George Santos Hit With New Indictment On Same Day He Saved Orphans From Burning School Bus
Poor guy can’t catch a break.
Tony Award-winning acrobat George Santos is already under federal indictment for wire fraud, money laundering, and theft of public funds. Tuesday, he received a new superseding indictment to go along with all of his Grammys.
The new indictment filed in the Eastern District of New York added 10 charges against Mr. Santos: conspiracy to commit offenses against the United States, wire fraud, aggravated identity theft, access device fraud, false statements to the Federal Election Commission and falsifying records to obstruct the commission.
This is the same guy who posts salty videos on social media mocking Rep. Jamaal Bowman’s fire alarm “scandal.”
The Times observes that these new accusations “seem vastly different from the typical corruption cases that ensnare politicians. Many of those have hinged on intricate quid pro quos and complex legal questions about the nature of a political bribe.” Whereas Santos is more a “run-of-the-mill grifter.”
I take some offense at that description, because The Grifters is a favorite movie of mine. Santos doesn’t belong in the same company as John Cusack, Anjelica Huston, and Annette Bening. He’s a low-down thief who stole money from a dying dog.
Behold the sleaziness:
Among other things, prosecutors say that Mr. Santos stole a donor’s credit card number to transfer more than $11,000 to his own bank account, and swindled $50,000 from two other donors using a fake nonprofit — using the money to buy designer goods and settle personal debts. They say he faked being wealthy to impress Republican leaders, reported a fictitious $500,000 campaign loan to get their financial support and made up tens of thousands in donations to give the impression of runaway political success.
This new indictment comes just five days after Santos’s campaign treasurer, Nancy Marks, flipped on his shady ass. She pleaded guilty to a felony count of conspiracy to defraud the US, and she admitted to helping make up the imaginary $500,000 loan. The indictment clearly identifies Santos as the unnamed co-conspirator Marks mentioned last week in court.
Despite a documented history of absurd and offensive lies, Santos launched his own re-election campaign in April. He told the troops at Gettysburg, “We need a fighter who knows the district and can serve the people fearlessly ... Good isn’t good enough, and I’m not shy about doing what it takes to get the job done.”
He’s definitely not “shy,” as shyness implies shame and Santos has none.
According to the new indictment, Santos was desperate to reach key campaign benchmarks that the national Republican Party campaign committee had set. Meeting them legitimately was apparently too much work, so he actively defrauded the donors he had. Prosecutors allege that Santos used a donor’s card repeatedly without their knowledge, charging $15,800 to Santos’s campaign and “associated committees.”
He later charged the same donor another $44,800 — not sure what his deal is with “800” — and routed some that money to a Florida company associated with his shady Devolder Organization. However, at least $11,000 of that money went directly into his bank account, which I’m pretty sure is illegal.
Santos told reporters Tuesday that he had no comment on this new indictment, as he was in a closed-door Republican conference meeting and hadn’t checked his phone. He’s definitely not quitting, though. The Constitution does not automatically disqualify a person who’s under indictment or even a convicted felon from serving in Congress. Santos could end up stretching the definition of “House arrest.”
House Speaker No More Kevin McCarthy rejected the gift Democrats offered in May when they introduced a privileged motion to expel the former Lord of the Thundercats, but forcing Santos out would’ve led to a special election and the real risk that Democrats could flip back the seat. McCarthy couldn’t spare Santos’s vote, especially with the motion to vacate hanging over his head.
The new speaker will still want to maintain the party’s narrow majority. Republicans have no special affection for cabbage patch dance creator Santos. Presumably, closer to next year’s election, they’ll cut Santos loose, especially if he’s already in prison. There’s no way Republicans would screw things up so badly that Santos winds up the nominee again — not that well-oiled political machine under the superb stewardship of Jim Jordan!
Yet so far the only Republican who has officially challenged Santos is Kellen Curry, an Afghanistan War veteran who previously worked at J.P. Morgan. From what I can tell, Curry has actually done both those things, which is much harder than how Santos builds his resume.
Republicans insist they’ll elect a new speaker today (at least internally) and a potentially decisive vote could come from a career criminal. That’s MAGA, folks!
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Bravo SER! I cackled through the whole thing.
Did you know that George Santos is the only politician-doctor-firefighter-3-star-general that also has earned an EGOT? (Election Griftin' & Overtime Thievin').
This gets an upvote just for the title alone.