Get Right Out Of Our Faces With This 'The ICE Officer Had Internal Bleeding' Crap

How are you going to have internal bleeding when the car did not touch you?

Over the past few days, it’s felt like the bootlickers have lost the narrative war when it comes to how an ICE goon murdered Renee Good. They tried their hardest to present the 37-year-old white mom of three as a scary domestic terrorist, spreading terror and mayhem across the streets of Minneapolis in her [checks notes] Honda Pilot — but for some reason, it didn’t really seem to take. Possibly because they brought so many lies to the table on the first go round. They sped up the video to make it look like she was slamming on the gas, they claimed that she had come all the way from Colorado to Minneapolis on a George Soros-funded Antifa field trip, for the explicit purpose of killing innocent ICE agents who were just trying to save us all from rapists and murderers and not, you know, random Grubhub drivers minding their own business. On a last ditch effort, they tried suggesting that ICE officers were “traumatized.” They threw every strand of spaghetti they had up against that wall, hoping something would stick and just ended up with a pile of dirty floor pasta that no one wanted to eat.

So now — now — DHS officials are claiming that the ICE agent who shot Good three times in the face and called her a “fucking bitch” afterwards was actually hospitalized with internal bleeding.

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Really? Really? Internal bleeding? How? The car did not even touch him. Did Renee Good or her wife use their psychic powers to explode one of his internal organs?

Some have speculated that by “internal bleeding” they meant “bruise” (which is a form of internal bleeding), but let me tell you! I am a delicate and frequently anemic flower. Right now I have a bruise on the back of my calf and I could not tell you how on earth it got there. You look at me funny and I’ll probably bruise, and even I’m not gonna be bruising from that non-encounter. So I think they’re just straight up lying. I’m sure they sent him to the hospital for appearances, but no one is getting internal bleeding from that.

Please. At least when (underrated national treasure) Jenn Lyon pretended to get run over by Meadow Soprano’s car in the Lifetime movie The Neighbor in the Window, she had the decency to dramatically throw herself over the hood before claiming that she broke her leg.

Even that was more believable!

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If anything, the ICE agent probably had bruises from slipping and falling all over the regular ice and snow, because none of these clowns even thought to wear snow boots, in Minnesota, in the middle of freaking January.

Now, the alternate title of that movie (they all have them, do not ask me why) is False Victim, because the Jenn Lyon character has False Victimization Syndrome, which is why she stalks Meadow Soprano and pretends to be the victim of slights and crimes by her, even though she is the one who is doing bad shit. Maybe the officer has that? Hell, maybe all of ICE does. Or even the whole of the Republican Party in this country. Seems more likely to me than that ICE officer suffering internal bleeding from very clearly not being touched by a car.

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