
FTC Won't Let Companies Run Fake Reviews Anymore, Five Stars AAAAA++
Excellent rule, would regulate again!

A new Federal Trade Commission rule banning fake online reviews went into effect this week, making it illegal for businesses to buy positive reviews, post reviews from nonexistent people, and do other deceptive practices meant to mislead consumers into thinking that real people have given high ratings to products and services. Yes, there goes that Biden administration again, running roughshod over people just trying to make a dishonest buck and making small parts of daily life better.
Announcing the final version of the rule back in August, FTC chair Lina Khan said, “Fake reviews not only waste people’s time and money, but also pollute the marketplace and divert business away from honest competitors,” adding that the rule will “protect Americans from getting cheated, put businesses that unlawfully game the system on notice, and promote markets that are fair, honest, and competitive.”
Now that the rule has been in the Federal Register 60 days, it’s enforceable. We should add that the FTC, which knows a thing or two about online business, also ran a blog post about the rule titled “We’ll pay you to give our new rule a good review.” You never saw witty federal agencies under Trump. Snotty and trolling, yes, but not reader-friendly.
The FTC blog also made clear that despite that casual tone, the new prohibition is Srs Bns:
Is this new rule going to sit on the proverbial bookshelf and collect dust? You better believe it won’t. The FTC will look to use it, when applicable, to go after those who employ these prohibited practices to hoodwink consumers and get an unfair leg up on their competitors.
The agency also issued detailed guidance for businesses to help them follow the rule, so no excuses, you.
The rule specifies a bunch of deceptive business practices, like such as:
Writing, selling, or buying fake or false consumer reviews. No reviews from people who don’t exist and never used the product or service, and that includes AI-generated reviews, because HAL-9000 may have an opinion on pod bay doors but it doesn’t go to Thai restaurants or buy shoes.
Buying Positive or Negative Reviews: Businesses can’t pay people to give good reviews of their services or to give bad reviews of a competitor. That also bans giving someone any kind of bonus or discount in exchange for a good review
Insider reviews or testimonials: No reviews written by the business’s own people, unless their connection to the business is “clearly and conspicuously” disclosed.
Claiming company-controlled review websites are independent: You can’t pretend that a review for a product on a website you own is an independent review.
Review suppression: Businesses can’t try to pressure people who give a bad review to remove or alter it using “unfounded or groundless legal threats, physical threats, intimidation,” or the like, and golly, we guess that must happen. Also if a business website presents only mostly or all positive reviews and leaves out the negative ratings, it has to say so.
Fake social media data: No boosting your site by purchasing fake followers or views or other indicators, and selling those is also prohibited. This applies to “situations in which the violator knew or should have known that the indicators were fake.”
Also, we were relieved to see that the rule applies to reviews going forward, so Amazon won’t have to take down the epic funny reviews of the “Three Wolf Moon” T-shirt that attributed mystical powers to the shirt, and we can all still enjoy this 2010 science-fiction story in the form of a one-star review, about some $8,500 stereo speaker cables (marked down to ($6,800 with free shipping) that are themselves no longer available:
I have only a little time...
We live underground. We speak with our hands. We wear the earplugs all our lives.
PLEASE! You must listen! We cannot maintain the link for long... I will type as fast as I can.
DO NOT USE THE CABLES!
We were fools, fools to develop such a thing! Sound was never meant to be this clear, this pure, this... accurate. For a few short days, we marveled. Then the... whispers... began.
Were they Aramaic? Hyperborean? Some even more ancient tongue, first spoken by elder races under the red light of dying suns far from here? We do not know, but somehow, slowly... we began to UNDERSTAND.
No, no, please! I don't want to remember! YOU WILL NOT MAKE ME REMEMBER! I saw brave men claw their own eyes out... oh, god, the screaming... the mobs of feral children feasting on corpses, the shadows MOVING, the fires burning in the air! The CHANTING!
WHY CAN'T I FORGET THE WORDS???
We live underground. We speak with our hands. We wear the earplugs all our lives.
Do not use the cables!
If you want to report an actual fake review, which is a nice oxymoron, you can do so at reportfraud.ftc.gov. No, fake reports are not funny.
PREVIOUSLY!
[FTC/ AP / Fast Company / Image: KMSP-TV on YouTube]
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That cable review is insanely great. I would pay $8,500 for that review if they would just include shipping and handling.
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