was a disaster, which remained the dominant theme of his candidacy. Monday, he lost the Iowa caucus to a rapist. So, no New York Times, Ron DeSantis is not the future of the Republican Party. He’s the present that voters are returning unopened.
Now former allies on the media are abandoning DeSantis with such urgency his nickname is “Titanic.” Not long after his 30-point drubbing in Iowa, The Wall Street Journal declared that DeSantis should just quit already and clear the field for Nikki Haley, who actually came in third. She lost by more but she maintains the advantage in “not being Ron DeSantis.”
“Mr. DeSantis faces no clear path to the nomination. He’s well behind Ms. Haley in New Hampshire and South Carolina. If he believes, as he says, that Mr. Trump can’t win in November, he should leave the race and give Ms. Haley a chance to take on Mr. Trump one on one.”
Pundits are still wishcasting that Haley might upset Trump in New Hampshire, even though she keeps acting like his defense attorney whenever she’s asked about his multiple crimes and scandals while Trump ramps up the racist smears. He’s started calling her “Nimrata” but doesn’t even spell the name correctly like a respectable piece of shit.
And that, kids, is why we don’t call her “Nimrata” like it’s some kind of gotcha in the comments.
Trump vented on his hate site:
“Anyone listening to Nikki ‘Nimrada’ Haley’s wacked out speech last night, would think that she won the Iowa Primary. She didn’t, and she couldn’t even beat a very flawed Ron DeSanctimonious, who’s out of money, and out of hope. Nikki came in a distant THIRD! She said she would never run against me, “he was a great President,” and she should have followed her own advice. Now she’s stuck with WEAK POLICIES, and a VERY STRONG MAGA BASE, and there’s just nothing she can do!”
Jeffrey Blehar at The National Review praised DeSantis Tuesday before burying him. “DeSantis had my vote and never seriously threatened to lose it,” he wrote. “ … Having laid my cards out on the table like this, however, it’s time to turn the tarot over and give the DeSantis campaign its reading: the Death card.”
Like other Republicans who loathe Trump, Blehar still thinks Haley is the best bet against him and put an absurdly positive spin on Haley’s Iowa performance: “[Haley’s] ticket out of Iowa is punched in a much clearer way, with a roughly equivalent performance to DeSantis in a state she had invested little time or money prior to a few weeks ago. She comes out ahead of DeSantis in terms of narrative and momentum in this logic, even with an anemic third-place win, because she never staked everything on winning Iowa or even performing well there.”
Yes, Haley did poorly but that’s actually good because she didn’t really try. I thought Republicans didn’t give participation trophies.
DeSantis hasn’t just lost the right-wing establishment. Last night, professional terrible person Laura Ingraham called for him to drop out and endorse Trump. She tried to let him down easy: “He out-performed last night. He beat Nikki Haley’s war chest, so he has a lot to be proud of. As a candidate on the trail, he worked his butt off. And people forget how young he is. So, with what – three more years as Florida’s governor? He can build an even greater track record of success in that very important state. So, a future in the Republican Party for him could be really bright.”
But DeSantis was already the future of the Republican Party for a few weeks there. Now that’s all in the distant past.
[Mediaite]
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DeSantis is fast becoming the Jeb of this election cycle. And once you’re a Jeb, that’s it for your electoral prospects forever.
“DeSantis had my vote and never seriously threatened to lose it,” he wrote. “ … Having laid my cards out on the table like this, however, it’s time to turn the tarot over and give the DeSantis campaign its reading: the Death card.”
This is painfully shit writing.