F*CK THAT! CHANGE SOMEONE'S LIFE! Tabs, Mon., Dec. 23, 2024

Morning news roundup and things to read!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Housekeeping! Will we be here today? We will, but slow-posting like. Will we be here tomorrow? NOPE. But Evan is under instruction (Mondays are my day off, HE’S IN CHARGE HERE!) to make you “a post” for Christmas Eve and also for Christmas, and I’m pretty sure Ziggywiggy is showing you a movie on Christmas afternoon! We’ll be here on Thursday, but there will be no morning tabs, because I’m neither working Christmas night nor making anyone else do it in my place.

Okay, schedule scheduled! Now what are we reading today?

Here’s what happened with the government shutdown and the continuing resolution: Democrats saved millions of workers from getting furloughed right before Christmas, and after wise and good Elon Musk successfully demanded Congress cut funding for pediatric cancer research, Democrats got a unanimous “the fuck you say” bill passed funding it separately. Joe Biden will veto it JUST KIDDING. (Heather Cox Richardson)

“CNN confirmed on-air just now that top Trump aides are furiously calling journalists to insist that Elon Musk has been following the orders of Trump rather than the other way around. As predicted, Trump is horrified and enraged at the idea that Musk is now seen as the President of the United States.” — Scenes from President Musk’s shutdown. (Jeff Tiedrich)

This excellent piece about the people who pulled an Amber Heard on Blake Lively because she asked them not to harass her please. She filed a civil rights complaint and got all their text messages where their “crisis PR” person explained how terrible it would be if Lively got all their texts about how they were going to do an Amber Heard and “bury her.” Information warfare is real, and the bad guys are AMAZING at it. (New York Times gift link)

Josh Marshall thinks it should be pretty easy for a political party to make hay out of the other party being specifically, out loud, the party of billionaires. But like that would require people to use the brains in their heads, too, also, as well. (Talking Points Memo)

I know why people think the Democratic Party is “toxic,” Joe Manchin, it’s called look in the fucking mirror, you dick. (CNN)

Ricky Henderson was a … baseball man? Anyway, FUCK THAT, CHANGE SOMEONE’S LIFE. This has been sports. (Reddit / Indignity)

The Bulwark wants you to stop shitting on things that are awesome, like It’s a Wonderful Life! (The Bulwark)

The real Santa Claus. (Modern Medieval)

It seems like The Body Keeps The Score might be bad! It might be a bad book! (Mother Jones)

It’s that time of year: The Haters’ Guide to the Williams Sonoma Catalog! It’s a terrible store! (Defector)

Do we want to look at my new kitchen? We DO? Okay! Reminder, the color inspiration was “this but way more cluttered.” (Making It Lovely)

Shy, my good son Jimmy, and Dominic (your photojournalist!) did everything but the electrical (which was about half the cost) and some drywall. Since we had drywallers there anyway, we decided to cut through the ceiling and fix Old Mom’s shower above while we were at it. You can’t tell that the re-purposed cabinets (from elsewhere in the kitchen) have been painted Sherwin Williams “Houseplant,” but it’s an awesome grass green and I love it! (The pullout cabinet door for the garbage cans only came last week, so that one door next to the pretty sink will stay white FOR. EVER. It’s not that we don’t have paint left, it’s that FUCK YOU, PULLOUT CABINET DOOR, WE’RE DONE.) The walls are Sherwin Williams “Water,” and the ceiling is whatever we painted it two years ago. Have some pictures! It’s almost nighttime so it’s dark in there! It’s much nicer in more day! Also, I am bad at pictures! Dominic would make this kitchen look awesome if he were here!

I’ve been collecting furniture for the kitchen for about a year and a half, knowing I was going to want an “unfitted kitchen,” where you just have furniture instead of upper cabinets because cabinets are lousy for tiny and adorable people like me. (I have step stools for the things in the massive hutch.) You can’t see what’s in them! For instance, I did not even know Shy had stowed a bunch of boxes full of tools and shit on top of the fridge until RIGHT NOW! Here are my attempts at “close-ups.”

In that crockpot on the counter is a pork roast with: onion, garlic, carrot, and celery; chicken broth, salt and pepper, and thyme; brown sugar and cinnamon sticks; apple cider vinegar, orange juice, pomegranate juice, and fresh cranberries. I wasn’t even high! How will it be? I have no idea! I will update you, though, maybe. (IT WAS GOOD.)

This song was written by Prince, so I assume her kitchen is her vagina. It is “unfitted” too!

I mean her vagina!

We got a lot of shit to do today! And by we, I mean me not at work. Love you bye!